When your so-called 'friends' here at Gather, don't even know you . . .

It's hard to memorize everybody's profile.

my friend Peter . . . a minor detail I know, a pet peeve perhaps I shouldn't be so sensitive but I believe paying attention to detail on people's profiles is at least half the effort of finding out about our friends. Thanks for writing Peter and making me feel a little less peeved . . .

Erica,
Well, I sure am glad I didn't respond back to your ping with a Happy MD to you. Could it be that some people misconstrue "I dont want children" to mean you don't want the ones you have? Lord knows there are days I don't want to claim mine..lol
Even if they know you don't have them, I'm pretty sure everyone has or had one at some point, but if you in fact never did, please write about that, cause I'll bet its a whopper!

Good Rant!

my friend Donna F . . . yes it might have been misconstrued by some that "I don't want kids' means I don't want mine--but honestly I don't have any. When I was pregnant twice in my lifetime, neither embryo made it past the 8th week--so wishing me happy mothers day is just not appropriate and the three ladies that I did wish happy mothers day--know this. We have talked, they should of remembered . . . thanks for saying my rant was good. I thought so !
hugs,

lol And so it goes~ I love it when i write a bloody poetic about damaged souls and I get these:

"Great job"
"Nice"
"Thanks for sharing"
"a 10"

DITTO!

Oh, btw

Thanks for sharing ;) *i couldn't resist*

And thank you for the mum day's ping =)

To my dear friend purrrrrrrr--Now you know whats up in my life as you  have a second-sight in what I don't tell you, you somehow know. Purrrr, thank you for making me feel better as always . . .
love
e

It really is hard to know 'everybody' and everyone's children, financial situation, current projects, recent hardships, birthdays, blah, blah, blah. Maybe some of them know your face, but if you've never really hard heart-to-heart talks with them or gotten really close, maybe they haven't even noticed that you don't have kids.....or maybe they just assumed that because you thought to send them happy Mother's Day wishes, that maybe you were a mother yourself.

If you want to get to know people more and vice versa, maybe you should reach out to a few people specifically and try to build real relationships with them. Some people aren't here for that, though, so hey, maybe you should just be happy they even bothered to read your Mother's Day messages, hehe.

To my dear friend and buddy from a few years now Quirky Jessi--since you and I have been leading and following each other around the net between mySpace, here and some other groups, I knew you would understand. Thanks for responding and giving the advise. I hope its heeded by anyone that reads this.
hugs dear girl,
e

My mom has on her myspace profile...I don't want children........ummmmmmmmmmmmm she has three!! We are all grown and good kids, what gives ? LOL LOL
Anyway sorry you are peeved. Happy Erica Day!!

Dearest Danielle--thank you for a 'happy Erica day' . . . and as far as your mom, well maybe if she is now 'free' from child-rearing, or maybe she is divorced, or maybe she is just being funny, she still has kids. I don't . . . thanks for reading, commenting, understanding and making me feel better. What are friends for right ?
hugs

Whether you ahve children or not everyone has a mom and maybe they were just wishing you to have a happy day?? I don't know. Regardless you are right we don't really "know" each other.

Sorry you are irritated.

Thank you friend Kimber . . . I am glad you responded. At least there are those that pay attention and respond even if the subject is a little hostile-fed . . . irritated a little but peeved about simple awareness being overlooked.

didnt mean to offend ya but u wished me a good mothers day and i wished u one back.
nothing meant by it..

To my friend Dnbuster . . . I only wish you would of remembered from last year when you did the same thing wishing me a happy mothers day ! Things have not changed since then . . .  no offense taken, so thanks for responding at least.

Although many of us share much of our lives on Gather and other sites it is understandable that people do not remember our details unless our friendships have deepened to those of mere casual acquaintances. It is hard to keep track of all my "friends" but when in doubt I would try to check things out before wishing anyone a Happy Mother's Day

my friend Linda, thank you for the response and yes checking is really all that should have been done when responding back, especially on a sensitive issue as 'mothers day' . . .

There is no way I can remember all of my friend's lives here on gather, who is married, who is divorce, who has kids....unless they write about those things often.

my dear friend Priscilla, weve known each other awhile here now if the information is highly visible at our profiles wouldn't you think your true friends, your connections here can at least read before sending? I do . . . and thanks for your response and you paying attention to my status !
hugs,

Online friendship is very elusive! Can we really know these people here on Gather... maybe partially! I specifically didn't wish happy mother's day to anyone on Gather because, I am not their child! My hubby and kids are the only ones who can impact how my mother's day was and my mom's day wishes all went to my mom! Sorry people here were insensitive. I don't think they meant to offend you, but what you found out is that online "friendships" aren't the same as in person frienships!

To my 'soon-to-be friend' Heidi,
You have enlightened me by making that point clearer about online friendships versus real friendships; however to me, one is the same. Thank you for responding . . .
hugs,

And my latest post says I am cutting my time here because I have to move and I am way way too busy.

Honesty is appreciated from friends, it is okay and hope you get some time for yourself first, in your busy schedule . . .

hugs,

Well, I've been called a motha...

how dare they . . . !

I am so sorry Erica I would now be the fourth girl to just ping you back and say happy mothers day. It was the first time you pinged me so I just assumed you had a baby too. Sorry =[

Well I suppose the way my cat has been treating me, I am his mommy for all its worth in title and action and just loving him back . . . thank you chelsie !

Erica, it was very thoughtful of you to think of your friends on mother's day. I'm sorry that you had your feelings hurt. I think that people don't really invest the same amount of courtesy or consideration in their online friendships as they do IRL.

Erica: Maybe they thought you were an adoptive mother of a dog like I am? ;o)

And I agree, before we are to send out something like happy Mother's day I would think it would be good to make sure the other person has children first. We are not going to memorize everyone's profile. Especially when you have over 100 friends at Gather, it can be hard to remember.

Erica...I apologize for wishing you a Happy Mother's Day. I have no idea who has children and who doesn't here on Gather, unless they write about their children. When I pinged you back, I saw that a couple of other people had wished you a Happy Mother's Day, so I just assumed that you did, which was wrong of me. I hope you will accept my apology...

There are FAR too many people on gather to keep track of. I got tons of Happy Mothers Day greetings from people. I'm only 19 and don't have children, not even close. But I do have a mother and Aunts and a Grandmother. So it still is a happy mothers day. Not everyone meant it as have a happy mothers day with your children.

Hi Erica! Thanks for sharing. If there's a personal message then I'm sure you'll get a reply but if its a general message for all, then....

I like your pic. You look real extroverted, smiling and positive in your attitude towards others. Don't let it get you down.You call say hallo to the world and hug the world but friendship is a matter of investing attention, listening to someone's message,respect,tolerance, sometimes passing genuine admiration and getting it back. If you do take the time to get to learn someone in the internet, it is possible. It depends on your expectations ,you know. If your expectations are high the reaction might be frustrating.
But if you only want to say hallo, it's alright. Some react and some don't. Concentrate on those who reacted and it might be the beginning of a great friendship. Have a nice day and a nice time.
Regards,
Satis

Satis the picture is from long ago but the jubilance in my step has returned from those good ole days because I am doing important things with very influential and great people. pointing out fault in the sisterhood is one of my greatest challenges because i have to make some adversaries along the way as women, we are very stubborn and it is difficult sometimes to swallow the truth . . . but what better way than a woman making the sisterhood something to continue being proud of belonging too ? Right ? Thank you for sharing your response also my friend !

To my friends Chelsie, Shannon and Eileen--assumption is what should not be practised among the sisterhood, at least in my opinion. It is good that we as women want to wish the best back to our sistahs;yet it is so much more rewarding when the littlest details (usually discovered on profiles, interests, likes, dislikes, etc) are remembered because it shows real wanting to know one another. As Shannon says consideration for people whether online or IRL (thanks for that code) should be the same, we are people with feelings. Although it did not hurt my feelings so much it equally irritated me that the sisterhood I am proud of, the one that weaved its majick throughout history with compassion, truth and never ill-regard, has faded somehow . . . Eileen thank you for pointing out about pets--yes then I would have to back down from my gripe and apologize to those I chastized, cause I am the proud mama of an orange and white sweetie with little ankle socks (the white part) who believes he is only part feline ! The memorization is not required even if you have 300 friends but it is noted on profiles where pings go so I thought all people peruse pages side to side as well as up and down, scrolling to the bottom of course to not miss a tidbit ! Thanks girls for your honesty and sincere responses . . . love ya !

To Cheryl , Ashley, and Misty--I understand having so many friends and yes hard to remember every ones 'family status'; however with Ashleys scenario being wished happy Mothers Day from tons of people when her profile specifically says this: Children: Maybe someday . . . hmmmm is that a clue she does not have any yet giving her no right (well maybe right but not privilege) to get cake on mothers day by her kids---nope !

Anyway, the whole thing here is communication in the sisterhood (or brotherhood for that matter (but thats another post in itself) should not be shallow or less important because it is spit out of machine instead of live talking phone or meeting over coffee. Your important to me, so I expect you to see me as equally important to you, therefore I find out about you by first reading, later asking which is not yet provided. Its pretty simple . . . Thanks for sharing ladies and I welcome you back for more

Erica, you should see how many people wish me a Merry Christmas or a Happy Easter. Not just on Gather (for Easter) because I have been rather dormant, but in general.

I kind of wrote an article about a similar thing. I have trouble keeping track of people though, even though I do look at people's profiles.

While it's true that your friends should know whether you have kids or not..
Some people wish others a Happy Mother's day because they think that maybe, it will go to your own mother and not you..

If it's too painful, it's good that you informed others how much it bothers you. And, next time, they will not wish you the blessings of Mother's Day.