Bruce Carrie's nephew came to live with us after being kicked out of his home for his bad behavior. He is 18 and knows everything and has no respect for anyone. He would rather drink and smoke than eat.
So living with me comes with some Rules:
He must pay rent
No friends can come over.
No drinking
No Smoking
The house is locked at 11:00 if you are outside you sleep outside.
Your stuff in your own area.
Don't touch my things. ( stay out of my room )
You break it you buy A new one.
Don't let my cats out / The dogs must be on a leash
Be quiet at all times. No radio outside and The TV and Radio volume must be set on less than 12.
Respect others and there stuff, friends and family.
If you can think of any other rules please tell me I could use some help.
Here is Bruce at 8:00 in the morning after not making it home by 11:00. I made him go to work with me and I had him dig a ditch for over 9 hours.
he would dig a bit get sick some and then he would dig some more.
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Comments: 32
First of all, no money means not being able to get alcohol which he's underage to be having anyway. That stuff needs to stop real fast. If he keeps it up, heck, maybe a night in jail is in order to understand you really mean business. If he's getting drunk and smoking, even your porch isn't safe so watch him.
He has been in Jail already
jail
Betty Ford
how about rehab?
been there and done that
Sad. A firm hand is definitely needed--but be sure to show love and respect with it. A household has to have rules to run smoothly--especially when an "outsider" joins it. Best wishes for you and for him to get his life on a new track.
Respect for what can be respected, obviously--even respect for another person as a human being if that is the only level there is now and add as he progresses.
yes yes and yes
Wow, stick to your guns. I think he should know by now you say what you man. He'll learn to respect and appreciate you and hopefully will learn from you. Best of luck!!
respect well lets not talk about that..
Hopefully your rules will have a good effect on him.
I wish
I would probably give him till midnight though.
Hi Jodie. Looks like you have your hands full. I would just caution that "Rules without relationship equals rebellion". Rules might help, and you definitely need them in dealing with this young man, but rules won't solve the underlying problem. Dr. Randy Carlson has some practical step-by-step advice on family issues like the one your going through. You can take the link to his website: www.theintentionallife.com.When you get there, click on "resources" then go to "articles" and "family" for some practical tips.
Kids need rules. Stick to your guns.
I wouldnt undertake this. He needs to hit bottom or he wont get up and stand on his own 2 feet!
You're a tough person to take this on. Stick to your guns. Our kids know this is their home too but they're minors, of course. Everyone has the chance to voice their say, but ultimately we make the rules to try to meet everyone's best interests. In this case it's not even your kid. Wish I had some good advice for you but haven't reached this stage in life yet.
I'll just say watch your back. My parents helped a young man. Got him out of jail . Got him a job .Let him stay in our house till he found himself a place to live.This was a friend of my older brothers. This young man and two friends came to our house late one night . Tried stealing gas out of my dads car. It ended up getting my mother shot in the leg with a shot gun. This just shows what can happen when you help people. I will still go out of my way to help people . Broken down on the road. Or down and out. But I never turn my back. Please take this advice. It's a good thing you are doing .
Yep
Reward him with words when he does the right thing. Positives work!
Your rules are appropriate. It is your home and he is a visitor. He can leave.
Understand that alcohol has great power over a person. Be understanding but firm.
Many find themselves in your position.
Do not help him out of jail, but let him approach you when he is out like at a coffee house.
Expect that he will lie to you.
You are a good man.
I did reward him with a house key and he lost it
well, it is your house and your rules..I never really had rules, just an understanding that I would not do anything drastic...
question, if he is paying rent should he have time restrictions? I mean he could get a room at a hotel and not have to be in by 11....
LOL!
Sounds fair to me...
I think your rules are appropriate.
Your rule's are approprate because it is your home... Your showing this on the net is not!! If anyone who may hire him in the futrue see's this, you just singlehandly saw to it he would not even be considered! =(
good rules. How is he getting booze if he is only 18??
He cleans up after himself - that means laundry, garbage and dirty dishes he generates. You may need additional rules regarding phone usage, tv usage and phone usage. --Joe
Today he is in the WV western regional Jail so ........ I must of messed up
ahhh, the joys of helping an 18 year old with bad behavior......... I cannot add to your rules, if he wants to live with you and it looks like you are giving him a beautiful home, he will follow them rules, otherwise, he has to go.... I am strict, and cannot tolerate disrespect, which is what that is, laying drunk on your porch.... good luck!