The sixth one really creeps me out!
Looking for third-degree-burned beauties to satisfy my grow-
ing fetish for wrinkled skin. Have tried elderly women and
bathtub babes, but now only skin grafts get me going.
I've got issues; you've got the cure. I need lots of time
on the couch; you need a sympathetic ear and board certi-
fication. Must not charge by the hour.
Petite mountaineeress seeks tall female for climbing. If
you're under 6 feet tall, averse to ropes, or wary of long
expeditions, don't apply.
Single female who enjoys interpretive dance, wearing black
clothing, and drinking herbal tea seeks standoffish, analy-
tical wimp to create Jell-O sculptures and ballroom dance
in my living room.
Thirty-five-year-old doctor who wants to finally meet a
woman with true inner beauty. Outward appearance not a
factor. Please send X-rays.
You have brown hair and green eyes, with a mole on your left
cheek. I watch you from behind the bushes with my binoculars.
Don't bother to respond; I already know where you live.
Former scientist in search of test subject for study on the
line between pleasure and pain, ecstasy and excruciation.
Those with high pain thresholds ineligible.
Born-again female Pentecostal seeks male acolyte for
meaningful relationship and serpent handling. Speaking in
tongues a plus! God-fearing applicants only.