by Ina ♥ Tagline Free Since September '09 ♥
Member since:
September 6, 2006

Saturday WE...A Universal Experience

May 14, 2009 09:59 AM EDT
views: 165 | comments: 112

 

For Saturday’s WE exercise: a universal experience.

 

 

 

We all have an opinion about it. Marriages have nearly been destroyed by it. I’ve heard it referred to as the last straw in some relationships that do end. Most of us are annoyed by its improper placement. The vast majority will usually admit to having very strong opinions on what is the correct way, although there is no documented truly, proper installation guide. Many of us will actually take the time to correct a bad placement, even if we’re not in our own homes. To many, there’s little that’s more grating on the nerves than to find this improperly installed, after repeatedly asking someone in our lives to do it the right way.

 

I’m talking about which way the toilet paper unrolls.

 

In my single days, I frequently felt relief when a relationship ended just so I wouldn’t have to look at his stupid toilet paper installation any more. My husband said that in the thirty years he spent with his late wife, they never spoke of this issue, not even once. But, for thirty years, they would each change it to unroll the way that they felt it was supposed to be, every time they went to the bathroom. Every. Tiime. For thirty years. Without speaking a word about it.



*shudders*



I’ll even admit to flipping a roll at someone’s house, especially if I’m consuming large amounts of fluid while I’m there. If I have to use their bathroom repeatedly, I’m not going to be severely annoyed. I’ve tutored select housekeeping staff at work on the correct unrollination direction. They’ve been very cooperative with me over this. Perhaps it’s because I’m the one with the syringes.

 

My husband and I knew we were perfect for each other after our first visit to the bathrooms in our respective homes. Bliss! No more struggles or secret resentments! No more askance looks or false reasons to try to end a relationship! We were both aware that the proper way to put toilet paper on the cylinder was so that it would unroll over the top.

 

I’m sure you all agree with us.


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Comments: 112

Kris M. May 14, 2009, 10:03am EDT
I saw John Hiatt in concert a few years ago, and he told a similar story: he'd slap the roll up there any which way, and his wife would turn it so the paper is on the "over" side. Then all of a sudden it seemed it was always "under," and after several years of marriage, he asked his wife why she'd changed it. She said, "It's always been this way."

He said he could feel the earth shake under his floor.
Duckie 1 May 14, 2009, 10:04am EDT
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Duckie 1 May 14, 2009, 10:08am EDT
I didn't mean to yell... but I agree. Over the top. Only. Always. No discussion. Period.
Kris, that's hysterical!

Duckie, I knew everyone would agree! I mean, it's the only sensible way, isn't it?
~♥~ Kim ~♥~ May 14, 2009, 10:19am EDT
LOL I'm an over Photobucket....my SO was an under. He is NOW an over. ;) The lady I sit for is an Under...which bugs me... Photobucket
Marilee C. May 14, 2009, 10:19am EDT
I agree. Can I be your wife, too?
heather "chickenlips" g. May 14, 2009, 10:23am EDT
Yay! I agree..OVER!!

Have a great day, Ina :~)
Roy ☯ Hilbinger May 14, 2009, 10:26am EDT
Another over. How the hell to you tear off a sheet when it's under? It doesn't make sense!
Kim ~ See? It was a good reason to end the relationship, wasn't it?

Marilee ~ I thought you guys stopped practicing polygamy a long time ago. But, just in case you haven't, I'd be happy to accept your hand in marriage.

heather ~ Another voice of reason!

Roy ~ That's it exactly! You end up tearing off way more than you need when you have to pull it from the back.
I'm happy to see we're unanimous, so far. At least I think so.

6 overs, and Kris remains uncommitted.
Sara S. May 14, 2009, 10:50am EDT
Duh! Over is the only way that makes any sense. Mr. Mac & I argued about this for the first year or two we dated. Needless to say, he is now an over.
Thanks, Sara!

7 overs and 1 uncommitted.

We shall rule the world!
You makes sense, woman. Wil and I had no problems with how the paper unrolled, just over what brand to buy. I told him if it mattered that much, he could buy all the toilet paper, but if we ran out, he'd have to be happy with whatever I came home with.
Vicky Duggins May 14, 2009, 11:06am EDT
I bought this huge package of Charmin the other day. The package said "Big Rolls." Okay. I got one out to put it in the roller, and it's too friggin' big by half to fit on the spindle. So we have a roll sitting on the back of the toilet, which to me looks crappy (pun intended) waiting until the roll gets small enough to put on the roller thing. I have no idea how Van would hang the toilet paper cause he's never done it.
What are you people thinking?! UNDER, dammit.

(Now, on a less serious note, you know what I love about you? You took the "Universal Experience" prompt and you hit it, even without my spoon feeding anything. You didn't get all bellicose, you didn't decide to play on peoples' emotions. You just found something anyone can relate to and wrote about it. Thank you. TWO Gold Stars.)

But srsly -- your TP should go under -- less chance of an out of control roll that way.
Janna R. May 14, 2009, 11:12am EDT
----> under
Tracy Fabre May 14, 2009, 11:22am EDT
Over. Over. Over.

Over is the only way
Over just improves the day...
sound off... sound off...
8 overs, 2 uncommiteds and 2 unders.

This could be the next Gather War!
9 overs, 2 uncommiteds and 2 unders.

It looks like a landslide, ladies and gentlemen!
Clifford N. May 14, 2009, 11:23am EDT
Aren't we odd creatures? We settled this issue at our place without a word about it many years ago. I do not care which way the roll is turned as long as it is in the dispenser. My wife, when we first married, would take it out of the dispenser after I had installed it and place it where she could reach it and use it by wrapping it around her hand and tearing it off with the other. I really did not understand this until I spent some time with her mother who did the same thing.

So, ever since, if I happen to be replacing the roll in the dispenser, always check to see that there is a loose roll nearby.

What bugs me is the waste. I am a sheet counter and my wife never does that. As a result, she uses 10 times the tissue needed to do the job. But, alas, I could not understand this till I took note of her mother's practice.

LESSON:
We need to somehow find out how to negate the influence of mothers. They really do control our lives.
EM JAY ~ When I moved in here, I had to relinquish my uber-cheap Scott tissue in favor of his need to have his tushie caressed. I don't think it was a bad trade.

Vicky ~ Kevin can be so anal (pun intended) about the roll being replaced, that he puts a fresh roll on top of the old roll, so one never has to reach for relief.

Joy ~ Thanks for the kudos. It just came to me while I was reading somewhere, deep in thought.

Thanks for your vote, Janna!

Tracy ~ Thank you for taking sides in the Great Gather War of Ought Nine!
Sarah A. (I KANZ B UH RITUR!!!!) , YEZ!! May 14, 2009, 11:27am EDT
Over - so you can get your hand behind it in the dark...

I have a wonderful TP roll that you just slide the roll on. It doesn't come off because you pull from the other side. Though I kinda miss all the exercise I used to get chasing the little spring thing around the room...
Since I am the only one in this household who actually puts it on the spindle, it is over. I grew up in an under house and it never made sense to me.
Clifford ~ It makes me sad to think about how I want to not be like my own mother, but that I was (of course!) a perfect mother to my own. I really can't laugh when I think about all the things they're going to hate me for.

I'll count your vote as an uncommited.
11 overs, 3 uncommiteds, 2 unders.

This is just earth shaking, people!
Sarah ~ I've had some Gather friends over who have lovely stories about my tp dispenser rolling away from them during their visits.

Grems ~ See? It is possible to break away from the way we were raised!
it's a landslide Ina, no war here.
Now if I could actually teach some of them in my household to actually put the TP on the roller I would be an even happier camper.
donna f. May 14, 2009, 11:34am EDT
I was raised an over person, but I have become an under person. We have a kitty which thinks it is great fun to bat at the roll when it is installed in the "over" position, and it was getting expensive to replace a couple rolls a day. He can't unroll it in the under position.
"the proper way to put toilet paper on the cylinder was so that it would unroll over the top."

Of course.
YES! Janna my sista from a different mista! I saw god's comment in the feed and thought I was going to have to change my ways, but you saved me, Janna!

*whew*
This could be the next Gather War!

It would make as much sense to argue about this as it does to argue about all the other crap (pardon the pun,) that springs up...
Aniko     May 14, 2009, 11:56am EDT
In further evidence that I was not meant to be born on this planet, I couldn't care less, and I won't notice which way it is. I don't even care if it's in the dispenser or standing around free. I do, however, notice if none is available. (But since I walk around with industrial quantities of facial tissue, this rarely counts as a major tragedy.)
And god steps in with a vote of over which cancels out donna's wishy washy under vote.

Yes, let it be said here, first. We have god on our side.
Joy, I think you've given me an evil idea.

First, I have to find time.
The score is 12 overs, 4 uncommiteds, and 3 unders.

We shall inherit the earth!
Aniko is a wise woman to be sure she has enough of some type of tissue to avert an emergency.
<-- Proud to be the inspiration for Evil.

It's sort of my "thing," apparently. I feel just like I just discovered my "Special Purpose." ;-)
donna f. May 14, 2009, 12:06pm EDT
Ina,
Wishy washy? Hey, sugar, you buy my TP, or take the damned cat off my hands, and I'll be an over in a heartbeat.
Ah, yes! My bait has been taken and the war begins!
Dame Ruth, Chief Executive Elitist D. May 14, 2009, 12:16pm EDT
Hold everything! My toilet paper always has and always will roll UNDER!! Much easier to tear off a piece (always a major consideration) than when it comes flying over the top. Sorry to bust your bubble, Inapie...but that's the way I roll.
Dame Ruth, Chief Executive Elitist D. May 14, 2009, 12:18pm EDT
Thank you for posting to this group whose only purpose is to thank you for posting to this group, anyhow.
Janna R. May 14, 2009, 12:18pm EDT
"I don't even care if it's in the dispenser or standing around free."

Me either (and sometimes I'm lazy about installing it), but if it's installed, I like it under.

I also always have tissues. I can't function without them.
Kimberly Ripley May 14, 2009, 12:21pm EDT
I'm an "under" person, Ina. And to think...we got along so well.
Oh, Ruth! I'm devastated to hear this news! I'm canceling my visit in the spring. I want my seeds back. ALL of them. ;)

Kim, you just wipe that smile off of your face!
12 over, 4 don't give a shit and 5 under.

This might get close!
YES! Ruth and Kimberly join the Under-Achievers!

WOO-HOO! Inyerface!
Inyerface takes on a really disgusting image, given the subject matter.
Kris M. May 14, 2009, 12:39pm EDT
In case I didn't mention it, I am definitely an Over and John is a Doesn't Notice.
Woo hoo! Kris jumps to the side of righteousness!

So we're 14 overs, 3 don't cares and 5 unders.

We'll still rule the world.
Sara S. May 14, 2009, 12:54pm EDT
Oops, comment edited for HTML gone bad.

I'm curious about those who chose under to prevent feline-induced unrollage. If it weren't for the cat, would they still roll under?

I guess I'm lucky that the TP is the only thing in the house with which my Tailed Terror does NOT interfere. If he did, I would seriously consider changing my ways to keep the roll tidy. However, each time I replaced a roll, I would know in my heart I was hanging it wrong.
Sue * May 14, 2009, 1:05pm EDT
I'm an over (of course) and considering that I replace the toilet paper in the upstairs bathrooms, they are both over. As for hubby's bathroom, which is downstairs (and the largest, nicest in the house) I have no idea what he does. I do not enter that domain, he even cleans it weekly. I simply purchase the paper and place in on the stairs.
Righteousness?!

I think not.
Peregrine * May 14, 2009, 1:36pm EDT
For the love of GOD and all that is good and pure and true.....over. It must go over.
Sara, I'd rather keep a spray bottle in the bathroom and squirt the cat every time he walked in. I think he'd eventually learn that that was one thing that was off limits, no matter what!

Sue, I knew you'd be on the side of all that was good, clean and holy.

Joy, give it up! No way will your side win this battle! You may have Dame Ruth on your side, but we have god.

Peregrine, thank you for helping us point out truth, justice and the American way!
We're 16 over, 3 too lazy to care and 5 unders.

Stay tuned for the next chapter.
I need a little while to come up with a clever retort.

What say we meet back here around 3-ish, my time, and see if I've come up with anything?
Vicky Duggins May 14, 2009, 2:36pm EDT
I don't want to leave the impression that if the roll on the roller is used up, that Van just doesn't use any toilet paper - he gets out a new roll and puts it on top of the tank. Then he turns on the overhead stink-o-later, cause if he used paper, the stink-o-later needs to be used, if you get my drift.
Joy, I'll just go dig in the dirt some more while I wait for your clever answer.

Drift gotten, Vicky.
CC Miranda the artrat (or am i?) May 14, 2009, 3:42pm EDT
after living with a 30+ lb. Maine Coon that loved to unroll the toilet paper and drag it around the house, i learned that you can't put it over the top like that as it just makes it that much simpler for him to do it. after having had to spend 4 x the amount of money on toilet paper that i would usually spend in a month, i just gave in and placed the rolls the "wrong" way to win that battle. and win i did.
CC Miranda the artrat (or am i?) May 14, 2009, 3:43pm EDT
"Sara, I'd rather keep a spray bottle in the bathroom and squirt the cat every time he walked in. I think he'd eventually learn that that was one thing that was off limits, no matter what!"

unless you have a Maine Coon that happens to like being sprayed by water.
So, CC joins the ranks of the wishy washy due to having cats.

I'll concede that point to you just because your cat likes to be sprayed. I used to have one like that. She didn't live with us very long.
So, at 4:36 pm, we're 16 over, 3 don't care and 6 unders.

I'm still calling a victory for my team.
I am now going to bring in all my alters to vote for under... hang on.
sharon SugarMomma is a wise woman, May 14, 2009, 4:57pm EDT
I'm an over and a Scott tissue woman. Rock and roll!
Aniko     May 14, 2009, 4:58pm EDT
Re: Grems's comment @12:04pm EDT

No, Aniko is just allergic to just about everything that may be in the air--dust, pollen, perfume, smoke--possibly even air itself.

In any case, any conclusion that puts "Aniko" and "wise" in the same sentence should be viewed with the same skepticism as a calculation that gets a negative value for the weight of an object or suggests the Earth is hollow and we're on the inside. The safe assumption is that someone must have flipped a sign somewhere...
that would be the sign for up or down Aniko
Roy ☯ Hilbinger May 14, 2009, 5:41pm EDT
Uh, for those who think rolling under makes you immune to cats and other critters unrolling the roll, check this out. 'Tain't so, folks, 'tain't so!
CC Miranda the artrat (or am i?) May 14, 2009, 5:55pm EDT
i know it doesn't make us immune to all cat's that unroll, just makes the cats have to think that much harder on how to do it. i prefer not to make it easy on the fuzzy things.
La Gatita . May 14, 2009, 6:01pm EDT
I wish the humans would put it over. Sometimes I eat a little of the toilet paper.
Boo C. May 14, 2009, 6:04pm EDT
I only play with the tp if it is on the floor. I do not like the bathroom. I will steal tissue out of the box tho and I will eat some of it.

Hi La Gatita
Aniko     May 14, 2009, 6:42pm EDT
Perhaps, though, unlike positive and negative, up and down would have many competing directions to deal with, which makes everything even messier.

I think it needs to be pointed out that this piece by Ina is pure satirical genius, competing with revered classics like's Jonathan's Swift's Lilliputians and their Little- vs. Big-Endian debates.
Peregrine * May 14, 2009, 7:10pm EDT
The naturally inclined unders might be demonstrating a need to contain their anxiety about life, trying to control the natural tendency of the roll to spin and produce more than their own immediate need, thereby reminding them of their own insignificant role in the tumultuous chaos that is life.
We're 17 over, 3 don't care and 6 under.

You guys have me rolling!

Peregrine, I'm hysterical over your analysis!

Aniko, I'm honored by your comparison, although I know I'm totally unworthy. This all came to me while I was sitting on the can. Srsly.
Aniko     May 14, 2009, 7:24pm EDT
Roy--that critter has opposable thumbs and a more or less established bipedal upright posture, both of which will significantly increase rolling potential, I think.
Roy, your link just proves our point, doesn't it? We are indeed a wise bunch, us over-achievers!

La Gatita, you look just like I think my Hitch would have looked had I known him as a kitten, rather than rescued him from a life of being a garage cat.
Aniko     May 14, 2009, 7:28pm EDT
I'm pretty sure Swift came up with his satire while cracking open a soft-boiled egg and getting goo all over his clothes.
Somewhere along the way, somebody started trotting (pardon the pun) out the pig words and now I'm all confused. But my TP proudly remains UNDER. :P
lynn a. May 14, 2009, 10:13pm EDT
LOL! I do agree with you on this, though there's no struggle here over how to place it. No one seems to care but me. This is probably a good thing.
flit . May 15, 2009, 8:03am EDT
over...and no cheap TP allowed in my house - in other words, I buy it
Thanks to lynn and flit, the overs have a landslide victory with 19 votes! 3 remain undecided and 6 are under achievers. (Thanks for that, Joy!)
E. M. May 15, 2009, 9:21am EDT
hah! Love it Ina. (We gutted our bathroom and just never got around to putting a toilet paper roll thingy back on the wall. Problem solved).
Thanks for weighing in, E.!

We're at 19 overs, 4 don't give a shits and 6 unders. It's clear that at this point, the unders just can't make a come back.
CC Miranda the artrat (or am i?) May 15, 2009, 4:41pm EDT
hahaha Ina said rolling on an article about TP
Marianne M. May 15, 2009, 7:52pm EDT
Oh absolutely, Ina ... it must unroll over the top. Thank goodness we agree!!!

I have a friend who likes to fold the end into a fancy little point. Whenever I use her powder room, I think I'm in a hotel ...
CC, I also said some people don't give a shit.

Marianne, I mentioned the pointy little things on one of my dabbles from vacation. I hate the thought of wiping my parts with things that other people have touched and actually folded. What's the...um...point?
We're now at 20,4 and 6.

We not only rule the world, but the universe!
Sarah A. (I KANZ B UH RITUR!!!!) , YEZ!! May 15, 2009, 8:32pm EDT
Ina - *you* rule!
Sarah, if that's so, you're definitely a part of my court!
Sarah A. (I KANZ B UH RITUR!!!!) , YEZ!! May 16, 2009, 9:41am EDT
I should mention for the cat owner that since Race and Riot arrived in my life I keep my tp in a nifty little double-sided basket thingie that sits on the toilet tank. They're too lazy to open the lid, so I no longer have festoons of white all over the house. I cannot, however leave any tp or paper towels, even shrink wrapped anywhere the cats can find them - this means I can never remember where I put them either. One disadvantage to living alone is that when you yell that you need TP *now*... no one answers.
Lee P. May 16, 2009, 11:16am EDT
What a wonderful article. A Universal experience that touches all American homes. I say American because some countries don't use toilet paper...ewwwwww.

Before retirement I used to change the roll of the toilet paper in the ladies bathroom to an "over" roll. (It was a small office with only a few ladies) One lady who loved to tease me would change it to an under roll. LOL This went on for years with never a word being spoken about it. When I retired she told me that she would miss the toilet paper feud. LOL
Joyce ("Site Cheshire Kitteh") L. May 16, 2009, 3:23pm EDT
Over, with both edges tucked evenly under for easy grasping; should look like the top of an envelop. I'm a slave driver...
And the votes keep pouring in, folks!

We're officially at 22, 4 and 6. I think it's time to do our victory dance!
Dame Ruth, Chief Executive Elitist D. May 16, 2009, 5:52pm EDT
Sister Mary Whiteglove does that pointy-thingie in her guest bathroom. An out-of-town visitor confided to me that she was unable to exit the the damn place because she didn't know what to do about the toilet paper...she thought if she used it, it would spoil the effect and if she re-pointed the roll, my sister would think she hadn't used it at all. So much for making your guests comfortable.
I can see where that would be a problem. Personally, I don't understand the pointy thingies. Don't touch my TP! It's going to touch my junk, and I don't want hands that are unknown to me touching anything that is known to me. At least, I've felt that way for at least the last 15 years.

Bottom line? (Pun intended.) Don't fuck with the TP.
Under Achievers of the world -- UNITE! (Bit do so on Monday, I'm taking Sunday off from this place...)

And above, I meand BIG words, not pig words... I r smrt.
And I even meant meant above. This is what I get for typing by twilight on my deck... *sigh*
I'm sharpening my snark.
Phyllis R. May 18, 2009, 4:39pm EDT
I guess I should have read this article first....but oh well!!!!!
Still, I say OVER!!!!