I'm a pretty calm person most of the time, or so I'm told (which is why when I show mock anger, people cower) (I'm not saying that's bad). But there are several things, all of them completely inconsequential, which drive me to paroxysms of rage, or as close as I come to it.
In no order...
1) People who don't understand Merging Onto A Freeway; who don't seem to get that traffic on the freeway is whizzing by at 60+ mph and it's really, really in everyone's best interests to get the hell out there and join in. Entering a freeway at 12 mph is never acceptable, unless the freeway traffic is in fact moving at a rate within 5 mph of a 12 mph average speed. But no; nearly every time I try to get on the freeway (which is five days a week, twice a day), I'm stuck behind someone just moseying along, la la la, they'll let me in and won't ram me... Well, I might ram you. And neither that feeling nor that course of action will be good for me. (I don't really care if it's good for them.)
2) People who will not make eye contact or smile or acknowledge your existence when face-to-face in hallways, elevators, etc. I'm not talking heart-to-heart tête-à-têtes here, although I do hope you appreciate the number of hyphens in this paragraph. I'm talking just ordinary two-second courtesy. "Hey." But no, because increasingly, people are no damn good. (Keep in mind, I live in the South; so we take this sort of courtesy for granted. In fact, a co-worker who spent a few years living up in Boston said that when she announced she was moving back home, several people came to her before she left to comment on how friendly and good-natured she was. Her incredulous response to them was, "What are you used to?")
3) Drive-up window workers. Yes, I know. Hard job. Bad microphones. I get it. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about my long-held habit of speaking clearly and slowly into the microphone, to utterly no avail.
"May I take your order?"
"I'd like a Number 3 with a medium Diet Coke, please, and that's all."
(Yes, I really do say please and thank you.)
(...pause...) "Okay, could you repeat that?"
"Yes. I'd like a Number 3 with a medium Diet Coke, please."
(...pause...) "Number 5?"
"No, a Number 3, please."
(...pause...) "A number 3?"
"Yes."
(...pause...) "And what kind of drink?"
"Diet Coke."
(...pause...) "Okay, that's a Number 3 with a Coke?"
"No, Diet Coke, please."
(...pause...) "A Number 3 with a Diet Coke?"
"That's right."
(...pause...) (... wait for it...) "Anything else?"
"No, thanks."
(...pause...)
(...pause...)
(...pause...) "Pull around for your total, sir."
The most challenging exchange I ever had was the morning I was ordering two McMuffins--one for breakfast, and one for lunch later because I'd been too lazy to fix a proper lunch at home. (Oh, shut up about my taste in breakfast food. The Sausage-Egg McMuffin is one of the greatest culinary inventions since cheese popcorn and I'm not taking any crap off you nay-sayers). (But I digress.) I placed my order, listened to the chirpy girl, and watched the screen. The total was $3 something, much too low--she had me down for one McMuffin; I corrected her. The total went up to $6 but that was too high; I corrected her. By the time the total got up to $12 I was terrified and just pulled around to speak to her face-to-face lest I have to take out a loan and maybe rent a U-Haul. (Oh, and but no, because I did that in the previous two sections.)
4) The explosive way water comes out of the tap when it's working again after having been shut off. Hate that. Even when I'm expecting it, I still jump about three feet, feel stupid, and then jump back again the next time the mini-explosion happens. Hate it. Hate it. HATE IT. I should be used to it (apartment complex life; little-known clause in the lease which reads "we will randomly shut off water whenever we feel like it for the express purpose of causing you cardiac arrest when it comes back on"), BUT NO. Oooh, I just remembered coming home one night to find a note (which I still possess, and cherish) from the office telling us all the water would be off the next day and to keep in mind that when it came back on it might run brown for a while, and "we apologize for any incontinence this may cause." I believe I howled right there on my own doorstep.
Dang it, now I'm not mad anymore.
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Comments: 42
Rage against the system I say! It's March!
Adrian -- too cold to rage (see, I told you I was calm) but I'll work on it!
I'd downloaded Gretchen Wilson's Redneck Woman , and it was very shrill and startling when it went off, even though my phone is always muffled in my pocket. Add to that the fact that I always have it on vibrate, since my OCD issues have me fearful of missing a call, and the resulting shrill tone with vibrations can make me jump at many odd times, many times a day.
A couple of weeks ago, I was putting on my mascara when my phone shrilly screamed at me in my pocket and vibrated against my leg. I nearly put my eye out with the mascara wand and had the black goo all over my face. I didn't think it was so funny any more and finally got around to changing the tone to something softer.
ha ha ha ha ha - it's so hard to be angry when they make you laugh THAT hard !!!
(we aren't friendly in Mpls, like that - either we're too busy - and there's too many people, or we just got tired. We all know we are all there. We don't seek attention. The Somalians (especially) actually act so stand-offish you would think they were rude and mean if you wanted some smiles and nods along the way. You aren't getting it.)
And those jerks who have nothing better to do than stare at you all the while grinning like they know something you don't.
Oh and what about the neighbor with the motion light sensor on his back porch and the hyper-active dog he leaves out at night, Yeah the light that shines into your bedroom window.
Now I'm mad ! ; )
I remember on the farm we would actually WAVE at any passing tractor and they would wave back !!! ha ha
Nancy & ... er ... Nancy -- I'm glad my feeble wrath could amuse, and I'm interested in trying that gibberish trick.
Kay, that could explain my problems. (I have learned to check the bag before I drive off.)
Vivian, I'm sorry! This morning I let a car merge on to the freeway in front of me and he promptly dropped down to 38 mph. It took all my strength not to speed up and send him flying.
Doug?
Peter & Ina & Bunny -- it was when I reread the note that the "might run brown" line became even funnier. :-)
Laela and Ann (who hasn't even commented yet, but she will) -- a) you like polenta, so you like grits, now shaddup, and b) people who have not had grits in decades and never more than a bite DON'T GET TO VOTE, SO SHADDUP!! Okay, now I've GOT MY WRATH ON!!
Hee Hee
(You should also know that I'm sitting in a coffee shop as I've been reading this, and I laughed so OUT LOUD that I got looks from the entire place. It's all your fault, Tracy!)
As for the merging thing, apparently different states have different rules. In Ohio, you speed up and merge ... whether anyone else wants you to ... and it's the job of the people on the main road to avoid killing you. In Pennsylvania, you try to merge but if there isn't room, you come to a full stop and wait for a really long space so you can get up to speed. In some states, it's a law that you have to move over to let people merge. In PA you're on your own, sukka! :)
I am learning to really really hate drive throughs as my ears age and my temper shortens. @#$#@ stupid @#$#@'er why don't they get you some @#$#@ equipment that @#$#@ works. Of course, being the sweet grandma that I am, I only say that after I've rolled up my window and moved on.
Tracy, you should be happy that it's just mini water explosions that make you jump like that. Almost ANY sudden, unexpected loud sound or movement makes me jump and emit my own loud, unexpected sound. My children make fun of me
#4... Yep, never going to get used to that volcanic eruption of water, out the end of the faucet
I had to repeat my order three times once. All because they said they couldn't hear me even though I practically shouted the second time.
And, one lady actually told me to slow down. When I was not even talking that quickly.
OMG!
If you like people to make eye contact with you. Then, you'd not want to see me on a street. Because when I get focused on where I'm going, I sometimes tune others out. Mainly because I fear they will expect idle chit chat. And, I hate that!
I too dislike those who think if they go extra slow on the Freeway, then all will be well. I mean, hello! Going too slow can cause accidents just as much going too fast.
And, believe it or not, it's against the law to go too much under the speed limit.
Say the speed is 55 and you're going 25, you can get a ticket.
Because it's dangerous.
Luckily, I never had the problem with water being shut off continuously when I lived in an apartment with my hubby (He was only my boyfriend then). So, I can't relate to your water fear.
#1- You live in Arkansas, where they have those screwy quasi-merge things to get onto the highway in about 12 feet. You have a right to be angry. If you survive.
#2- Think of F..... and Duh-W.... Do you really want EVERYONE to greet you?
#3- It's your accent. Not Southern enough.
#4- The brown water IS the incontinence.
One time I had a service issue with satellite TV service. I had to describe my problem to a machine, When the machine couldn't figure it out, I was put on hold until a representative finally came on. He told me to reset the system. I told him I'd done that already. He said to do it again. I did and the problem temporarily went away. He said to call back if it happened again. I asked if I would have to go through the whole thing with the robot again when I called back. You guessed it: he said "Yes". After going through this several evenings I finally got to someone who knew what the problem was and authorized a service call to replace the box
:-)
Now this is further screwed up by the fact that these two lanes that are merging into one are also then merging onto Interstate 5 in downtown Seattle...
To make matters worse, shortly after this on-ramp you get yet another lane added into the mix so it's about four lanes going into one!
This friend sufferes from a simply mild case of road rage - but has never causes any issues on the road - she spouts verbally to get through it all. I told her one of these days she would have a giant stroke.
So a month or so ago, she gets pulled over for changing lanes.
Long story short the attorney got the reckless driving charges down to improper lane change and the points didn't go on her license and she didn't suffer a stroke!
E3
What gets me mad:
Por Ingles, marquez el dos.