by William Dotani
Member since:
October 27, 2006

but hey

May 11, 2009 02:46 AM EDT (Updated: May 11, 2009 02:47 AM EDT)
views: 129 | comments: 36

Colors rebound in mystical causeways
Roadmaps left abandoned, heart drawn away
So you take the tiny steps evolving
Wallpaper such regrets, rhyme plays, moon swoons
Recall looking at mainstay afternoons
Sun, cloud and sky, you're gyro balancing

Extra candle in lexical birthday
Layered cake chocolate, thin slice waved
So you're letting your hair down one more time
Annual this flower, your in full bloom
Laid back and free, carefree dancing with tune
Rainfall pattern melody, groovy find

Peace echoes in easiest slogans
Revive hope citizen, peace for all, man
So loving slang words, mellow filled ideas
Estimate the good, smiles are still free
Good comes and sees, simple helping has need
Dancing images, swell lollipop sea

Drawing straws from two hump camel
Quickly puzzle forgotten, blank pixel
So pastel formula gave colors say
Riskier to think, laughing mixed-up glee
Let not strangers be, instant enemy
Harmonic frontier, here and gone, but hey
Challenge situational, love all, charms

 

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Comments: 36

But hey right back at you :)

I loved this entire poem. My favorite lines, since I feel I need to choose some (this time) are:

Roadmaps left abandoned, heart drawn away
So you take the tiny steps evolving
Wallpaper such regrets, rhyme plays, moon swoons

I can very much relate to this.

Featured in the group,

Poets. New And Old

with thanks again,

For anyone that wishes to read it there, please right-click on the link, so as not to take yourself out of this masterpiece. How do you write like this? Nevermind, just keep doing it!

Marilyn
Svetlana Goryacheva May 11, 2009, 3:03am EDT
I love both your rhythm and your choice of words... bravo, dear Bill! :-)

Blessings and best wishes in great abundance - S.
William Dotani May 11, 2009, 3:04am EDT
Holy cow Marilyn, You're going to cause me to get a larger hat size. I sincerely thank you.
William Dotani May 11, 2009, 3:05am EDT
Thank you Svetlana. Getting a continual rhythm for this was a wee bit difficult.
tammy b. May 11, 2009, 3:10am EDT
wonderful
~Jamie W. May 11, 2009, 3:22am EDT
I love the pictures it draws in my mind! Thank you!
Lee P. May 11, 2009, 4:17am EDT
awwww, nice.
JOHN BECK May 11, 2009, 6:58am EDT
"Good comes and sees" indeed. Great one, Bill.
Marianne M. May 11, 2009, 7:57am EDT
This is wonderful, Bill! One of my favorites! I see you were "burning the midnight oil."
Kimberly Ripley May 11, 2009, 9:25am EDT
I just love the way this flows.....it "dances" across each line. I like it!
Kushal Poddar May 11, 2009, 9:28am EDT
All the ladies, please let your hair down once more
for this amazing piece and William, encore!

Butterfly
Marge H. May 11, 2009, 12:31pm EDT
Another one I will need to come back to enjoy fully.
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' May 11, 2009, 3:16pm EDT
Peace echoes in easiest slogans...I like it.
M & M. May 11, 2009, 4:16pm EDT
Lovely dear.
"smiles are still free"...and isn't that a wonderful thing? Great writing, as always, Bill.
K D. May 11, 2009, 8:20pm EDT
Hey, hey! This was really nice, I liked the poem in it's entirety. It also has a nice flow to it.
Elsie Duggan May 12, 2009, 12:30am EDT
Beautiful poem William, and it does seem to dance across the page, Just getting on today again, but must come here to say goodnight to you. Cat watching again. will they ever stop , lol. Goodnight William , love you.
Lisa Frost May 12, 2009, 3:18am EDT
Hay is for horses, oats are cheaper and grass is free.....LOL

That was one of my mom's favorite things to say to people..

great write, wonderful feel and flow to it.
Marge H. May 12, 2009, 1:21pm EDT
Just as enjoyable on the second read. You are a master wordcrafter.
John F Walter May 12, 2009, 8:00pm EDT
Mystical braiding of word gems in time-bound penseés that stretch back forty years and then spring forward, like flowers that really have blasted through gun barrels to the other side, all sung in harmonies that sound both familiar and yet de-familiarized in the way a situation can seem strange and apparent, depending where you were the day Jimmy Hendrix died.

As with so many of Dotani´s recent poetic splendors, this set of intertwined patterns represents unique ways of thinking and emoting the American experience that riffs off of nostalgia into a free zone of unblemished awareness, where idealism is not a hollow concept or embittered laugh but rather a soap bubble of amber, glistening with presence in the eternal now.
Jennifer Lee May 12, 2009, 8:29pm EDT
I just adore the third stanza and the images it created for me. Thank you for posting to our group, The Poet’s Circle.
William Dotani May 13, 2009, 2:53am EDT
Such comments humble me.
Ankica S. May 13, 2009, 4:07am EDT
I love whole poem , particularly this part: "Let not strangers be, instant enemy"
Debra H. May 13, 2009, 12:45pm EDT
Excellent as always William
M & M. May 13, 2009, 7:02pm EDT
Wonderful William.
lynn a. May 13, 2009, 10:30pm EDT
The first stanza is my favorite. Wallpaper regrets.... really gets to me. As effective as wallpapering is, I wish it were so easy to do with regrets.
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' May 14, 2009, 1:21pm EDT
Hi William...I saw that you posted some article but can't see any new...so was wondering where did it go?

Love
Marge H. May 14, 2009, 5:25pm EDT
I can't find your new poem either William. Maybe Gather swallowed it up.
William Dotani May 15, 2009, 1:40am EDT
Sorry, I removed it. I found a huge rhythm mistake. I rewrote it several times. Drove me sane.

My wife should be in Japan in 2 hours. She needs time to see family, friends and be in her culture.
TINA s. May 15, 2009, 8:11am EDT
very nice
Rose H. May 15, 2009, 9:01am EDT
Forgive me for saying this - but this piece has me grinning from ear to ear. I see long haired men and women sitting in a circle - all in their sixties now - 'cause peace man - it made me think of make love not war and pass that roach please.....

Like Elsie says - you danced across the page - or maybe floated, rising above the smoke of the peace pipe.

I have to stop now:), still grinning, or I might risk the end of your visits and delightful comments on my unworthy flower posts:)

Extra candle in lexical birthday - love it

... let not strangers be, instant enemy - excellent - but hey, I feel all mellow now:)
William Dotani May 16, 2009, 10:59pm EDT
Rose,
Alas, I'm only 56.
t b. May 18, 2009, 12:17am EDT
Beautiful.
Curt L. May 18, 2009, 11:54am EDT
The very first line, "Colors rebound in mystical causeways..."
set my mind ablaze with multi-hued imagining!
I had to reread it many times before I could move on
to enjoy the rest of this dancing delight.
Shelbia C. May 20, 2009, 2:37pm EDT
What a wonderful picture you paint.
Sheila Deeth May 26, 2009, 9:35pm EDT

Hey. Neat. And a perfect first line.

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