The society we live in is very different from the 1950s where the mother could stay home and the father was the sole income provider. It is the accepted normal for both parents to work. When both parents work or if the household is run by a single parent it is often hard to juggle work life and family life. Often time one is done successfully at the expense of the other. It is necessary to provide a balance of both so that your children grow up happy and healthy. Remember paternal DNA testing, or Parental DNA testing can prove that you are the biological parent of your child or children but love and nurturing will prove that you are a good parent.
Your children’s mental, emotional and physical needs must be met. Of course the physical needs require that they have food, shelter and clothing to wear among other things. This means that even though you might want to spend all day at home with your children, it may not be possible, especially if you are a single parent. Most people have to work to maintain the standard of living they desire.
In many working establishments today DNA testing is required from steroid to drug and alcohol testing. If you are a parent who misses work often because you want to stay at home and drink or take illegal drugs, you have to realize you are not going to keep your job very long and your children will suffer for it. Besides not being able to provide for their monetary needs you are setting a very bad example for them. Children learn from their parents, they learn from every situation they see around them.
On the other hand you might be a workaholic and you spend more time at work than at home. Although the money is good, think about if you really need all that money? Yes it would be nice to give your children everything they would ever ask for and more but is it necessary? Your children need to be with you to share activities with you, to learn from you, to laugh and joke with you. Their mental health is so fragile and the love and time a parent spends with them is just as important as all the things that money can buy.
Balancing work and home is not easy; one of the factors to consider is babysitting. Every parent must decide whether to have family or another individual stay at home with the children or, if they should send the children to a daycare. If you choose a daycare center make sure the employees have undergone DNA testing for drug and alcohol abuse. Similarly, if you go through a qualified domestic childcare agency for home babysitting, you can also inquire that all drug and alcohol testing has been taking care of before that individual is sent to your home. On the other hand, if you select your own babysitter you can ask her to supply a hair DNA sample for drug testing. Home DNA tests are available for drug and alcohol testing and are simply to do. Isn’t a DNA test worth the time to give you peace of mind?
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Comments: 45
Interesting
thanks Nancy
Most people could live quite nicely on a much smaller income if they wanted to. We don't HAVE to keep up with the Jonses.
I agree, Thomas. We did without many things so that I could be home to raise our children. I drove the same station wagon for 16 years and we did not have season tickets to theaters or take cruises. We went to the local high school plays, dollar movies and rented a cottage for vacations. I would do it that way again. I would have missed so much if I had worked away from home.
that is providing the sole income earner has a good job, there are many people making minimum wage and need that second income,
Minimum wage in the United States is the height of luxury in many other parts of the world. There are people living in mud huts without heat, electricity, or running water, living on boiled grass, while we complain because we only have two cars. There is something terribly wrong here.
Thank you for posting.
norene
I am on SSDI so I am home all the time for my daughter...sometimes it gets pretty tough between my 10 year old and me. She is angry because she has no father in her life. He quit paying his support and contact over a year ago. I really try to be patient with her because I know she wants a normal home. Maybe someday!
still you need to discipline, I know it is hard on a child, I had no parents just a grandparent, and I was a single mother but without discipline it gets worse, believe me.
I'm retired on SSI, so a lot of that does not pertain to me since I have not had children. My mother was often the sole breadwinner as dad would sit like a lump in front o the TV, or go to bars to sit in front of theirs and bar talk while drinking beer.
He was not an actual drunk or alcaholic as far as I know. He just avoided responsibilities and would suddenly quit his job for some excuse, yet mom still had to also do all the nurturing duties as well.
There was a news article on Channel 4, KOMO TV from Seattle the other day.
More and more men are now taking over the nurturing side of panenting. I think this is a wonderful thing.
As more women are able to find jobs when their husbands can't, the entire family core is growing more diverse.
yes it is a good thing the genre roles don't really pertain anymore most families do what they need to do to survive
A very good article Carol and I appreciate so much Thomas comment. What Thomas says I started to apply it in my life about 12 years ago and it is possible. It also gives you a sense of who you are and what life, family and friends really means.
Thank you
I was a single parent I had to work or starve on welfare
You have an interesting article.
thank you |Renee
I was mostly a stay home mom. When I did work, I worked a different shift than my husband's, so that one of us was home with the kids at all times. It really is possible to be happy with less and I think lots of people will find that out as the economy gets worse.
I was a single parent I had to work or starve on welfare
Carol, I admire you and all single moms. I've known some very strong women who were single moms. I've taken care of their kids when their babysitters didn't show up. I've seen close up how hard it is for them to support their families and was glad to be able to help.
I worked only when it was financially necessary. I am blessed to have a husband who puts family first. Raising children together was joyful, but not easy. If it's tough with two parents, it's twice as hard for one.
yep it is really hard and I wouldn't wish it on anyone,
most single women and their children live well below the poverty line, very few working women with good incomes opt for single parenting, even when my husband was around, we would have had to work, one had one child would never wanted another, we couldn't afford it,
my husband's salary paid for groceries and babysetting, mine paid the rent and bils,
if I didn't work it would have been a choice, do we live somwhere or do we eat.
Good article, Carol! It is definitely a balancing act that is hard to pull off.
Yes that act is extremely difficult
The balance is hard but any good parent will figure out how to make it work. Granted, it may take awhile. I have had to find the balance of being a single parent and attending law school full-time. It was hard but my children are the most important people to me and I will do whatever it takes...if only all parents valued their children
I agree Tee I was a single Parent, too first I worked at deadend jobs and then I went to university, only then I got sick and now I am disabled. We never know how our lives will turn out for us, unfortunately. All we can do is do what we think is best for ourselves and our kids.
I too am a single parent and I am disabled. There really feels like there is no end to the "hard days" I can only hope my kids listen to my prompting when I say," you go to college and the doctors so you dont end up like me!"
my kid never learned from my example, he refused to go to school while I loved school, I went to university he never even finished high school
It is sad at least one parent can't stay home with their children.
yes it is sad and sometimes there is only one parent, and that parent has to work or starve on welfare, I was a single parent and I know how hard it is.
I don't believe that work and homelife of can equally be divided without losing face on eather end.
when you are put in that sitution you have to try, to balance it out, as I have pointed out in the article
18 years ago I gave up my job to become a stay at home mom. It was not a choice I wanted but one more of necessity. The cost of daycare for five children was far beyond what my salary could cover. I know my children benefitted from me being home with them but I should have planned better for the empty nest syndrome. Now they are independent and I have no means of support other than my husband. Staying at home does have it's drawbacks. The stay at home can also get burnt out easily as their needs are often overlooked. Since I never went anyway and did not have work to dress for my clothing needs were often shrugged off to meet the needs of my husband and children. It led to my worsening depression and low self esteem.
yep each system has it is good points and drawbacks, if only there was a perfect world lol,
I keep wishing but it never happens.
Finding someone to babysit is hard enough when you're kid is normal. But, throw in two kids that have special needs, and it makes it much harder.
My older son has autism, and my younger one has a severe speech delay. I truly worry about anyone that will watch them. Mostly I stay home instead of working Monday through Friday. My husband watches them on the weekends while I work. And, it really seems to be a good arrangement for us.
if it is good for you that is all that matter, you have found a balancing act that works for you.
I was lucky when Scott was small. He went to a daycare that was very good. Then because of money we changed and used a babysitter. She was recommended by our family Dr.
in quebec we have 7.00 dollar a day daycares, they are the cheapist
I had the best of both worlds, having my children during the fifities, and in one in 1961, I stayed at home as there was ten years between my first and my fourth, and then I stayed home until she was six, so had about 16 years of stay at home Mom, and then a career that lasted another 24 years until I retired. But back in those days, you cooked all fresh meals, baked and had lots of left overers, I also sewed all my children's clothes, and my own. I loved every minute of my life, and I wish more mother's can do it that way, but now with the way things are, I think it is almost impossible to raise kids with just one salary with out someone suffering, maybe the parent the most, Kids are very adaptable, never knew I was a poor kid, my father spent most of my life in a veterans hospital and we got aid to dependent children, I think that is what they called it then, and when I was 14 , my mother went to school to learn a skill, and went back to work, we also had my father's mother living with us, so we never lost one on one care, I agree Carol, your early years help make the rest of your life so much easier, if there is care and love,
well hon, there was care and love in my home with my grandmother but my adult years were not any easier for me, I may not have had the worst life in the world but it was never easy and til to day I still struggle.
It is very difficult to find that balance, usually daycares were useless, I would walk in unannounced, early and my kids were dirty and crying and no one paying attention, I found a babysitter, but, my youngest son, really was a handful to put it mildly, luckily I found a job, that let me flex my schedule and now the kids are almost grown, they are going to be ok, raised up the way they were,they are choosing their own paths, not following mine, I went to a community college, with a baby on my hip and one in my belly and then started working, sometimes, it was difficult, I even had to take the kids with me a couple of times to work or school, of course I got in trouble, but it gave me a day or two to find someone else, it was tough, but, I did it, and I feel like my children should have learned a LOT from me, and not do what they are doing now, I put them first, and tried to show them the right way and not go thru what I did, but, alas, children will do, whatever they want to do, I pray each day that theywill wake up, but, it seems like the kids today, have no respect, no goals,no motivation.... maybe its just where I live....... great article
teenagers are at the most difficult stage of life, they are in the rebellion, rejecting and questioning everything stage of life. Most turn out just great when they had great moms like you.
I would say that most people have to work to SURVIVE. Most of us will work but will never actually maintain the lifestyle we desire.
I second that
yep work is not a luxury anymore, it is a necessity just to put food on the table,
thanks
you are welcome