June 26, 2009, Jay and I will officially be married. We've been together for 4 years and have 2 beautiful daughters together. Our oldest turned 3 years old today and our youngest turns 1 year on July 14. These have been a rough 4 years but also the best 4 years of my life. I can truly say that I have found my soul mate.
Our story is a funny one. Some may think we are horrible people for how things started out but I think all things happen for a reason. As the saying goes, If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right.
We actually worked at the same place about 8 years ago. His mom also worked there and I was friends with her. I knew she had a son and I'm sure that I had seen him around. I even sometimes filled in in the department he worked in, so I'm possitive that I had met him. His mom stopped working there a year or two later and we lost touch because she had moved away to North Carolina to be with her son. He had just enlisted into the Marines and was stationed there. I had been engaged and got married in 2001.
Four years ago, I was considering splitting up with my husband. (I won't get into those details but it was a bad situation for me.) I met this guy, Jay (that had just come home from the Marine Corp.) at work through a friend. She was considering dating him but had gotten out of a bad situation and was afraid to get involved. I was trying to be her friend and encouraged her to date him. They started dating and we even double dated (the 2 of them and me and my husband at the time). As time went by they started having issues because of her ex-boyfriend and her feelings for him. Jay would talk to me about her and I'd talk to him about my problems with my husband. We started hanging out as friends and then things eventually progressed and we realized that we had feelings for one another. Before that though, I separated with my husband. He broke things off with my "friend" also. I soon found out who his mom was. What a coincedence. (If only we had met 4 years prior........)
We found out that I was pregnant 4 months later. We were both scared and nervous and also very happy and excited. Our relationship was so new that I was terrified that I'd end up a single parent but I never told him that. I still had a divorce to deal with and not to mention that he was also seperated form his wife and had a son with her (another long story).
He hadn't been in his son's life for a long time, through no fault of his own. He was in the Marines and couldn't leave North Carolina or he would have gone AWOL. She just up and left one day and came back to Pennsylvania. When I found out that I was pregnant, I decided that I needed to meet his son. My child had a right to know his or her brother. He agreed. He contacted his wife and started getting visitation. His son has been spending more and more time with us ever since.
Soon after, we moved in together and decided to stay a family. He started divorce proceedings. I was still trying to get it through my husband's head that it was over and was trying to get marital things settled such as our house and vehicles, etc.
Anyway, his divorce was finalized May 2007 and mine was finalized May 2008. We have been officially engaged since February 2007. We've had a lot of outside issues such as our ex's but we've stayed strong through it all. We even went through a very rough pregnancy with our oldest. The adjustment of his son being in our lives. My family accepting him. We very rarely disagree on anything and hardly ever even raise our voices to one another, nevermind a fight. He is my best friend and is the best father I have ever met.
Just a few of the many, many, many loving things he has done for me include planning my baby shower. He even went out of his way to invite my mom and sister who had already decided they did not like him (now they love him). He was there for the entire delivery of our daughter, I was induced and was in labor from Monday until Friday. He rearranged his work schedule and even called in sick a few times so that he could attend my 13 ultrasounds and my numerous non-stress tests. He was more excited about the birthing classes then I was. He was at EVERY doctors appointment. He took extended time off when she was born. He consoled me when I found out that our baby might have Downs Syndrome (which she does not have). He calmed my fears about cervical cancer when I found out during my pregnancy that I have HPV. He risked getting fired to leave work early when I had a breakdown due to postpartum depression. He called my doctors and my friends and family to make sure that everyone was checking in on me everyday through it. He even quit smoking and drinking for/with me.
When I was pregnant with our youngest, I was so sick that I could hardly work and he supported me in my decision to quit my job after 12 years. He works his butt off everyday so that we can pay our bills and take care of our kids, without complaining about money being so tight. He has rearranged his work schedule numerous times so that he can be home more with the kids and myself. He has worked 2 and 3 jobs at once also. He has tried over and over again to advance at work so that he can provide better for us, again without complaining. He actually says he'd rather I be home then be a working mom. He tells me that I'm such a great mom that he doesn't want someone else raising them so that I can work. He just recently was accepted into management at his job and is switching stores and going to third shift (over night) so that he can make more money and be home more for us. He has to drive an hour to and from work every day now and doesn't mind it because he's doing it for his family.
I never knew I could love someone so much and be loved back just as much.