Depleted ( a rant)

I know how you feel.  Go ahead and rant, you deserve it.  Never forget your worth no matter how others would have you feel!

Even kind and loving persons need to take care of themselves, and being able to say ENOUGH or NO can be quite healthy.

!!rant on !

I am sorry you are feeling so bad right now......Sometimes we have to find our "voice" and let others know how we are feeling.  It's not an easy thing to do but if done in a calm and quiet way, the message usually gets across to them.  I have often felt as you do and it's not a good feeling.....I finally learned to tell people what "I" wanted and needed and it did get better.......take care of yourself!

i know  how you feel, I feel the same way as you do.. Please feel free to rant on..

You put yourself there.

In the middle is not a good place to be at all.  So my advice - don't go there, as you won't like it at all.  Both sides will dump on the one in the middle always.

To get out stop talking

i know how you feel

Cheryl, you know I could have written this but it was better that you did, for you chose the right words to descibe this anomaly.  And anomaly is what it is for a good, kind, loving soul to get abused into a dumping ground.

Being taken for granted is pretty much close to being unloved.  I know.

Rant away dear soul, you're entitled.

y'know what, brother-mine?

it's not an anomaly.

like Cheryl, i (too oft') wish it were.

One think I have learned to do with others is suggest we pray about it and give it to God. There is just so many hours one can discuss something that has no answers.

We can  get off  other people's merry go rounds by doing that, or saying, gee, I'm tired and I need to go to bed, maybe things will look better in the morning.

God knows our hearts, but we can be loving,  kind and considerate and not be doormats. We can set limits for ourselves and others.

Sounds like you need a rest and time to yourself.  I used to take long baths when my family was starting to get to me, just so I could be alone, even if they were on the other side of the door.  :)

Take care!

That's how I feel.  I think we should start "Escape Island" for women..........we each have our own little corner, we can come to a large tent in the middle to chat and sing, then go our separate ways, when we want.

And lots of chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!   :)

Oh...this sounds perfect!  LOTs of chocolate...

i'm chocolate...

...takers? -anyone?

(darn.)

I understand that feeling, and had it myself for quite a while in the not too distant past. My head kept screaming "What about me?" as I seemed to be the one that was supposed to hold everything together. I think it is the nature of a family to depend on mom to take care of everyone. Sometimes mom just has to put herself first. Is there any way you could take a few days away, check into a hotel...sit by the pool?

Some people just take advantage. It's a shame. You can't help everyone. You have to think of yourself sometimes.  It's so good to rant. You can't be sweet all the time . Hey maby you can. The smile is nice. Just chill. take care of you.

You sound so much like me and I had to teach myself what was best for me.  I was always putting everyone before me, letting them bash me in the face and blame for everything that happened.  So finally I said look its not my fault it is yours if you don't like it there is the door.  My family I told them they were the ones abusing me, don't contact me again, don't ask about me again, don't anything to do with me.  As far as other's around me they want advice they are going to get it either take it or leave it. Friends or so called friends that need help I help one time if they screw me over I am done.  May sound like I am being cruel but I had to do something before I really hit any more rock bottom then I was already.  You rant away but then hun get up and live for you and no one else.

Renee...thank you for your comment.  Its always good to hear the advice of someone who has been through it.

You can't be everyone's everything Cheryl, sometimes ;you need the ones to lift you up also and those that rant to you should know this also.  Sometimes we have to mae them aware though that we have those needs too.   

You need to start allowing yourself to vent your feelings, and possibly escape to a local park, or spa if time/money allows. :)

Go girl, spit it all out.

Featured in the The Triple Name Club

Ranting is exceedingly therapeutic, as I am sure you well know.  When you absorb too much from others, sometimes you have to shut them out for a time to re-absorb yourself.  Its hard to do when people depend on you, but so necessary for your well being.

Take care of yourself and rage on!

Having  lived  that way  for  40  yrs,  and  winding  up  hospitalized with a massive  breakdown ;  I  feel  for  you  in  a big  way./// Do  you  ever  watch the t.v. show HOUSE --- with Hugh Laurie  ???  On one show, and this line  meant so much to me that I wrote it down  to  remember ( as if I could forget it)-- House's  much beleagured friend Wilson  finally  told  him :  '' I  REFUSE  TO  BE  SUCKED  INTO  THE  VORTEX  OF  YOUR  INSANITY ."  ///  I  am also  reminded of something similar I read  by  Joel Osteen;  something along the line of  :  ''I'm  sorry  that  you  aren't  happy .  But  I  am  not  going  to  let  your  unhappiness  mess up  mine.///"

I  have had  several  family  members ,  one  most  especially,  who can only  be  described  ( as another family  member did so ):  EMOTIONAL  HOOVERS.  CAUSE  THEY  SUCK  THE  LIFE  RIGHT OUT OF  YOU. (  in reference to  Hoover  Vacuum Cleaners.)///

Don't wind up  with  breakdowns  like  I and many others have.  I  have learned since  then  that EVEN IF IT"S FAMILY,  goodness, EVEN IF IT"S A  LIFE PARTNER-- we  have  to  get  rid  of our  TOXIC  RELATIONSHIPS.

Recently,  after  a bad  day  with an in-law that  I  ,  along with everyone else,  have  spent  28 yrs trying to  please--- I  turned to  her latest instant victim  at the table and whispered:  ' I'VE JUST  COME UP  WITH A NEW LINE  FOR  US :

'WE,  THE  INADEQUATE ,  HAVE  DEVOTED  OUR  LIVES, TO THE IMPOSSIBLE  MISSION, OF  TRYING  TO  PLEASE  THE  UNPLEASABLE !!!

Cheryl there  are  no easy solutions,  but  there  are solutions.

We  have to teach those around us  that although we love them,  the source of  their happiness does not  lie  within  us---but within themselves .  If  they  refuse to be happy--we simply  do  not  posess whatever it is going to take to make them happy

Well, having lived this way  for decades--I could go on and on.  I hope I've offered  up  something of value in this. If only  Wilson's  wonderful  statement to HOUSE:

' I REFUSE TO BE SUCKED INTO THE VORTEX OF  YOUR  INSANITY!"

Our hearts go out to you, dear friend.  Lonnie  and  Loraine Fowler,  former  doormats  add  emotional punching bags  and  dumping grounds  to  the  masses

Thank you so much for you comment.  It really helped me to put things into perspective.  Blessings....:)

All too often people who are giving and caring forget the important task of standing up and saying, no, it is time to take care of me. You are as worthy of your love and consideration as any around you!!

Hugs and Blessings

If you ever need somebody to listen, send me a note, I am here.

I know exactly how you feel. I've always been the one to be the shoulder to lean on as well. The one person will keep another's secrets or listen to their fears.
But, whenever I needed someone they are almost always unavailable...

That's why I found Gather and have some good friends to keep me above ground.

When my mother in law passed this Thursday, I was terribly distraught.

So much so that I passed out in the hospital. Luckily my tests came out okay and it was deemed stress. I went home and rested. But, still felt as if I could not get enough oxygen.

I still have dizzy spells and feel as if I have no one to help, even though my hubby is around. It's his mother that died. But, it feels as if my own mother has died. And, I'm at a loss.

Not knowing what to do or how to go on. It's like a gaping hole where my heart should be.

HUGS, Angela.  I'm so so sorry about your mother in law.  Take good care of yourself and if  you need anything...don't hesitate to ask.

get a big mean dog and keep it with you

Take a breath and look inside, may be it is within you, to become a salve to others' wounds.

the point of being born

I think we are birds here who flock together on gather!

Norene said it all.  Cheryl, some days we're the bird and some days we're the statue.  Too many statue days can really bring us down.  Venting is good for us!

Poddar's words are wise, too.  Try to be as good to yourself as you are to others.  You deserve it!

Thank you, everyone...for listening to my rant and for being such dear friends.

You have to re-fill your own glass before you can pour any into anyone's else's cup!!  I used to feel like you did a lot.  No more. Most of the culprits in my life are kept at arm's distance now and I'm a lot better off.  Blessings to you my friend.  I do hope you take care of you.  You are important too!!  Hugs!!

I can understand how you feel sometimes friends dont konw the limit you just have to say something or else you'll end up paying the price

When you do expectation comparisons versing desire with actuality, you are bound to get bogged down in negative or melancholy feelings. I think acceptance of knowing people trust you should give you reason to shout for joy. Think of how your words affect the person unloading their burdens on you. Feel proud that people think of you as a caring soul. Turn lemons into lemonade. Only you can control such feelings.

thanks!

hey Cheryl, Hang in there!!  there are many of us that know how you feel but can not put it into words quite as well.   if ranting makes you feel better, rant away!

I know how you feel. You have every right to feel this way. I hope things soon get better for you. *HUGS*

Get in your car...drive a ways with the windows rolled up and SCREAM!!! Relieves tension and makes you feel a lot better!

Take care of yourself and remember that you are SPECIAL! You are #1 in your life and don't you forget that!!!