Even though not intelligent compared with other fellows, he's always been intelligent enough to see that women are attracted to fellows who make them laugh. Thus, when he was young, he would memorise the good jokes he heard in the playground, and memorise the jokes he heard on comedy programmes on the wireless, so that he could later recite them to girls in the hope that they would laugh.But they never did, and they always tried to escape him because they found him so dull and unfunny.
Image from the Telegraph (UK)
Occasionally, when with girls, he would say things off the top of his head which he thought funny, but, as with the jokes he recited, the girls never thought the things he said off the top of his head, funny either.
His never being able to make girls laugh, may also have been because what most people - let alone girls - think funny, he doesn't think funny. Like, he's been in theatres to see films which everyone there finds so, so funny, but which he finds not at all funny. He remembers particularly the film, "Blazing Saddles". This was, he now realises, nearly thirty-five years ago, so that many people reading this won't even have been born then. He remembers "Blazing Saddles", because everyone in the theatre was doubled-up laughing non-stop, so funny did they find "Blazing Saddles". But he didn't find "Blazing Saddles" funny at all. He remembers, during the film, looking around at all the laughing people as if he were an anthropologist, amazed they'd laugh at stuff so puerile as "Blazing Saddles."
Is why he doesn't find funny what North Americans find funny, because he didn't grow up in North America, and therefore has a different sense of humour? When he thinks more about it, even when he grew up in his Native Land (a landlocked English colony in the tropics) the girls in his Native Land found his attempts at being funny, as unfunny as do the girls here in North America. So the problem is him, not the girls.
However, whenever he's overheard a fellow saying things to a girl which made her laugh, he hasn't usually thought those things funny, and hasn't understood why the girl laughed. Is it because she liked the fellow anyway, and so laughed at what he said to make him feel good? So that if she hadn't liked him, and he'd said the same things, she wouldn't have laughed?
Image from Wikipedia
He feels sure, though, that Christopher Hitchens, being a smooth and prolific wordsmith, has always been able to make girls laugh. He has always admired Christopher Hitchens, and always wished he could write as eruditely and wittily as does Christopher Hitchens, so that girls reading his stuff would laugh, and would therefore be attracted to him. But, re-reading his own leaden and risible prose, he knows he's no Christopher Hitchens, and never will be. He isn't worthy even to gather the crumbs from under Christopher Hitchens' table, and never will be.
Oddly, he's been finding Christopher Hitchens' stuff a tad tiresome of late, as if he's read it a few times too many, and so needs a change. So, as with girls, the problem is him, not Christopher Hitchens.END AKISMET -->
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