A few days ago, I posted the poem "Warning" by Jenny Joseph, as a tribute to a dear friend here. Someone in the comments stated that men need something comparable.
Just remember, be careful what you ask for:
When I am an old man I shall wear plaid shorts
With sandals and black socks
Which doesn't suit anyone
I shall spend my pension on golf carts and Porches
And young women who wouldn't look at me otherwise
I will rail at the nightly news
And curse small children who walk on my lawn
I will move to Florida or Arizona
And drive too slowly while uttering "What?"
I shall eat prunes and spit the pits
And wear terrible shirts with Hawaiian prints
And eat at the MCL twice a week
Telling the grandchildren I am too poor for steak
I will regale all who will listen with tales of my youth
Over and over and over ad nauseum
But for now, I shall go on living a suburban life
Pay the mortgage, and set good examples
Have friends to dinner and not curse about it till they have gone
But maybe, just maybe, I should start practicing now
So people will not be so shocked when suddenly I
am old and wearing sandals and black socks.
Sorry, the wife says "Not a chance, buddy, now go mow the lawn."
rate
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 39
too cute and sooooo true!
yep yep yep lol
that is great! I like it.
LOL That is the truth
And Jack LaLanne is 94 soon to be 95, a life well lived. I believe we can truly stave off the effects of confusion and elderliness for many more years, simply by eating fresh fruits and veggies, mostly non cooked and eating very little processed food and daily, vigorous exercise.
I am working on the next 30 years or 40, if I am careful and a bit lucky.
I'm with you on the processed foods and fresh things. Exercise, not so much..lol
exercise is the greatest life giving force we have. exercise greatly postpones heart disease, diabetes, cancer and alzheimer'.s Get some good walking shoes (if you don't have good walking sneaks already) and walk for an hour a day, then pick up the pace. Headphones or iPod really help. Start with mild stretches and mild calisthenics every day and in a few months you will feel like doing more.
If the gym is near your or if it is not, a stationery bicycle or a treadmill is great to begin, too.
Weight machines are great because one can exercise one muscle group at a time, exercising the lazy way... but it is exercise.
I have seen women 300 pounds get to a slim 120 body builder. Took about 2 oe 3 years, but it was a poster for my Gym.
Exercise reduces the chance of getting cancer by about 60 percent, same with heart disease and COPD and diabetes. At least by these amounts.
My husband is 59 this week and his bones and heart and muscles are that of a 35 year old man.
My icon is when I was 29 and exercising about 20 hours a week, ouch ouch, and eating mostly salads.
I am aching a lot these days with the move because I am exercising to hip hop as I pack....in lieu of running and the gym until we finish moving in a few days. Unpacking will be more leisurely.
My LDS relatives who avoid caffeine, cigs and booze live much longer than my non LDS or former LDS relatives who do imbibe those things. My relatives who exercise a ton are doing great.
I have a first cousin who stopped feeling sorry for herself, bought a good bicycle, used it a lot then went cross country last year. She had lost 70 pounds. This year, she again went cross country for the Susan G. Komen foundation. She had lost another 30 pounds. She is in her 60s and looks like she is about 40.
blah blah blah.....
ah I have to chuckle...try it, you will like it.
Mikey likes it.............
I knew there was a reason I always wanted to smack that kid!
Thank you for the smile~reminds me a bit of my favorite curmudgeon ;)
not our Doc? No...No way...huh uh!!!
Thank you for posting to GutterGirls~
I checked it out to see how YOU were going to turn into an old man.
Rob,
You know that would take some major surgery, not to mention all those pesky hormone shots...Sorry, but I prefer my participles NOT dangling..lol
Lol, too funny
He'd better paint the fence and take out the trash too. Lol.
tell it, sister!!!
My brother refuses yardwork. His wife is too softhearted I guess. Of course he had to most of it when we were kids, till he refused, & I got stuck with it. What a ya do when then plant their feet? Oh well.
I find that taking away their toys works well...by that I am meaning SEX!!!!
I'll let Rhonda, his wife , handle that one.
way too cute
I love it!
When did cute and studly become a grumpy old man?!!
Um...whom are you referring to, Georgiana?
almost ALL of them! LOL
Some of them have to turn into "Charley Weaver and Mr. Magoo, ya know. They can't all grow into Sean Connery.... but Lordy, we can hope...
Ah yes!!
great
Great reflection on old age!!
I shall join gather to while away my time
Reading stories and commenting on poems sublime
In the evening of my life when the sun sets,
And darkness fills the space
I shall transcend to my new abode above,
And reflect on my life spent with grace.
Very funny, Donna. The comments were hilarious. :)
Glad you liked it Barb. I thought the comments were a hoot myself.
Hmmm, I wonder who that someone was?
This was really good, Sweetie.
And, Yes, wearing sandals with black socks brings a very certain person to my mind.
smoooooooooooooooches
Hmmmm...I have no idea whom that could possibly be....(snicker, snicker)