On the weekends, I work at a church nursery. I used to really enjoy this job, but lately it has gotten on my last nerve. If our financial situation was better, I'd quit in a heartbeat.
We have a rule that no outside toys are allowed. This was because children were bringing toys and refusing to share. Since this is a church setting, this particularly bothered me. Despite the rule, children still come in with toys. This Sunday a little boy had 4 cars. Of course he got them out, played with them, and refused to share. When I told him to give me the cars, he looked me right in the eyes and said "No". We then had to physically pick him up and put him in time out. It makes me wonder what the parents are doing at home for him to think that it is okay to say "No" to an adult. We used to try to tell his parents when we had issues with him, but they always just blow it off, so we don't even bother anymore.
I feel bad for him, because he is going to have a lot of problems when he starts kindergarton in the Fall.
Have you ever had to deal with children who got little discipline at home? How did you handle it?
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Comments: 37
Also consider speaking with your pastor about the problem. It sounds like the substance of a powerful sermon. Short of that, get his/her buy-in on rules of the nursery, and let parents know that if their children are chronically uncooperative, they will asked to stay in the nursery to help maintain order by caring for their child. You simply can't be expected to care for all the children if one child is disruptive and uncooperative.
When Roshane was little we went to a music group together with people from my country. The lady who lived closest to us had a boy Roshane's age, and she would not discipline the boy at all. All the other moms did not invite the lady and her son to their group play dates, and I too tried to avoid spending time with them.
When we moved to Europe, the woman basically invited herself to come spend two days with us. Let me tell you it was horrible. In the end I had to tell her that if she could not discipline her child, I would have to do so when he was in my son's presence, as I would not allow him to beat up on my child.
The boys were 3 years old at the time, but the mother said that he was just being a boy when he was hitting and pushing other children at the playground.
This was the last time I every saw her, although she did send a letter with a half-apology in six months later.
Unfortunately, it's hard to get the pastor on board. I had to ask for the no-toy policy for 6 months, and they wouldn't listen to me until a child tried to beat up another child over a toy (I wasn't working when this happened).
They've implemented every suggestion I've made, but not until much later and after it became a huge problem. That's a huge reason of why I would love to quit - the nursery staff gets no support there!
Another suggestion is for you to look for opportunities to praise this problem child. Encouranging the behavior that is on the right track with enthusiastic praise (even if it's something relatively minor) can reinforce positive behavior and you might get him working towards earning more of it or - better yet - starting to fear losing it by behaving badly. It is likely that his non-responsive parents spend their time chastising him with no follow-through and that some positive attention might be just enough of a shock to his system to register.
In any case, best of luck to both of you.
I'm a huge fan of positive reinforcement!
Like do a show and tell, that is why they do show and tell in pre-school.
Unfortunately Larry, we don't get to do that!
There are plenty of non-physical ways to discipline children, especially when they are under the age of 5.
But if this is a repeat thing then, yeah it's a problem!
Though my daughter and her friend have been caught trying to sneak in toys where they don't belong. One day it's going to get me in trouble. I have to remember to ask them if there is anything in their hands or pockets before we go places but sometimes I forget.
This summer I have one little boy (4yo) that got mad when I put him in time out for playing with his food. When I asked him why he continued to play with his food after I told him he would go to time out for it, he responded, "I can get away with it with my mom."
A few years ago, I had a little girl from a room where the teacher left mid-year. They decided to split the kids up instead of finding a replacement teacher. One little girl always got in fights in that class and wouldn't listen. The first day in my room she hit another child. I looked at her and sternly said, "You may have done that in your other class, but this is MY class and we don't do that in here." She looked at me and said, "okay" and never had another problem with hitting.