Finding Connections

This coming Monday, I will be heading to Marshall, MN to Southwest Minnesota State University to celebrate the life of one of my writing mentors, Bill Holm who passed away in February. I have spent more than my share of time wishing I had stayed better connected, and wondering how to walk back in the doors I walked away from years ago.

I loved being a Creative Writing major at SMSU, it was one of the few times in my life I really felt like I was part of something. I was no longer the crazy girl with the notebook -- or I was, but it didn't matter because everyone else had one too.

But still, even having that connection, my journey through college was a little different. I moved off campus my sophomore year, while still in school I was married, had two kids, divorced, and graduated - finally after six and a half years. I bypassed "home" (aka the Twin Cities) for another 2 1/2 years when I lived in Mankato, MN after graduation before moving into the northern suburbs of Minneapolis where much of my family lives. I plan on stopping in Mankato on the way to Marshall as well -- for practical as well as symbolic reasons.

In the years immediately following graduation I tried to keep some kind of connecton to at least a few people from college, but I haven't done very well. Life tends to get in the way, and after a while you wonder if any olive branch you might offer is too little too late. Even writing was sporatic eventhough it had been my lifeblood since I was little. Connecting with others has always been hard for me, but is that much easier if there's a story involved.

As part of my marketing strategy for my novel No Sensible People I've started making promotional index cards. On the front I have a picture of the cover with sales information, etc. and a review blurb. There's currently two versions of the back; one with an excerpt from the beginning of the book, and another with short character descriptions. I started leaving a few here and there in the Twin Cities, and I plan to drop some off in Mankato and Marshall. My little olive branches scattered in hopes that some people might go looking for the rest of the tree.

For me, good books strike a balance between escape and connection. They take you to new places, but at the some time give you an opportunity to look at a part of yourself you may have neglected. I've tried to do this with No Sensible People, and based on reactions I've received, I've done okay.

In the years of living in the city, raising kids older than most of my peers, and trying to get by, I've lost a lot of my connections -- or rather kept most of them only in memory. I've carried my olive branches in my pockets, and sometimes when I go to reach for them they are broken -- or even turned to dust. That is the frightening nature of connections. You can reach out, but the connection can only happen if someone else reaches back. And even when you find you're reaching out to empty air, it doesn't mean you stop trying. You never know when the hand that reaches back might surprise you.

Gretchen Lee Bourquin's Blog is syndicated weekly on

Gather.com, Wordpress, Associated Content, and her website. Her novel, No Sensible People, is available in paperback on Amazon.com or in print and download from Lulu.com. For further updates, please consider following her on Twitter.