Hurt (triolet)

This is a new form for me, and I'm not sure of it. Helpful critique is always welcomed and appreciated.

Thanks,
Marilyn

Great post, M!

I don't know much about this form either, but i think you have done a good job with the wording!

Good one, Marilyn.  The lines in a  triolet do not need to all be the same length.

Thank you, Kerrell, Lisa, Chris and John.

John, I think I knew that and it just worked out that way, but I'm certainly open to suggestions for anything else. Appreciate it.

Actually, I had to take the computer in for repair today, got it back (also today) thought I'd lost this and just found it!

This worked beautifully. I haven't dared try anything so formal, but you've made it sound natural.

Thank you, Sheila,

I appreciate that.

Ncely written :) I feel the hurt in each word!

Though I'm not one for hard and fast poetry rules, the triolet is often written with each line 8 syllables in length (4 metrical feet), iambic tetrameter (the more common way), or in pentameter (English version) where each line only has 10 syllables(5 metrical feet).

It gives it a flow, but with this poem, I kinda like the jarring of variable length lines because it adds to the emotion.

A message of anger imbued with sadness.

Thank you all, and I didn't know that the syllables (somehow missed that) actually were counted too, or I'd probably never have tried this. As it is, I think I rewrote a few times, then the computer went down, then I lost it. I'm still looking for other things that got lost in the "computer fixing"!

I know very little about poetry, so I've never heard of a triolet, but I thought this was short but powerful. It really packed a punch. And who needs rules when you're writing anyway!!! Very well done!!!

I have to admit i have never heard of a triolet, but I enjoyed what you wrote :)

Love it!

Marilyn, I found this triolet provoking and strong.  Somehow the title doesn't work for me.  It seems that you have recognized toxicity in others and see how you can leave those bitter people behind you.  I think the title might encompass that in some way.  Since the poem is short and there is repetition, use the title as another line to elaborate your thoughts.

Just my two-cents.  Your poem sounds as if it's from the heart.

Thanks, Susan,

It is from the heart, and can I still change the title? Oh my, a revision! Ha, after the other one? I think I'm on my third revision on that one... still, plugging along.