Letter to my mom, my abuser

Mom,

So many are so lucky for they have a mom like I dreamed of.  I dream each Mother's Day to have you.  I want a mom to hold me, hug me, say I love you.  That I will never have.

Mommy the days I remember aren't good ones. I remember seeing you lay on the floor, trying to over dose. I remember the yelling how I was a bitch, fat, good for nothing.  Worse part of it all is the spankings on the bare butt for not cleaning the house to meet your specifications.

Still today I want my mommy, I want my kids grandma.  You brain washed my kids told them stories that was so untrue.  Still you are my mom.

Do you know someone took your place?  I met a beautiful woman someone that cares for me.  Someone that raises my son, which you call stepson, as her own.  If I am upset she talks to me.  She tells me it will be okay.  What do you do?  You talk about things I did as a teen.

Okay mom what teen didn't run up a phone bill? What teen wouldn't of took from their paper route money when they had 5 of them?  All I got out of those routes was $3 to go skating. 

Mom  I may miss you, I may love you, but I don't need you.  Yes, I would do anything to dream of a mommy like so many. 

There is a catch mommy.  See I have that mommy, she is my life, she talks to me.  I have that mommy that I can turn to.  See mom you should thank Judy for stepping up to your plate for she is my mommy.