Mother's day is a day set aside to cherish moms. Does this include all moms? What about selfish moms? Have you ever known a mom who you felt deserved a swift kick instead of a loving card on Mother's Day? Unfortunately I do know someone who fits this description. Her actions have convinced me that not everyone deserves to be honored on this special day. Motherhood is a gift that supersedes all other gifts. I adore my children but, sometimes that love is blind. That love would also have to be extremely naïve for me not to understand that my eldest daughter is lacking something in the maternal feelings she has for her son.
Most moms want to spend at least part of Mother's day with their children. For those who can not my heart goes out to them. My daughter spent ten minutes with her son. Just long enough to carry him from his room to my bed. She collected the few gifts awaiting her. I never heard a thank you, but did hear complaints regarding the photo I had chosen to place on her personalized Dunkin Donuts gift card. I was not obligated to give her anything but since Gabe is just a toddler and she has no significant other, I believed the gesture would have been appreciated. I stand corrected. Gabe had made her a card at preschool. Admittedly the card contained a photo of him taken on the day Aunty Lauren had decided to gel his hair into a mini Mohawk, but it was a sweet card. The picture was poked fun at right in front of Gabe. Perhaps he may not have been aware of the dig but do we really know what a two year old is capable of understanding? Adding insult to injury Bea proceeds to leave her son with me while she drives an hour away to visit someone she met in rehab two weeks ago. I find her behavior offense to all moms who for varies reasons are not with their children today but who so long to be.
The person I should have gotten a Mother's Day gift for has not given birth to any children of her own yet. Yet she has assumed responsibility for the care and nurturing of her young nephew repeatedly. She cherishes Gabe and loves him even when he is at his worst. She never asks for payment and rarely refuses the opportunity to spend time with him. I have watched this sweet child of mine be pushed aside at family gatherings so Bea can pretend to be super mom. When people compliment Gabe on his manners or behavior the kudos belong to Lauren. Yet it is Bea who claims the glory while Lauren's eyes shine with pride and just a shadow of hurt. Recently Bea signed up Gabe for swimming lessons. After one lesson she begged Lauren to become Gabe's swim partner. He was acting like the perfect child during the lesson and it was stressing her out. It meant giving up sleeping in on Saturday mornings but Lauren was excited to do so. She is always there offering love and encouragement. How did I manage to overlook that the honor of being a mom does not always belong to the person who gave birth. Lauren deserves to be honored today and she will be. Happy Mother's Day Lauren!
Gabe and Aunty Lauren during parent child
swim lessons.
Kicking is allowed and encouraged!
Swim Gabe!
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Comments: 77
Bea time to grow up!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! Yup, I shouted it out.
(I had to correct some fat finger spelling, so you got this twice.)
By the way, my mom is one of those mother's who has deserved a swift kick in the pants on mother's day herself.
Happy Mother's Day to you and your younger daughter - you don't have to be a mother to get this wish - acting like one matters too. She'll be a wonderful mother!
glitter-graphics.comWishing you a blessed Mother's day.
Happy Mothers Day to you and Lauren. At least both of you will be able to enjoy the day with Gabe and make memories that all three of you can treasure.
Never had a mother, so I couldn't relate to this holiday until I had children of my own.
Thank goodness for great aunts and grandmoms.
Hope you have a great day and I gave you a 10!
I hope you and Lauren had a Great Mother's Day!
Hello
Butterfly
Hugs!
God bless you...
Do another post, so I can read it and comment on it.
Do a happy post.
Points Nation
And, hopefully that will be enough to make him a happy, well adjusted kid.
In case I forgot to do so..
Happy belated Mother's day!
Swinging by through Points Nation!!
So many find it very easy to state that biology does not make a father, it's the one that's always there for the child and always will be. Why these same people don't find as natural to say is that the same applies to women, having given birth does not make one mommy, anyone or animal can do that, it's who nurtures the child. A child with a large and loving network that fufills that role is a lucky child indeed, whether or not the one who birthed them is even in that network. That loving network will be all they have ever known and they won't be less nurtured due to it not being as it ideally should be. Bea will eventually regret and that's a shame but that will be for her to come to terms with and nothing anyone else can do there. Be grateful Gabe has been so blessed to have the loving nurture he does no matter where it comes from, as for Lauren, well, what nurturing mommy really gets her due? Not many, it can superficially appear a thankless job, but the most rewarding one we are ever blessed with anyway and we're thankful for none the less. Her rewards I have no doubt will be in seeing him blossom and grow, and the child will always know. Will always remember who was there. How wonderful for you to acknowledge and honor her in this way!! She had to have been so pleased!
Personally, I am one of those mothers that you spoke of that would have done or given absolutely anything to have been able to have spent even a moment or simply spoke to one the phone with my son. It is impossible for me to do so, and while it may cause my heart to pain to see such with another mother and son that can and don't, I know also that she has no idea what it would be like if she didn't have that choice and takes it for granted. You don't always know what you've got til its gone, and life isn't always or usually fair. I accept that and simply await whatever plan there must be for me in faith that perhaps someday I'll understand, gotta have faith.........
PN
that is so sad, but at least the little guy has a grandma and an aunt that love him and are there for him
points nation
I was raised by my grandparents -- my grandmother was my "mom" and she did a great job -- I really miss her! PIF
i hope she can get to be a better mother, like someone else said there is more to motherhood then just giving birth...PN
Stopping by from Points Nation
I am sorry to hear about your daughter. I hope she realizes what she is missing out on.
giving birth is not being a mom it is just the end result of a physical activity - a mom is something you are or you are not. it is a CHOICE - a day to day lifestyle and you can either do it or you can't. being a mom is putting your child FIRST not yourself. Sounds like Lauren is a GREAT "mom"
Gabe is lucky to have such a wonderful second "mom" in his life.
This post makes me so sad. I got to see my girls for Mother's day only to find out later that I wasn't supposed to. It breaks my heart that I can't have my children with me right now. And it makes me angry to see and hear of mom's that don't appreciate this precious gift that they have. I also know someone I'd like to give a kick to on mother's day. Oh, she loves her children... but she thinks that mother's day is about sitting back and letting everyone do for her for a change. And she has the insensitivity to tell me on more than one occasion that he doesn't want to be a mom anymore and wishes that dfs would just come and take her children away. This hurts so badly because, as a mother that CARES I would gladly switch places with her! I would gladly have my children with me... and have them have autism and adhd and all the stuff she deals with on a daily basis just to have my children home with me!
Whoops, I forgot. PIF
Praise God that Gabe has his Aunty Lauren! I grew up with a mom who was challenging at best. She means well, but is just different. I often wonder where I'd be if it weren't for my stepmom, who never had kids of her own.
Now I forgot the
Stopping by to help from another PIF group
I know a couple of moms who need a kick, too. Don't you wonder how your daughters grew up to be so different? Gabe is blessed to have Lauren and you as positive mother roles in his life.
The differences in my daughters can be attributed to genetics. My oldest three children are products of my first marriage the last two are from my current marriage. The differences between the oldest two and the youngest two are incredible. My son falls in the middle. He rarely saw his father until he turned 18. While he exhibits some of the traits of the older two he has the can do attitude of the younger siblings. That attitude makes a great difference.
I hear you and I agree. My stepdaughter chose to follow her mother's example and is very selfish. She took all she wanted from us, then cut us out of her life. We rarely see our three granddaughters. It's beyond cruel and is bewildering.
My daughter is a high-achiever, sensitive and kind. Because she is 10 years younger than her brother, she exhibits traits of an only child, oldest and youngest.
My stepson, like your son, falls into the middle ground. He's more loyal to his mother's family, but is generous and kind and would never hurt anyone's feelings. I've read that middle children are peacemakers. I believe it.
Sounds like the "mother" is a bit selfish, hopefully she will change with age...
Just stopping by to PIF>>>
I am sorry this happened PN
So very sorry..I know how this can be.
HH
How very sad. Your daughter will never get these years back with her son. Lauren thank you for being such a great aunt. I am glad that Gabe at least has you and Lauren in his life.
I have a sister like this. I don't understand it. I am glad his has you and his aunt!! ~hh
Happy late mothers Day. What great photos!!
Oh, bless you heart! I am sorry you have to experience this. The best thing is that he has you and his aunt in his life.
It is nice to know that our visit made you feel good. At the time we felt you weren't all that happy to see us. You have a habit of not showing people that that are close to you that you care. We are not mind readers and your actions often lead us to believe you don't care. I hope you can become a more positive person. At one time I was very negative too. I am sure you can remember that.
I often had trouble finding non-mushy Mother's Day cards for my mother.
what a cutie