Bare Moon (cinquain)

A 10 for you.

This is very thought provoking poem with multiple readings available. Thank you.

Interesting 2-4-4-4-2 format. I know there are many cinquain variations. Interesting thought as well.

John, how silly of me. First time I ever tried this form and a total screw up on my part. I did not read the instructions well enough. One of my most notable faults (See revised poem.)

As a poetry it is a success.

maddening platitudes

A very provocative cinquain of beauty, illusion, desire, and perception. I love the way you start with ¨Empty¨ and comment on this with ¨a lie.¨ We see what we want to see, right, Atticus? I loved this one.

Atticus, so much in so few words, where every one of them counts. And several contradictions of the words, such as "empty" vs. "light," giving light two meanings. I must try my hand at this, but the results won't be as beautiful, complex, and concise as this. Quite fine.

"I keep telling myself/orange can be a shade of blue"

As orange is a "day" color, while night to me is sort of a blue-black, I read this to mean that the narrator is trying to convince himself that he can see in the dark.

Or that he can see accurately by the light of the moon.

beauteous vortex~

Brilliant! :-)

Blessings and best wishes - S.

Thank you Leah, Umar, John Beck, poddar, Purrrrrrrrrrr, and Svetlana I appreciate your comments and your support so very much.

John W. and Andrea Thank you. Yes, we see what we want to see and it is hard to believe that the world does not feel like we do. Or rather it is hard not to want the world to feel like we do. It is all about perception. But the universe doesn't really care what we think. I know this poem is really broad-brushed play with the bones of poetry, but I like this form. It is really conducive to tight little contradictions. I started this one thinking about the poetic implications of the moon and what the light of the moon signifies: perception colored by emotion. So I wanted to write something simple about the moon stripped of the usual implications. Hence "Bare Moon".

Ann, Thank you for your comment. I view this poem as sort of a reversible emotional jacket and a study in contradiction and the nullification of contradiction. Empty/Vision, Night/Light, Orange/Blue, Telling Myself/A lie. And if you notice lines 1, 3, and 5 are negative while 2,and 4 are positive and I find myself reading this poem in several different ways that sort of flip back and forth between my emotional perspective and the ambivalence of the moon.

I'm impressed by the revised cinquain, Atticus. Great job.

Colors
Flickering sky
Thoughts flip flop like a coin
Mooning the moon singing of loon
Breathing

You inspire.

Oh Jan, thank you so much! Your "comment" is so much better even than my poem! I love it. You've made my morning! :-) [big smile.]