My friend sent me this..Southernisms

charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna


Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall  
The Country Club 
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails 
Having bad manners 
Cooking bad food



More Suth en-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. 
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
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Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."  
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Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. 
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All Southerners know exactly when "by  and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. 
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor whose got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! 
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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece. "They also know that "just down the  road" can be 1 mile or 20. 
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Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a  redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. 
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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. 
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A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.  
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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ..... and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody! 

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In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural. 
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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. 
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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are nota breakfast food.  
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When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! 
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Only true Southerners say "sweet tea," "sweet milk," and "light bread"... Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.  And "Light bread" is white bread. 
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And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way. 
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! 
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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, .... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin'to have classes on Southernness as a second language!  
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And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."