Years of hard work all for this momment

Eighteen and a half years ago, the world was blessed with a new bundle of joy. The little boy that I held in my arms radiated love and hope. He was only one small eight pounds and six ounce infant but to me the world lay in my arms. His future was in my hands. It was my responsibility to raise him right and to help him to be who he needed to be.

The first four years were a bit rocky. His interests changed as did he. He went from crying when you took him off of a horse to sitting quietly and watching golf on television. He went from destroying everything around him to enjoying learning. The next few years found him struggling to find enough to learn to keep from getting bored. As the years passed,  he became more and more bored with what he was being taught in school until he finally gave up.

The bright joyful boy turned into a sad withdrawn preteen with few friends. Middle school brought friends that would turn their back on him when he was not doing something for him. He tried to make friends and would be thrilled with having a new friend only to have them go against him in the end. Life rocked on, grades would sink down low only to rise up just enough at the end.

Late into seventh grade, he began to take an interest in sports again. This is the beginnings of his transformation into a teenager. As the years passed, he began driving, got a job, and his love for sports continued to grow. Finally, his year came to him. He played football, kept stats for basketball, and played soccer. He made more friends than he ever had in the past. He continued to work and his social life continued to expand.

As a mom that enjoys having her children around, this was a time of growth for me also. I probably struggled more with the changes than he did. Through it all, I was having my eyes opened to the fact that my feelings of holding a blessing in my arms long ago were coming to pass. He had grown into a young man that any mom could be proud of callling her own. He may not be on the track to graduate with honors, but he had already began college. He worked and went to church every week. He tried to help others and even took on additional stress just to help a friend. He was showing he was becoming a man.

He was growing up and accepting responsibility. He was learning hard lessons about work and money. He was enjoying life with friends. He was understanding that friendship was more than just someone you could hang out with on Friday night. He was learning that with growing older came responsibility.

While facing the greatest night of most teens life, he made a choice that made me proud. Instead of worrying about a trip to the beach the weekend of graduation, he chose to work his normal shift. He had a trip coming up in a few weeks that he felt was more important. His heart was truly in the right place.

The several members of the church he attends would be going to Mexico for a mission trip. He had made the decision to go. Where he would come up with the money to go was anyone's guess. Our budget had recently taken a huge hit when our family size instantly doubled to eight with no additional income. I agreed with a heavy heart. I knew that it would be a struggle. He even agreed to use any money he got for graduation to help cover the cost. Although, I expected little money to come from that source, I agreed taking a total leap of faith.

They say where there is a will there is a way, but I believe when it is meant to happen a way will be found. Things started falling into place. People that I would have never expected to give him anything at all started sending him gifts. Each and every gift was perfect. It was either something he truly needed or money. As the amount started to climb, my belief that a way would be found gained strength.

When the amount needed to be paid to the church was reached, I knew that there was still a need for suitable clothing, toiletries, and spending money. I just kept reminding myself that it would come. One way or another it would come.

Although it may seem that I am digressing, in fact, this post is right on track. You see, when the night of graduation came, things were a bit scattered. My dad was sick, so he may not make it. My mom and her boyfriend were fighting so she would not attend. My brother in law was in another state on a vacation, so he would not attend. My daughter was gone in the opposite direction for a mini trip of her own. That left my husband, my youngest son, and myself.

We got there, but there were no seats available. We ended up not being able to even hear most of what was said. The only glimpse of him during graduation was as he walked past us quickly on his way onto the field. After the ceremony was over, my son's eyes were sparkling with excitement. He was so bubbling over with excitement that he could not even stand still for pictures. He was off and running to have fun with his friends. We were given a quick hug and a brief glimpse of his backside.

On the way home, I fought back tears as I thought about the struggles over the years to get to this night. After all of that, it was over within minutes. It almost felt like a letdown. We all had worked so hard to get him to this night. Years of struggle were dismissed as being unimportant.

Truth be told, they are unimportant. So often, it seems that we have to work so hard to get somewhere only to find that when we get there, that it was not as big of a deal as we had thought. That does not mean that the struggles were not worth it. We learned as much or more from the struggles as we learned from reaching our goal.

Reaching that goal is not the end, it is only the beginning. We worked hard to raise a son, not for that one night of graduation but to be the best man he can become. By making the choice to spend his graduation money towards helping others, he proved that his heart is in the right place. He proved that he is accepting responsibility for doing all he can for this world that we all live in.

His high school life is over, but his life is only beginning. Instead of feeling sorrow over losing my little boy, I feel blessed that I have been given the opportunity to watch him grow into a young man of character and heart. In just over two weeks from graduation, he will be in another country helping those in need. That will be just another step down the road of becoming the man he is meant to become. From where I'm sitting, the road looks like it may have a few bumps here and there, but in the end, it will end up being a blessing to those that share the road with him. All those years of hard work has brought us to this momment when we realize that although there is more hard work in front of us, it will definitely be worth it!