I Am Very Upset, But Need To Let It Go And Let God..........

I saw that post and didnt comment because i wasnt sure she would want to hear what i have to say. I thought about you and how that post had to hurt you:( Instead of being so upset about staying in your house she should have been thankful that you took her and her son in. Even if some of her food went missing oh well at least they had a roof over their heads. When you live in someone elses house you should bend over backwards to make their lives easier as they are doing you a huge favor by allowing you to stay. She should also be sure to not burn her bridges with you guys because life has a funny way of throwing young teens back home with their parents. The real world can be tough especially when you are her age and with a child. Don't let it bring you down, you did a great thing letting them stay there. One day she will realize it too.

Tough love will help her grow up and see how very hard it is to keep a household. They never really learn until they HAVE to do it themselves.

Diane, i totally understand....the same thing happened in my house..my son and his girl that he had dated for almost 5 years moved into the extra room in the basement so we could help them get their money situation settled. They were slobs, didnt help with anything and didnt think twice about leaving lights on, tv's going all night long, etc.
We treated and thought of her like a daughter....finally my son and I had a big disagreement about respect and i told him if he didnt like the rules, he could move out. So they did..and she posted on her facebook on how glad she was to be out..they moved in with her mother and that lasted about 3 months...my son hated it so much he moved back home and him and his girl split up..she is now living with her dad and my son has a new girlfriend and is moving to Florida. I know it hurts...it upset me too..but then I got mad and that felt better...There are no grandbabies involved, which makes a big difference.
hang in there..she is just immature and selfish..things will get better..and I'll bet someday she will say thank you!

As Danielle says tough love.

I am so sorry to hear about this. It isn't easy taking care of everything that needs to be taken care of, and the lack of gratitude for any support you have given tells me they need to do some maturing. Taking care of things themselves out to do the trick pretty quick!

Thanks, all I was very hurt, and so upset, I reallly miss little Justin. Levi came over the other day. He does not even know about the article. i called him after reading it, and her and I got in a argument. I am sure he will be over today, as it is Sunday.

i know how you feel

Ugh, Diane, I feel what you are going through. Hang in there, she will learn the error of her words soon enough as reality sets in for her.

She's young and ungrateful, and some lessons people have to learn the hard way. Oh, she will, and she'll be very sorry she felt that way, and you know, of course, you'll have to forgive the indiscretion of her youth.

I have a nephew like that. Don't know if I'll ever see him again. At least you ended the post with some good thoughts

i was in those shoes once. i had a baby at 17 and was used to having everything given to me. I lived with my Boyfriend (at the time) parents as well.... and i never lifted a finger. She was always so frustrated with me. I look back and see how self centered i was. She was always there to help me take care of my son (her grandson) and what not and did so much for us... but back then i guess i expected it. Now that im on my own its a whole different ball game! You learn to appreciate things more. Now that i am independent i dont ever want to go back to being dependent upon anyone!!!

She will grow up one day and will have to learn things the hard way. Just know in your heart that you helped all you could.

Not everyone grows up and realizes what they should have done. We can't wait on someone else to realize what their mistakes are. We have to figure out what we can and can not live with and then do what is necessary. We don't have to like it and it rarely is easy. Don't give her the power by letting her upset you. Accept the fact that you did what you could and what you had to and rest assured that you have nothing to feel ashamed over. Hold your head up high and do not allow her the power to make you feel bad.

My daughter and three grandchildren have recently moved in with us. She does not appreciate anything that my husband or I do. So we have had to learn to accept what we can not change and change what we truly need to change.

If you need a friendly ear, I'm only an email away.

D, remember the girl is only 17 years old. She doesn't have the experience you or I have. Don't be too hard on her. I can't say "god bless" or anything because I'm an atheist. I struck out on my own at 17 only because of family problems (none like what your going through with her...mine were because of abuse). My family had taught me nothing...they had even taught me that I should throw away tax at tax time instead of filing them (thank goodness my husband had told me different the 1st year on my own). I started work at 14 and have worked ever since. She will need guidence. Don't take it so bad...she might want to be on her own, although she will find how hard it is. I keep reading where everyone is attacking her...that's not right. She's still a child. Don't get me wrong, she should help clean when she can. We all have expected teens to grow into adults without them experiencing it for them selves and call them names or what have you. I am NOT bashing or taking sides. I just would like you and everyone to just keep in mind that she is 17 and never been on her own. Right now I am living with my mother in law because our house was foreclosed and car repoed and we are filing backruptsy...all because in 2007 a woman I worked with wanted my position at the job and I was not christian and finally got me out of there (I know this because she said it to my face.) My mother in law knows I can't wait to get out on my own again. She also knows its not against her, Im just use to being on my own with my husband and I love being independent. She's understanding cause she's been through it herself before. I have a 2 month old and I try to make money on internet to help my husband (who gives her money and try to save for a place of our own and a car), I also help around the house. It's difficult cause there are days when my son needs all my attention and I have to struggle just to sneak off to bathroom because he's crying and I'm only one at home at the time.
I hate to say it but she'll figure out this on her own the hard way. Just keep in mind she's 17 and not 29 like me. Since I was abused (wont say how) I always drove myself hard to get things on my own and make a plasce all my own in this world. I had a brand new car and house by the time I was 24...all on our own with noones help. I wish I would have had someone to guide me (not money wise), but I am smarter and stronger and know how to treat ppl because I had no choice but to learn things on my own. when families live together eventually turmoil is the result and frustration. If god is where you find your strength then seek comfort there for a lil while. Soon she'll loose the high school attitude. And from speaking from personal experience...you can't make everyone happy. You tried and you should be proud of that. She needs to just rant and she'll probably be alright with you. Just remember there is a lil innocent baby that needs all of you...he's stuck in the middle of all this. I wish you, your son, the baby, and family the best and hopefully everyone will be fine for yourselves and especially the baby. Good luck.

by the way, everyone needs to keep in mind that just because someone does not say it or show it does not mean they don't appreciate things. Some have a diff way of showing it, especially kids and teens. We are made diff.

im sorry. i hope things will work out

Sorry to hear things are so rough right now, I think she will come around and realize where you were coming from. It definitely isn't easy being a parent. She soon will find that out on her own. Just be there for them and they will come around.

I am sorry she wrote such a hurtful post. Heres a big hug. YOu are a wonderful person to take someone in your home when you did. You didn't have to.

I'm sorry to hear that. I had a similar situation and now they realize just how tough it is to be out on their own. We can laugh about it now.

D., just rest in the assurance that you did what you could for them. Yes, she is only 17 - but you have a reponsability to help her (and your son), to realize that life is hard. They have taken on the role of parents at an early age, which guarentees that life will be very hard for awhile indeed. Everyone is accountable for the decisions and actions they take, and for the consequences of those actions - no matter what their age. You and your husband took them in - whether out of love, a feeling of obligation, or whatever - it was a generous thing to do. I feel that God values your actions, even if your grandson's mom does not - at that this time. I agree with many of the others in the group, in time she will realize what a blessing your hospitality was to her and Justin. I'll pray that God allows your family to continue to have access to Justin - he needs his Grandparents and Uncle and Aunt to be a part of his life.

You have my sympathy my friend!

ALOT OF HUGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ YOUR WAY
YOU KNOW I TRUELY LOVE YOU SUNSHINE

Diane, When I read her post I knew it was one that would upset you. Try to look at both sides of the issue. I know you will be more able to see both sides than she is. I have had several of my grown children move in and out of my home. None of them felt they should have had to pay to live with us or clean up after themselves. The younger generation has such a sense of entitlement. I don't know how they developed it but it seems most of the under 3o crowd has it. Didn't you know parents are suppose to take in their kids and happily clean up after them and provide food and shelter expecting nothing in return. I remain quiet in my own home more often than I should. Recently I started objecting to how I am spoken to and guess what? I am now a bitch. One of my daughters moved out of here after disagreeing with me about how the chores should be split. She moved in with her boyfriends mom and the same pattern is repeating there. Some of these kids never learn.
I don't think she meant to hurt you. I think she just can't see things from your point of view. This is a difficult situation and hopefully you can get past it. Unfortunately you will more than likely have to be the one that mends the fence. I am sorry your being hurt this way. You deserve to be treated better.

THANKS FOR SHARING..

I too can't stand opportunists who move in on you , no matter what the relationship, and expect all to be taken care of. You will be fine!

missing something is she on gather or read it somehwere else,,
sorry yet kids be kids,, my son alway tell me he hates Ne and cant wait to leave(in May for Army) I laugh underneth thinking he will be homesick sooner then he thinks....

she will soon realize the stress and responsibility it takes to run a household... try to remember how young she is... i know it hurts you to hear it, though...

I remember 17yrs. I was so young yet I thought I was so grown up. I hope things work out for you. It hurts to be helpless in a situation that you can not change. Good luck to you

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I hope all works out in the end as I'm sure it will. pif

Diane, I don't blame you for being upset. So sorry she put you through this.