update on brianne

Pissed is the word.  That is down right crazy bullcrap!  That other kid needs to be thrown off the bus.  His mom can drive him for four days!

What I've learned over the past few years, is schools are getting hesitant to involve the parents in what happens to the other child. Likely, they have called to speak with the other parents, or dealt out some sort of punishment, but they won't necessarily tell you. In some instances, it's a breech of privacy.

I understand all that, i understand the other child is speical needs like brie, but what I don't understand is why is nothing really being done??? I mean he gave her a pretty nasty black eye a few months back

My point is, though, that unless you talk with the other parents, or sit in on the disciplinary discussion, you don't know that nothing is happening.

At the kids school, it's against the administrative rules to even tell the parents which kids are involved if something happens. If Gilly gets hit by another kid at school, they refer to the child as "The other child"- no gender specifics, and certainly no specifics into anything being done to hte child.

You just have to pick your fights. If she's being moved, and the school has said they are dealing with it, you need to trust that they are. Otherwise, you are going to drive yourself crazy over the years with every thing that happens.

Kids are kids, even without special needs, and sometimes, they make bad little kid decisions.

to me the school and bus driver talking to the parents is not correcting this problem, something else needs to be done

That is terrible.  My daughters teacher, the principal, the school counselor and I email on a daily basis NOT just when she is misbehaving.  Since she is ADHD (considered special needs even though she is smartest in her class) they work with me to make sure school is a positive experience for her.  THey have been great - we work together to keep her discipline consistent between home and school.  If something happens that throws her day off balance we let each other know and suggest ways to handle it and so on.  They are an incredibly wonderful school and I am thrilled she goes there.  BELIEVE it or not they are a public school (in a nice neighborhood granted but still public none the less)

ALSO they video tape the bus, school, hallways, playground, gym etc so if ANYTHING happens the principal just calls all parents involved into his office and shows them the video of what happened as he explains how child will be disciplined

tell the school you demand to talk to the parents,, if it happen to them they would want the same respct,,  

It's almost over and nothing would really be accomplished by you personally talking to the parents. Believe me, I've been there.  They usually won't do anything about it unless it comes from a school administrator, and even then, sometimes still nothing happens.

You need the conference with the parents of the kid because your daughter wont be the only one the kid will bite along the line. It's a pity it's happening close to the end of the session.

I hope brianne feels better.

I think you are doing the right thing!

i will wait it out this year, but if it continues next year I am going to demand a lot more

I don't know what else to tell you that someone hasn't already said.  Keep talking with the principal.  If you don't feel you are getting anywhere the next step up would be the superintendent and then the school board.

I wouldn't meet with the parents unless the biting or another incident happens again.  Trying to meet with the parents might make things worse.  But, if it continues then I'd be taking it further with the school.

This should have been taken care of by the district on the first occurrence.

You have two major issues - the biter and the failure of the district.

You need to contact a lawyer. Do your school buses have video cameras?

no they don't have camera's my question is she is only 3 and in a special  needs class due to delays.  I know the other student has delays too, is there anything i can do???

I know someone who had this same thing happen to her daughter. They tried everything possible and no one did anything and nothing worked. So they told their daughter to fight back. I know this is never the right thing to do but she punched the boy and he never touched/hurt her again. If the school won't do anything try haveing her stand up for herself.

Have you discussed these problems with the school board?  It would most likely get a LOT of attention if you wrote a letter to the board detailing the history and asking for their help in resolving the issue.  A subtle hint that you are willing to take this issue as far as need be to protect your child will definitely raise a few eyebrows!

I agree with Heather fully on this!

Anne, I have been in your shoes more than once....this is one of the MANY reasons that we homeschool.  Not because the schools won't do anything, but because, in 99% of the cases, the other parents just plain don't CARE!

For you to push a meeting with the parents of the child would be a grave mistake.  Most likely it would end up in a fight, especially since their child is also special needs, and you don't need that.  You have enough stress in your life, Hon.

Let the school handle it, for they really can't tell you "everything" without breaking the law.  Yes, even the biter kid has rights........as hard as that is to accept and take, it's true. 

See what next year brings, since you are already at the end of this school year.  If things escalate or the kid still bullies Brie, then by all means go to the school board and lodge a formal complaint.  In fact, a letter from an attorney, putting the school on notice might also help.  It's not like it's a name calling incident.  Your child is being bullied, abused and physically injured.  But, to meet with the parents isn't going to accomplish anything except to put them on the defensive and solve nothing.

I would, from now on, follow up any phone call with a letter to whomever you speak to.  Also keep a log of instances; dates, times, incident.  Document everything.  That is the most important.  Document everything; phone calls, letters, names of people you spoke to, resolutions, if any, proposed solutions, etc. 

Good luck and know I'm saying a prayer for you!  Breathe deeply and have a cup of tea!

Also, take photos of any and all injuries and/or damages this child causes. 

you are right, I have been doing as much as i can of documation.  I wish i could home school her, but the program she is in we can't do at home..

something like this happened to me this year with my 9 year old.  Needless to say the TWO SENIORS that tried to bet him up (stepped on his face and private parts) got suspended from school and kicked off the bus.  I told them it happens next year to my kid and I will be getting a lawyer because they would not let me watch the tape of this. 

the school bus driver had NO authority to talk to the parents - all they can do is inform them of the situation.  If you want more than that go to the school  - they won't let you talk to the other partents but they should be able to tell you what is being done to insure your child's safety. - stopping by to PIF

Report it to the police.  That is an assault, and you'll see the parents gets involved quickly.   Enough of that.

just doesn't seem reasonable that you and the parents of the other child cannot meet together with the principal......   pif

agree with Denise.   pif

Bus drivers try to keep order and get the kids safely to school and home, but they can't always discipline and drive safely.  It seems to me that there needs to be a list of rules, including what is NOT acceptable, and the bus driver should go over it with the kids periodically.

I would definitely push for a meeting with the principal and the other child's parents.  Biting and fighting are unacceptable behaviors.  PIF

That is ridicilious!

I can understand your frustration.  Will this same child be on the bus with her next year?  If so then I would push the school to ensure a plan is in place to ensure your daughter's safety next year.  The privacy laws most likely prohibit the school to give you any information on what discipline action is being taken.  Special ed laws differ slightly from state to state but most protect the privacy of the students and their parents.  The school might also be trying to just let the issue die since the end of the year is so close.

PIF

I'd go above the teacher's head and talk to the principal and then the superintendant.  I'd also call the cops and have them talk to the principal.  If these children have special needs that make them violent like that, they need medical treatment and the parents need to be pushed to see they get it.  I can't imagine what kind of special needs problem a child has that would cause violent behavior like that but it's not right, something more needs to be done.  The teacher might be nice to you sounding and acting like she is cooperating and not actually really be doing so.  Been there, wore that teeshirt.

in this day and time you have a right to speak to the parents of the other child for medical information at least... did the bite break the skin?

kids will be kids, BUT there is a limit and this was not the first time it happened, you need to speak to the parents of the other kid

Something needs to be done. That is not ok.

I hope something is done.

How ridiculous!!  Hope things start going right soon!

i hope it gets better hh

Anne ~  Ask the school if you can see any documentation they have of the 2 incidents.  If there is none; you can request something be put in writing.  If they don't document; you can write something yourself.  Keep a copy for yourself.  Send a copy to the Principal; the teacher; the bus driver; the school social worker/psychologist & one to the School Board.  If something happens again, no one can say they didn't know it's a repeat offense.

btw.....i some how got logged onto your name, anne!!!  all above is from nana!!   :)

Don't they have aides on the bus? I would be pissed too PN

i hope things are better next school year other wise i would want to talk to the parents also

I agree with Solskin. I see no reason why you cannot have a sit down. PIF