by Atticus *.
Member since:
September 16, 2006

Principle's Last Stand (cinquain)

April 23, 2009 12:20 PM EDT (Updated: April 23, 2009 04:16 PM EDT)
views: 108 | rating: 10/10 (5 votes) | comments: 22

 

 

 

 

 

Torture?

Acts on your fear.

Standing on principle,

or at least, its drowning shoulders

to breathe.


















 

 

 

 

 

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Comments: 22

shrill dips exotic and raw~gorgeous weaving
Susan Budig Apr 23, 2009, 1:17pm EDT
Thanks for posting to Mindful Poetry. The tags on this piece are revealing and illuminating.
JOHN BECK Apr 23, 2009, 1:23pm EDT
Good one, Atticus. Some may feel that "Torture" and "to breathe" are not closely enough related for the usual cinquain form but not all follow such strict "rules".
Atticus *. Apr 23, 2009, 1:25pm EDT
That depends on what is meant by torture John Beck ;-) Thanks for the comment.
Svetlana Goryacheva Apr 23, 2009, 1:34pm EDT
Thoughtful and very well done!...


Blessings and best wishes - S.
Ron (in complete sheeple overload) W. Apr 23, 2009, 2:36pm EDT
Ahh, yes...
Susan Budig Apr 23, 2009, 3:00pm EDT
The thought as John Beck gives also crossed my mind, but then I considered the many who find breathing a torture: asthmatics, cistic fibrosis, depressed, other lung aliments. It piqued my curiosity and teased my imagination.
Fred Hose Apr 23, 2009, 3:32pm EDT
This is so powerful that I had to read it a few times.
I wanted to get the picture of a drowning principle. Caused by torture? What must be done just to breathe?
Ten for tantalising me into thinking very deeply.
Atticus *. Apr 23, 2009, 4:26pm EDT
Thank you Purrrrrrrrrrr, Ron, Svetlana.

I appreciate the visit Fred, and your kind comment. Thank you.
Atticus *. Apr 23, 2009, 4:27pm EDT
Thanks Susan, I always wonder about the placement of tags (in reference to your first comment). I guess it can be a kind of a cheap way of pointing out something. A poem should stand on its own to a certain extent, without too much explanation. But if that were an absolute rule, literature would be significantly less interesting, or conversely, there would be a lot of it that none of us understood. The use of tags in this way limits interpretation to gather readers in my mind, but can also provide a clue to where the author was going with a piece. I take them with a grain of salt, so to speak. To me good poems carry inherent meanings, the ones put there by the author. But they may also be permeable enough for variations in interpretation as to allow for expanded (or expansive) meanings. Having said that, I’ve removed the most obvious “give away” tag. I hope the poem speaks for itself.
Chris Brockman Apr 23, 2009, 4:34pm EDT
I see the administrators (as in administration) of the torture standing on the drowning shoulder of principle to justify their act done out of fear. Am I being naive? It works well for me that way.
Atticus *. Apr 23, 2009, 6:07pm EDT
No, you are not being naive Chris, thanks for the comment.
Granny Janny H. Apr 23, 2009, 10:33pm EDT
topical and sharp
grim but not emotional
I didn't read the tags but immediately thought of water boarding
You get a lot across in five lines
Atticus *. Apr 23, 2009, 10:53pm EDT
Thank you very much Jan.
Debbie G. Apr 23, 2009, 11:06pm EDT
Well done!
Atticus *. Apr 23, 2009, 11:08pm EDT
Hi Debbie. Thanks so much for reading and commenting.
Jennifer Lee Apr 25, 2009, 5:24pm EDT
I concur with Susan's insightful comment. For those of us who are depressed it can be torture just to breathe. Thank you for posting your such profound lines to our group. I enjoy your sparse verse, Atticus. It feels as though you're speaking to me and understand. Well done, indeed.
Mike Ellwood Apr 27, 2009, 3:40pm EDT
Very smart. Yes, it would be torture to try to breathe while undergoing water-boarding administered by people convinced of the ethicality of their egregiousness.
John F Walter May 6, 2009, 7:30pm EDT
Blunt and uncompromising poem that speaks to the distortion of the American ideals that was foisted on us by our shadow President Cheney and his blundering sidekick of a Commander in Thief, Bush.
Atticus *. May 6, 2009, 8:09pm EDT
Ha! What an apt description John. You nailed them.
Richard Lynn Livesay Jun 22, 2009, 12:35pm EDT

We are all tortured at some time and it isn't a pretty picture but then we can know the difference and hopefully learn compassion..very thought provoking cinqo

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