Here goes.....this will likely become my ultimate humiliation.
Have you ever watched Late Night with Jimmy Fallon? He took over for Conan O'Brian, who will be taking over the Tonight Show when Jay Leno retires next month.
When I'm in Florida I stay up pretty late, so I watch at least a portion of Jimmy Fallon on most week nights. Last week; just a few short days before I left for our drive home to New Hampshire, I saw a segment of Jimmy's show I hadn't witnessed before.
"Lick It for Ten."
Fallon brings audience members up on stage and pays them $10 each to lick some sort of obscure inanimate object. The episode I watched found audience members licking a TV camera....a window--one guest on each side of the pane, and a variety of other items.
I love stupid humor. Harmless...foolish.....the kind that when you're over tired you'll burst out cackling at most anything. Yes, that's me.
I knew I had to take "Lick It for Ten" to a whole new level.
I decided I would "Lick My Way Up the East Coast."
And so I did.
Please note that some objects were much too large to actually reach with my tongue, so I simply stood nearby and pretended to lick for the camera. No human beings or animals were harmed in the taking of these photos.
Here I'm licking the shell casing of the Lightning Whelk....on Sanibel Island in Florida. It was a bit on the salty side. An innocent bystander...who fortunately missed the fact that I was licking a piece of ocean debris, did manage to hear me holler to my daughter who was on her cell phone, "Did you tell Auntie what I licked?" and "Does she know about Dad's infection?" Totally unrelated. Trust me.
I know.....the one dog who "should have been" wasn't on a leash!
The family picnicing to the far right of the sign were certain the South Carolina funny farm was taking a field trip!
Some licking appears perfectly normal. (The licking....not necessarily the lickee!)
In the Carolinas I licked a bush. No rude comments allowed.
In North Carolina I found a Red Sox fan, and so of course had to give his plate a little lick!
My failed attempt a licking the Capitol drew concerned looks from passersby. Fortunately no one informed Homeland Security.
Nope. Didn't lick these! But loved the name.
No, I didn't tiptoe through them, but I did lick a tulip in Maryland.
This is my attempt at licking the New Jersey Turnpike, while visiting a rest stop along the way. I almost got propositioned, but thwarted the effort immediately. He was about 85. And 4 ' 10".
Lickin' my Dum Dum. Who, me? The dum dum? Whatever are you thinking???
And this dear man at the Hilton in Stamford, CT allowed me to lick him....much to my daughter's chagrin....as she kept shaking her head at him and mouthing, "I'm so, so sorry!"
The gentleman in this car was so excited at the prospect of my licking his Massachusetts license plate at a Dunkin' Donuts in Sturbridge that he asked me if I would send him a copy, and even gave me his address on a DD napkin!
So there you have it, folks. I have successfully licked my way up the east coast.
(I really hope I haven't contracted anything!)
Jimmy Fallon, beat this!
I must give credit where credit is due, so I offer special thanks to my friend Kay who was my photographer, and to my daughter Elizabeth who suffered enough humiliation for a lifetime!!