with my mom passing away i feel so empty.... it's like i dont want to do anything...
i know she is not in any pain and i sould be relived not so sad but i miss her so much she wasnt just my mom but my best friend..... and i know she would want me to be strong... but how... all i keep thinking is why her why my mom shes the grandest... the best in the world she would do anything for anyone she made everyone laugh she always had a smile on her fast even when she was mad i told her everything EVERYTHING now i dont know who to tell my everthing thing to when i am not at her house i just want to pick up the phone and call her i used to call her at least 15 times a day now i dont have not one to call This SUCKS!! thats all i know thats all i know my heart is broke eeeerrrrrr and i cant stop crying.... i really wish there was a phone to heaven
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Comments: 34
{{{{HUGS}}}}
HUGS to you tonight.
What you are doing right now is the best thing, as you are putting words on your feelings. The worst thing you can do is keep everything bottled up.
I lost my mother in May 2007, and I went through many different emotional times. It took me a year to get to a place where I was comfortable with the fact that I would never see my mom again. Ever since she did it feels as if she has been right here with me though. One thing that helped me was having one of her favorite scarfs hanging in my house, as this made she feel like she was even closer.
This is a time for you, perhaps, to plod through the kind of 'no man's land' of feelings, the bland and rocky landscape of emotions and just running on instinct. Trust yourself. You will do the right thing, the right thing for you.
There will be a way through. I'm not one to lurch towards the church, as well meaning and as noble the people there might be. This may be a time when you feel lost but you'll still want to feel some sort of autonomy, some way of finding out what you can do, how you CAN cope.
I can only suggest a couple of things. You will no doubt, find you'll need to talk to anyone who will listen. That's quite normal, even if you're not usually a chatterbox! If you can find a group over there in the US which does that sort of thing, bereavement counselling and so on, then you may find it helps; on the other hand, if you find it's too sad for you, maybe a dear friend will have the patience to listen, in moderation.
It may help to write down your feelings each day, pour out your feelings on paper, without inhibition; curse the page, say anything and everything, tell the page how absolutely horrible you feel, how crap life is (say things which might even make you blush!), draw pictures of your stress and anguish, paint a picture, splash the colour about, scrape the paint until it really describes how bitter and awful you feel. How dare Fate deal you this card! Tell it how it is! You'll feel ANGRY, then weepy, then depressed, then OK, then angry again. It doesn't matter, just be true to yourself.
You may find your outpourings will change, will get easier to put down, easier to explain. One day, in the future beyond now, you'll know you are dealing with the feelings a little better.
At some time when you're able and it feels the right thing to do, you may want to write to your mother, tell her how you still feel about her, how life is since she went, how you are coping, or not quite coping. Have a dialogue with your mother. But when you are ready. It might be worth a try.
I wish you well.
Peace.
i'm sorry for your loss.
I hope your grief turns to happy memories soon.
What about a Pastor? If you call any church around there and tell them what you're going through, I'm sure they would reach out to you and help you through it. If you're not sure which church, email me and I'll call you and try to find one for you.
I can't stand to think of you going through this alone.
I'm praying for you. God knows you and cares about you. He does respond to prayer.