I don't usually do this, but I need help. So this is not a piece of writing, it's a request for suggestions...
The issue: I smoke. Even when I'm not on fire.
The problem: I smoke outside
This may not seem like a problem but here's the thing.
A) I have ADHD out the ying-yang, so I have to get up and wander, a lot.
B) I love to be in and out, all day long. Checking out the day, watching the birds, listening to the black pine falling on my power lines.
Trouble is, for some unfathomable reason, I don't go outside unless I have a reason: Smoking. Without it, I just wander around the house. Go figure. So I can deal with the nicotine withdrawal, the oral fixation, the glamor deprivation, it's the going walkabout I can't live without.
Did I mention I need to quit? No? See, not a linear thinker...
What I need: Something I can do instead of smoke.
It must take me outdoors,
It must be portable,
It must be all-weather,
It must be something that will call to me several times a day.
It must be something I can do with my hands.
Suggestions, Anyone?
If you can't be helpful, for god's sake, be funny! Save this post and my reputation!
To quote RuPaul, Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!
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Comments: 59
Best of luck.
Free-lance writer solution: Walk down to mailbox, see if rejection letter has arrived.
80's exercise solution: Dork-walking with "Heavy Hands" weights.
Ewell Gibbons solution: Forage for edible plants. Problem: Many mushrooms are fatal, and calamine lotion tastes awful if you don't know what poison ivy looks like.
Favorite smoking joke:
Q: Do you smoke after sex?
A: I don't know, I never looked.
Ba-da-bing.
*waddles away for a few hours*
Get a BIG wide sun hat. Get a big wide rain hat. Get a walking stick (something to do with one hand, anyway). If you don't smoke you'll find you can buy all sorts of other things like that.
Just think of all the novels you could buy if you didn't smoke.
(and novels aren't slow death like tobacco - most, anyway)
I suck at paddle ball.
But great suggestions!
Con, I'll have to mail out some stuff so I can get rejection letters. It's half a mile to the mailbox and back, so maybe I won't be waddling after a few months.
But hats, like shoes, are always a major draw.
(and for something to become a NEW habit you have to first do it enough times in a row, for a long enough time, for your brain to rewire enough so that it can say to itself "oh this is what we do now")
Ba Bing! As Con would say....
I could be an herb garden, a vegetable garden (save even more $$ !),
a flower garden, or build yourself a portable green house and create a butterfly garden or a humming bird garden.... Keep your hands busy digging, planting, weeding, harvesting, building squirrel /rabbit/ deer deterrents (depending on what your local wildlife pest is). Winter? Build a snow sculpture garden, make a snow person community... just be careful talking to the snow people is fine, until they answer you back!
Unfortunately, that stuff doesn't agree with me. Unless you meant poppy seeds. I'd have to plant a big 'ol field of them. The DEA helicopters would be on me like white trash on velveeta, but it might be worth it. Flowers are so pretty, don't you think?
but than again I am a little strange.
If I can quit anyone can quit , I was a real bi.............
Wait! Started 2 jokes at once... I'm a mess.
I'm in favor of gardening, too.
Blowing bubbles?
(Sorry. Only a nonsmoker can answer so stupidly...)
We're thinking of upping the taxes here from 30 cents/pack to $1.00. Might not help me (don't smoke but 3-4 cigs/day, unless I'm stressed. It will help the state, though. We have one of the highest smoking rates in the nation.
Oooops. That's the addict talking...
I'd been smoking for about 30 years when I finally quit. Good news is that chest X-rays and pulmonary function tests show that my lungs are in reasonable shape. They'd probably be better if I'd never smoked but I can't worry about that too much at this stage. :)
Yet to her absolute dying day she would bounce those 100+ lbs on those little short lab legs whenever a walk was proposed.
I'm thinking of getting a parrot. I won't like it much but they live for 80 years...
A sketch book helps some, but that's not as active if sitting still is a problem for you. If not, and you think you can't draw, get a copy of "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" or the new edition "The New Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain" by Dr. Betty Edwards.
2 Take it outside and set it to ring in 20 mins.
3 When it rings, take yourself outside to stop the alarm.
4 Re-set alarm.
Repeat steps 3 and 4, ad infinitum.
Ishbel. The alarm would have to be *really* cheap, cos about round 3 I'd shoot it. (Note to self: Buy gun)
Dude. I have tears from laughing so fucking hard.
If you have enough room (or even if you don't), get a horse. Those suckers are FUN. Especially when drinking.
OMG I remember your dad trying to teach Sophie not to go after the chickens!
The only thing he ever succeeded in teaching Sophie was the command Grovel!
He was trying to make her scared of chasing chickens, but he succeeded in making her scared sh#tless of him for a long time.