Kids and the Scheduling Dilemma

Parents today may find themselves walking the fine line between offering exposure to various activities like sports, language classes, music lessons, and art, without over-programming their kids. Below are some common activities (and non-activities!) that your children might pursue, along with what they can get out of each.

Ideally, all children should be exposed to a few different physical activities such as soccer, tae-kwon-doe, gymnastics, swimming, tennis, ice skating, running, ballet, tap dance, and other dances—the list goes on. Both individual, as well as team sports, should be introduced so that each child can find one or more type of physical activity to pursue. Physical activities are important to keep your child fit, and they also teach eye hand coordination, survival skills (in the case of swimming), team cooperation, lessons on competition, and give the child a sense of the many ways to use his body. If your child is not particularly interested in sports, it is especially important to find at least one physical activity that he enjoys.

Many parents want to expose their child to another language early on. Sometimes a household may be bi- or tri-lingual so the effort is based at home. For others, it may mean an after-school program of some sort, whether it be lessons in Spanish, Hebrew, or Chinese.

Music is an incredibly important part of our culture, and as many schools have to cutback on electives, parents may want to supplement the school’s musical offerings (or lack thereof) with private or group lessons. Learning to play an instrument teaches a child to read music, get a sense of rhythm, and learn that it takes great discipline and devotion to master playing music.

Art and crafts are often a part of a school’s curriculum, but again, these days, the offerings may be limited. Woodworking, sewing, painting, drawing, or learning to appreciate good art are skills that should at least be introduced to your child.

The tricky part of cultural immersion is how to fit in all these classes and programs if they fall outside the school day. If both parents work, it is especially difficult to coordinate getting the child to the next activity. Some schools offer enrichment programs at the school after normal school hours are over, but the expense can be overwhelming.

A really important fact, not to be overlooked, is that children also need down time. Time to make believe, time to dream, time to be bored, time to lay back on the grass and watch the clouds pass overhead. Ask yourself whether your child is getting this important “empty” time. If not, talk with him about which activities he really enjoys and which he can give up. It’s important, too, to take your child’s individual needs into account. One child might like to do five different activities in the same week, while another might find two activities fulfilling but more than that overwhelming. It’s important to urge your child to try new things, but not to overwhelm him.

The balancing act is tricky, and parents feel pressure to make sure their child has acquired all the skills necessary to compete in today’s world. But down time also helps a child to develop inner resources and comfort with himself that will serve him well in the future. Put a hold on the play dates and scheduled activities once in a while to let your child figure out what to do on his own.

Dr. Victoria McEvoy graduated from Harvard Medical School in 1975 and is currently an Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at HMS. She is the Medical Director and Chief of Pediatrics at Mass General West Medical Group. She has practiced pediatrics for almost thirty years. She has been married to Earl for thirty six years and raised four children. She currently enjoys writing, traveling, reading, almost all sports, and spending time with her two grandsons.

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