TOP 8 MORONS OF 2008!!!!!!

<tt>1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? </tt>

<tt>> AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked</tt>

<tt>> Intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.</tt>

<tt>> Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.</tt>

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<tt>> 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS. Police in  Oakland, CA spent two hours</tt>

<tt>attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After</tt>

<tt>firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing</tt>

<tt>beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself</tt>

<tt>up.'</tt>

<tt>></tt>

<tt>> 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? </tt>

<tt>> An  Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced</tt>

<tt>him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where in the kidnapper</tt>

<tt>proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.</tt>

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<tt>> 4. THE GETAWAY!  A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for</tt>

<tt>all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied</tt>

<tt>up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police</tt>

<tt>showed up and grabbed him.</tt>

<tt>></tt>

<tt>> 5. DID I SAY THAT?  Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect</tt>

<tt>who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each</tt>

<tt>man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot',</tt>

<tt>the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'</tt>

<tt>></tt>

<tt>></tt>

<tt>> 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING? A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is</tt>

<tt>pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first</tt>

<tt>child?' the Doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'</tt>

<tt>></tt>

<tt>> 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In  Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was</tt>

<tt>arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King</tt>

<tt>used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep</tt>

<tt>his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!</tt>

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<tt>> 8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! </tt>

<tt>> Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east</tt>

<tt>of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter</tt>

<tt>how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It</tt>

<tt>was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they</tt>

<tt>applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby</tt>

<tt>marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A</tt>

<tt>thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The</tt>

<tt>engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the</tt>

<tt>correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check</tt>

<tt>underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.</tt>

<tt>></tt>

<tt>> NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place,</tt>

<tt>was the trailer! </tt>

<tt>></tt>

<tt>> HAVE A NICE DAY!</tt>