A Day in New York City - Yesterday, or HOW I TURNED INTO SUPER BITCH

Yesterday.

Up early. Out early. Sun shining, but we knew a storm was coming. We had committed to seeing a college in New York, so we couldn't change plans on the spur of the moment. The beautiful cold, clear day gave way to rain. At least, it wasn't snow, we told ourselves.

The drive into New York wasn't bad. It has been worse. It will be worse, we told ourselves, coming back. More on that later.

We got into Greenwich Village nearly an hour before our appointment. Usually, when I go to New York (or anywhere), I am on my own schedule, not subject to the travel preferences of other people.

My idea of spending time is to sit in a Starbucks for an hour sipping coffee. None of you have been with me when I am low on caffeine. I wouldn't recommend you ever to try to be with me under those conditions.

My husband's idea was to walk around the village. It was raining, mind you. And quite cold. I had brought my winter coat (faux mink) and sneakers, rather than low heeled shoes. I just had a feeling we might be doing a ton of walking. Oh yeah.

My caffeine debt was building up something fierce. The walk was interesting. I hadn't spend much time in the village in a looong time.

Our appointment went well. A basic tour of a certain art school. However, the fashion program tour was not in Greenwich Village. It was in midtown, near Times Square. And it was full. And bound to start a few minutes after the first tour ended.

I said: Don't worry, I'll get us a cab. Pronto. I darted out in traffic in my faux mink and held up my right arm, to "HAIL a CAB." Two Yellow Cabs pointed right in my direction within a split second. The second cab, seeing I was already taking the first cab, sped off just as quickly as he sped to the curb. It took about 20 minutes to get to Midtown. Par for the course.

We found that nobody had showed up for the tour. We went on the Fashion tour, in the building where Project Runway is filmed.

Yes, I am talking about Parsons. The tour was very interesting.

My mood went south, progressively, minute by minute, the entire afternoon.

Caffeine debt. Big time.

It was now very cold and pelting huge drops of rain. We walked a block or three directly to Times Square, where we ate.

Waiter: How are things tonight witch yuz guys?
Me: Coffee. Now.
Husband: Just give her an IV drip.
Me. Please.
Waiter: I'm going to hold onto that line.
Me: And water all around. LARGE Coffee. Lots of cream. No sugar. Now. Please.

Waiter brought the coffee.

Husband: You are really bitchy.
Me: Caffeine withdrawal. Haven't had coffee since 7 a.m. Only one cup. I'll be better after my coffee.

Dinner was fine but tres cher.

Hubby had a marvelous idea for saving money: let's not take a cab, let's not take the subway, let's walk.

35 blocks back to the Village? No effin way.

Fine he said, take your own cab. No effin way.

Husband said: I thought you said you'd be less bitchy after the coffee.

Me: I lied. It is cold and raining. My coat and shoes are soaked, and I have a briefcase and a pocketbook to carry, and an umbrella. People keep poking my eyes out with their umbrellas.

I walked the distance. We got the car. I had a Red Bull and fell asleep in the car.

The drive back took 6 hours. It was snowing in Massachusetts.

But today, I am doing much better.

But as soon as I finish this article, I am making a NEW POT OF COFFEE with my new coffeemaker.

Without coffee, I am SUPER BITCH.