We have all had to face that grizzly task of seeking employment. Some of us more that others. Have you ever wondered what companies were really saying with their ads? The creative devices and appealing words to attract you to apply for their positions? For those of you who will have to endure this undertaking now and/or in the future, below is a list of definitions to help you understand what companies really mean when they advertise for positions within their firm.
(Though many are true, these are meant to be funny.)
“CAREER-MINDED”
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way.)
“APPLY IN PERSON”
If you’re old, fat and/or ugly, you will be told the position has been filled.
“NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE”
We’ve filled the job. Our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
“SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE”
You’ll need it to replace three people who just left.
“PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST”
You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
“REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS”
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.
“GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS”
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
“COMPETITIVE SALARY”
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
“JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY”
We have no time to train you.
“CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE”
We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress nice.
“MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED”
You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day of work.
“SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED”
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
“DUTIES WILL VARY”
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
“MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL”
We have no quality control.
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Comments: 23
paying it forward
Thank you for sharing.
I found a job in a place where I'd worked a couple of years before. They kept lowering the pay and on the 4th time, I left. The ad stated that workers made more than I, the number 2 sales leader, had ever made. I went back, applied for the at home position and discussed it with the manager. They were requiring 2 weeks of full time work in the office at less than 1/2 the advertised rate of pay, before allowing the part-time at home work. Won't to guess how many people ever made it to the home position?
I think I work for all of them at my job!
I am the all doer! Lol.
Must be a team player You will kiss the boss's butt no matter how stupid his orders are or how bad they end up being for the team.
Must be willing to give 110% Must be willing to get burned out in 6 months.
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