Resurrection Sunday: Math - I Do It My Way

Math I Do it  My Way!

I have a math son.  You know the type.  Absorbs mathematics from the atmosphere.  Leaps tall equations in a single bound…

I knew he was a MathMan when he started adding negative numbers to his addition and subtraction skills.  He was 3.  At 5, I gave him some Cuisanaire Rods – you know, the little colored plastic bars that teach you … something.  I was never sure what.  

After a few minutes alone with his new Edu-toy, my son came back and announced “The evens are the good guys.  The odds are the bad guys, but don’t worry, I only let them have weapons that are divisible by three’. 

In the third grade he did his multiplication homework in base 11…

Let me state right here that he didn’t get any of this from me.  When I was in high school they used to take me in the office and give me OTC tranqs before my algebra tests.  Didn’t help, but what a concept!

So you would think I’d know better to argue with him about arithmetic.  The trouble is, we have a fundamental disagreement about numbers. I think they have lives, have personalities.  My son thinks I’m a nut case.

For instance, I think pi is eerie.  I don’t trust it.  What business does it have turning up in all those equations that clearly have nothing to do with circles?  My son thinks I’m overreacting but then he tells me that e **(Pi * SQRT -1) = -1. This is deeply suspicious.  To say nothing of baffling.  It makes me want to cry.

Negative numbers!  Don’t despair!  Help is available!

And what’s with e?  This is a number invented by a poet, for god’s sake.  It’s bound to be, well, moody.  Inscrutable.

Besides, e is nothing but a Johnny-come-lately upstart.  I’m all for natural logs, don’t get me wrong.  I have a wood stove, after all. But base ten was good enough for my parents, and it’s good enough for me!

And don’t get me started on the SQRT -1 

My kid also believes that no matter what, one and one is always two.  But I think this is digit stereotyping.  It doesn’t take into account the individual nature of the digits in question.  Maybe the ‘one’ in our equation is having an off day.  Maybe, today, this one can only add up to 1.984…I certainly have days like that.  Don’t you? 

To me, saying that one and one is always two is like saying that any man plus any woman equals a happy marriage.  I don’t think so!

My son tells me I’m wrong, that 1 is not and never will be an irrational number no matter how flaky it seems to be.  But what does he know?  He’s never been irrational in his life.

And some numbers are clearly bi-polar in the first place.  The square root of four doesn’t know from moment to moment if it’s positive or negative.  It’s like Schrodinger’s cat.  Could be either way.  So it’s obvious to me that if the SQRT 4 is in a bad mood, it’s going to be negative.  Stands to reason. 

All this explains, at least to me, why my check book never adds up the same way twice.