Once upon a time in Chicago there was a young man named Johnny Red Kerr who was a very good basketball player. Although everyone believed he would take the Chicago Bulls far, his first love, the one that really mattered, was dancing the samba.
Even as a marine, Kerr could never let go of the thrill he felt whenever someone put on some samba music, he would smile, sometimes only to himself and then nod to the beat, and before anyone knew it, he was sambaing around the marine barracks. This he did for love. The adoption of the Sussex spaniel (winner of the Westminster Dog Show) he did for the admiration of Lauren Lask. When he lived at home, his four brothers they would always laugh at his samba dancing (they did not have music in their cruel hearts) and at one point made a video in which they titled 'Jeremy Lask Video' so that Lauren's husband, I mean brother, would have a giggle as well.
To insure that the video didn't fall into the wrong hands, Kerr gave Jeremy Lask a pomegranate phone. Unfortunately, after the gift of the phone, the Sussex spaniel he had purchased to impress Lauren Lask was run over (more like dragged four blocks, to finally lrest, permanently one can imagine, in front of an Olive Garden) by a driver of a fuel efficient car, mere hours after the dog won at Westminster. The irony was that the Sussex spaniel was run over by a PETA organizer wearing a KKK robe who was at the show to prove a point about animal cruelty. Kerr lucked into of ownership of a another dog, an affenpinscher, although he was unsure what the hell it was. His other choices were a Tibetan mastiff with a hearing problem or a Brussels griffon with a bald spot and surgically enhanced balls.
Sadly, the affenpinscher didn't last very long either, Demetri Martin ran it over in his environmentally responsible automobile - he was dressed as a PETA Westminster protester dressed as clansman dressed as the Fourth Earl of Penbrook...or at least that was he said, the truth was that he had a hot date with Kelly Clarkson (word on the street was that she dug men dressed as PETA protesters, dressed as clansmen, dressed as English Earls). Martin was in a hurry because Clarkson and he were going to rush home to goof on the Nadia Octuplets.
In the middle of writing this I have discovered that Jeremy Lusk was a freestyle motocross athlete who died from head injuries. So my thoughts are with him and his family. If you can't tell yet, I'm writing a story involving SEO (Search Engine Optimizer). I'm changing his, and his wife's, last name to Lask.
Martin felt so bad that he ran over Kerr's affenpinscher, that he invited Kerr to join Kelly and him for a quiet evening of clan robe wearing, popcorn munching, and watching the mother of the octuplets interview. Instead their plans were derailed by a tornado warning and a phone call from Princess RiRi, to tell Martin something very private. While Martin talked to Rihanna, Clark and Kerr amused themselves by reading back issues of the Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition searching by the off chance that Rihanna's picture would be in it. Alas, they found no pictures of Rihanna.
Afterwards, Clark and Martin made brownies while Kerr danced the samba, a forbidden version, for them. Later, on the recommendation of Chuck Manigone, they all watched 'Enchanted April'. Kerr couldn't help it, he wept at the end.
Sarah Palin, abortion, and tofu. ☺☻
Westerfield © 2009