Kayaking with the dolphins. Doesn't that sound divine? The thought of slowly paddling through blue waters with dolphins and manatees swimming alongside the boat was so amazingly appealing, and he talked about it so enthusiastically for months before our vacation, that I didn't know how to break the news to him that I just. didn't. want. to. do. it.
Avid kayakers at home, the initial thought of kayaking with dolphins playing nearby gave me a kick, too. As the time drew near, I realized that a whole season of being sedentary, mixed with the opportunity to do nothing on our last day of vacation but sit on a beach and drink beer made the thought of physical exercise somewhat repugnant. He talked me into getting a two-man kayak so he would have to do all of the paddling and I could concentrate on taking pictures. For some reason, I still didn't want to go, but I caved and we were off to rent a kayak at the state park.
$57 later, we were walking to the launch area.

I really didn't feel good about this sign.
When we arrived at the designated site, I was a little disturbed about the kayak we were supposed to be taking out. I'm used to a cockpit style kayak, where our behinds are actually below the level of the water and they're almost impossible to tip over. The ones they rented out were of the sit-upon style, where you're above the water level on a molded, fiberglass body.

This is what an excited and happy man looks like. How could I turn him down?
I realized I could be in big trouble, and immediately began to practice blowing the emergency whistle that came with our rented life jackets.

I sat down and Kevin began to launch us. The first thing I noticed that was amiss was the fact that water came in through two, intentional holes by my butt and immediately soaked my bottom. Our kayaks at home stay dry.
The next problem I encountered was when Kevin pushed us off of the shore and joined me, the kayak felt like it could tip over at any given moment. To be sure that I didn't contribute to this certainty, I deigned to hold very, very still in the front end. The next problem I noticed was that there was absolutely nothing to hold on to except the molded, fiberglass sides of the boat that were really too wide for my hands to encompass comfortably. Nevertheless, I wanted him to achieve his dream of kayaking with the dolphins, so off we went.
There was a very small island in front of us, just as we launched. Kevin began paddling us around the right side of it, while I held my breath and refused to move. I was being a Good Wife, and willfully sacrificing myself to the alligator that I was sure wanted to eat me. I was nearly gouged by an overhanging tree or two, but my husband managed to push us away from these dangers, just in the nick of time. This was when he asked me where the camera was, and I informed him that it was in my pocket. I knew I was going to have to move to get it out. I held my breath and reached my left hand, ever so slightly, toward my pocket. That's when it happened, right in front of our boat.
A fish jumped.
I let loose with a blood-curdling scream, then quickly shut my big mouth so as not to draw attention to us, as I knew Kevin still needed to realize his dream of kayaking with the dolphins.
We rounded the little island and I saw the area from which we launched. I couldn't believe when he started paddling toward it. Now, the guilt set in. I apologized profusely for my idiotic behavior and promised to be in better control so he could continue the journey to kayak with the dolphins.
"Are you kidding me?" he asked with astonishment. "My back is in spasms! I'm terrified this thing is going to tip over! I'm so nervous that I'm afraid I'm going to have a heart attack! I want this to end!"
I was never so relieved about anything in my life. It was a ten minute ride and a $57 lesson, but we're both aware that kayaking in Lake Erie is more of our speed.


Comments: 59
Though it was nothing to the terror I felt when canoeing as a child and coming upon a huge - I mean a gigantic snapping turtle in the Concord River. I had visions of it grabbing my paddle and boarding my canoe!!! OK, so I was a little irrational, but it was a REALLY BIG snapping turtle.
Did I mention it was large?
So you're forgiven for passing up the dolphins. No doubt they'd have been highly amused by flipping your boat.
I loved this... I feel better about passing up on the chance to go kayaking, too. I told my husband I'd rather go on a glass-bottomed boat. That too, was a wash out! There was hardly any marine life to see. We were luckier with the submarine ride.
Duckie ~ Ladies of our...ahem...age should never feel guilty about not wanting to surf, sky dive, bungee jump or ride in a sit-upon kayak near alligators. We're more suited for shopping and visiting gardens.
I've never understood kayaking, because it seems like you need a reasonable sense of balance to do it. I don't have that. There are days I'm like a pinball going from room to room in my own house.
I've swum about 15 feet from where dolphins are jumping out of the water, playing. It's startling but thrilling.
We had a lot of great dolphin experiences while we were gone. I haven't written about any of them, yet. I even got one cool picture that I haven't posted, yet.
And fish that come OUT of water intentionally are just birds with gills and scales, IMO.
I think you let your imagination run away with you.
You should have taken the time to test the little craft in the shallows near the launching area to settle your concerns. You missed a treat.
Joy ~ I didn't want to say it here, because I don't want everyone to know just how loony I am, but I will. My fish phobia nearly equals my bird phobia, so I have to agree with you. So, I live beside a lake and in what very nearly qualifies as an aviary.
Come save me.
Clifford ~ It wasn't just my imagination. My husband was hating it, too. We were in the shallows. This was a heinous adventure, and I'm glad it ended as quickly as it did.
Ron ~ Yeah, you can't have adventures like this in your fish pond.
*shudder*
Fish = CREEPY
A long time ago in a different relationship, I was in Hawaii at a beautiful park where scads of colorful, tropical fish would come up and swim around your legs. The water was crystal clear and you could see all the way to the bottom. Everyone was carrying on so much about how wonderful it was, that I decided to conquer my phobia and went in to the water. When those tiny, little fish started getting near me, I couldn't breathe and I know I was on the verge of a full blown panic attack. I very nearly froze in my attempt to get out of the water, and when I finally hit shore, I was crying like an idiot.
Yeah. I don't do fish, either.
Sue ~ Yeah, but remember the awesome bling he bought me? I had to at least try for him!
Roy ~ I know dolphins aren't fish. I really don't have a fear of them, just the tiny, creepy slimy fish that aren't so smart. In fact, I saw some dolphins that I was sure were playing with people where we were staying.
I mean, I don't want to kiss a dolphin or anything. Or even touch one. In fact, I think I have a video somewhere of me calling the dolphins, in their own language. I'll have to try to find that one.
A Coroner who is afraid of fish??
Be very afraid.
Thanks for the laugh though - this gray dreary day was much in need of it :)
CC ~ If they'd have provided us with a decent kayak, it wouldn't have been a problem. But, I'm thinking that if I saw a gator while in a regular kayak, I probably would have screamed like I did when the fish jumped.
I'm a pretty good 'canoer' but have never been in a kayak......I think now I'm glad of that fact...
It reminds me of the time my sister Carol and I were traveling and I wanted to go canoeing. She was less than enthusiastic, but went along with me. As we left the dock, the woman who rented us the canoe told us to be sure to stay in the middle of the river because the water moccasins liked to drop out of the trees into the canoes. Carol was totally freaked as we zig-zagged across that river for two hours. She never stopped yelling at me.
Penny ~ I know! I can't see how anyone would have considered this to be a fun adventure. It was a great cardio workout, though.
Jessie ~ That's exactly what I was thinking! I just knew that it could be tipped by a large sea creature. With hungry alligators hanging out and playful dolphins and sluggish manatees all wanting a piece of me, I was lucky I made it as long as I did!
dianne ~ I wouldn't have stopped yelling at you, either! Water moccasins?! Oh, hell NO!
After living there a while we got used to seeing them and also a few gators - yet the 4th of July, every year, come hell or high water - hordes of people would go upstream a few miles and go in the water with rubber rafts and intertubes and 'cruise down the river' a few more winding miles to what was called 'the country club' - a place where people from the nearby town had summer houses and the whole family would move to the river after school was out. Sometimes hundreds of people would pass in front of our place on that day - and some of them could have tied coolers to their innertubes....beer would flow freely....and I always thought only drunk would I do that.....but after a while, we even swam in our river ;-), had a dock and even a rope hanging from a tree across the way where the kids would swing and then drop in the water.....
You're a braver woman than I!
thank you for posting to this group whose only purpose is to thank you for posting to this group so you know I'm not mad at you. K?
flit ~ I'm almost afraid to put our much larger bottoms in kayaks this summer. The getting in and out part could be quite embarrassing! We're in the process of acquiring a paddle boat, so we might just peddle our asses all around the cove, instead.
Ross wants a pontoon boat - that will likely be the next big purchase
Ina you must really love Kevin to pieces to do that. No way my flat butt would have gotten on that thing. Too scary for this delicate flower.
So... a happy movie would be one about birds eating fish, and then drowning? I'm just speculating.
sharon ~ You've met him. What's not to love?
Tracy ~ Dang. You just reminded me of a picture I need to post one of these days.
I think maybe a dolphin show where you are sitting on bleachers at Sea World or something is more up my alley.