The Swine/Bird/Mansanto flu Pandemic, the real story!

It is not that I want to sound like a conspiracy nut when it comes to this whole bird/swine/human flu epidemic, but sometimes I can't help but be a little paranoid. I mean what are the odds that the bird flu is going to combine with the pig flu, and then become transmittable to humans, isn't that all a bit much to have happen spontaneously? After the bird flu started to spread through Mexico I started to do a little bit of independent research into the subject and it is amazing what I found to be the actual cause of the pandemic.

It all started back in the spring of 2004, a biologist by the name of James Kampinni was working for the government working on trying to make the bird flu transmittable to humans. It was long and frustrating work though, no matter what he tried he just could not make a virus that would actually transmit from human to human from the bird flu strains that he had.

Then he was fired.

After winning the election in 2004 only with the assistance of rigged voting machines in Ohio and Florida the Bush administration determined that they had lost their mandate for a new America and immediately stopped all of the work that they had been doing into trying to create a flu epidemic to once again give the country something to unify against at the expense of a few thousand innocent civilians.

Our biologist James was now out of a job and discovering how difficult it is to get a new job when all of your experience is classified. After several months of searching in vain he finally gave up on doing honest work and moved down into the middle of Mexico to help build a super-lab for the cartels who were running Methamphetamine across the border into the United States. He used his chemistry minor and was able to greatly improve the rudimentary processes that they had been using to create the meth, this allowed him to be granted a certain amount to freedom with his time and soon he had set up his own research facility all being bankrolled by the Mexican Cartels.

He had stolen some of the samples of bird flu when he got fired from the government lab back in the States and now he started to do more work into trying to get the virus to transmit human to human, but now he did not have to worry about oversight, or ethics, or much of anything for that matter. Working for the cartels even gave him access to prisoners who he could test his creations on, but for four years he could gt nothing to stick. Sure, he could get someone sick and have them die of the virus, that was not an issue, the problem was that their cell mate would not get sick, ever. Often they would end up even healthier than before, sometimes even with a resistance against the infection if they were later chosen to be the one who got infected.

Now it is September of 2008 and it is becoming obvious that Obama is going to become the next president of the United States. Our buddy James is out taking a smoke break with some of the Cholos (Hispanic gangsters) who are going to be taking the drugs that are produced at the lab across the border into the States and some how or another politics becomes the subject of conversation.

James, "So, have you been watching the election unfolding in the United States? I sometimes almost wish I was up there to see how things are coming together."

Cholo, "I have watched it, but America with a black president? Yeah, maybe when pigs grow wings!"

James, "Pigs grow wings, pigs grow wings...."

Cholo, "Are you ok man, you getting that far away look, dude, your kinda freaking me out..."

James ran back into the laboratory and immediately started to work on crossing a swine flu virus with a bird flu virus, and soon enough he was successful, he dropped a sample into the prisoner block and it killed a quarter of them within a week, he was beside himself! After all of these years of work he had finally created the lethal virus that he had been attempting to invent for all of these years. His employers really didn't see what it was going to do to benefit them, but they were happy because James was in a far better mood and was now even more inventive with coming up with new ways to create meth, and streamline the operations. It seemed that everything had finally come together.

Then they were busted.

The Mexican authorities had become weary of being pushed around by the drug cartels and had finally rounded together enough strength to fight back, some of the obvious super-labs were the first targets. At about five in the morning on a fine say just this last month a group of government agents, police, and military came busting into the lab and destroyed everything, the lab, James' research lab, and smashed all of the samples that he had been working on. Of course unlike the chemicals in the meth lab where when spilled they evaporate into the air and only irritate a few local villagers lungs what the feds had spilled in James' lab was live virus samples, and with all of these cops running around it was simply logical to imagine that a multitude of them got infected with the swine flu.

So now all of these swine flu infected cops went home to their families and infected them, it started small but soon it was starting to snowball, and it was not even flu season in Mexico. After a while the flu had started to spread around the cities, and then to travelers, truck drivers, and everywhere, now it has even made it to the United States. But what no one seems to realize is that all of this was started with a sample stolen from a lab in California by a geeky, tweaky, researcher named James Kampinni.