by Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom'
Member since:
April 25, 2007

Woman~ 50 words

March 02, 2009 03:35 PM EST (Updated: March 02, 2009 05:53 PM EST)
views: 164 | rating: 10/10 (22 votes) | comments: 34

Woman gives affection

when man presents - the passion,

giving half of her heart

kissing each victory, as his inspiration.

 

Woman carries the sacred water

when man ploughs a field,

sowing seeds of generations

melting in words, poet's first imagination.

 

See her kohl-smudged eyes

wiping tears

hiding

healing

surviving

 

 

(written for my group prompts woman~50 words)

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Comments: 34

Cristina S. Mar 2, 2009, 3:37pm EST
Bhawana, this is great!
Svetlana Goryacheva Mar 2, 2009, 3:38pm EST
Brilliant! :-)

Love and hugs - S.
elizabeth e. Mar 2, 2009, 3:39pm EST
"Woman carries the sacred water

when man ploughs a field,

sowing seeds of generations

melting in words"

So true, Buzz...so true.
ChrisJerri S. Mar 2, 2009, 3:40pm EST
Very beautiful description.
t b. Mar 2, 2009, 3:41pm EST
This is nice Bhawana.
Kay M. Mar 2, 2009, 3:44pm EST
This is lovely. I like this "sowing seeds of generations"
JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Mar 2, 2009, 3:55pm EST
We are all that and so much more! YAY for us!

Nice write, Buzzzzz..........
Kimber L. Mar 2, 2009, 3:57pm EST
Excellent
William Dotani Mar 2, 2009, 4:12pm EST
The first two stanza are so airy, positive and creates such a beautiful feeling that your third stanza crushed me.
Gary (aka: William Pinn) J. Mar 2, 2009, 4:27pm EST
Whoa! Excellent!
phil w. Mar 2, 2009, 4:44pm EST
Excellent, Buzzy. Tender.
Elsie Duggan Mar 2, 2009, 5:06pm EST
Wonderful Bhawana, I am sure sincerely expressed in your heart.
Marge H. Mar 2, 2009, 5:19pm EST
Wow! Just excellent Bhawana!!!
KC Klein Mar 2, 2009, 5:22pm EST
Nicely done
Linda G. Mar 2, 2009, 5:30pm EST
nice job! Thanks
Alison H. Mar 2, 2009, 5:39pm EST
Wonderful imagery and sentiments, Buzzy. I see what William says. Perhaps there is something you could say at the beginning of the third stanza, to begin with:"Woman........" but it is still beautiful as is.
David W. Mar 2, 2009, 5:46pm EST
In truth, there is nothing like a woman and you showed us that in only fifty words.
donna h. Mar 2, 2009, 5:56pm EST
very good
Lisa Frost Mar 2, 2009, 6:33pm EST
this is wonderful. I wish I had time to write lately. I am missing writing so much. Too much school work!
Granny Janny H. Mar 2, 2009, 6:40pm EST
I disagree with William. I see sadness in every stanza...
only half a heart..his victory, not hers
carrying the sacred water...birthing the children, nurturing the children
all the time, subservient and working hard
Courtney C. Mar 2, 2009, 7:23pm EST
Very nice
Marianne M. Mar 2, 2009, 8:45pm EST
Love this one, Bhawana!
Kathryn E. Mar 2, 2009, 8:47pm EST
really nice, Buzzy.

Featured in the Triple Name Club.
Angela A. Mar 2, 2009, 9:52pm EST
You are truly gifted dear friend!
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
JOHN BECK Mar 2, 2009, 11:25pm EST
Great metaphor. I agree with Granny Janny.
lynn a. Mar 2, 2009, 11:39pm EST
Buzzy, there are times when someone is able to write the TRUTH so painfully brutally that I can almost not stand it, and this is one of those times. This is exquisite in its truth and its honesty.
necee t. Mar 3, 2009, 1:02am EST
wow, Bhwana...this is awesome...

love and Blessings...
Tim T. Mar 3, 2009, 4:32am EST
= ) 10!!!!!!!
Kushal Poddar Mar 3, 2009, 9:15am EST
Second stanza is the new Veda from now on.

Another day with rain
Sheila Deeth Mar 3, 2009, 10:18pm EST
Sad beautiful. Always half and always knowing.
Susy R. Mar 4, 2009, 10:31am EST
Wow that was awesome! True poetry :0)
William Dotani Mar 9, 2009, 2:04am EDT
Okay, Granny and John are half right, no! I must challenge them to a duel in a cranberry bog. Of course in our bathing suits (for the cameras) at high noon tomorrow. Start without me if I am late.
John F Walter Mar 13, 2009, 3:57am EDT
We celebrated International Woman´s Day with full vigor here in Andalucía, Bhawana, going to films directed by women at an all women´s film festival; taking part in a women´s pride parade; and seeing a local artist´s paintings on plaster corsets of her breasts and stomach.
I enjoyed the yin and yang of this poem, your sensitive appreciation of how men and women fit together in the world of samsara that is our ongoing simulation of both heaven and hell.

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