If you've read any of my posts, you know that I'm really having trouble with the way that I'm thinking and eating right now. I'm obsessed with my weight and have a great fear of gaining weight. I am sometimes also tempted to go on a binge, and then I'll realize what I did and exercise too much to make up for it. I've exercised as much as 3 hours in one day.
Things have been really hard lately. I binged on Friday. It probably wasn't as bad as it could have been, and it was all "healthy" food. It's hard for me to tell if I've been working out too much, and my body just needs more food or if I'm just getting stressed and want to eat everything in sight. How are you supposed to know?
Of course, Saturday I then wanted to get on the scale, but my husband wouldn't let me. We ended up exercising a lot on Saturday, because it was a pretty day. At the end of the day, I felt like I was just so fat. I didn't eat THAT much, but my mind was still telling me I was fat.
Today is worst of all. I feel so fat. I know in my mind I probably haven't gained any weight, but my mind is also telling me I've gained 10 pounds in three or four days. My hubby won't let me get on the scale until tomorrow. I feel really depressed. I feel like going back to bed and staying there the whole day. I don't want to eat anything, because I feel like I've gained weight already.
I don't know why this has become such a struggle for me, but I'm having a really difficult time.
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