Some Thoughts On Friendship for Valentine's Day

I wouldn't say that I have A LOT of friends.  I can probably count on one hand the number of TRUE friends I have.  You know...  The kind of friend who would do anything for you.  The type of friend who doesn't just bail you out of jail, but is sitting next to you saying "wow, we really fucked up this time!"

I have friends who have gone out of their way to help me or to be there for me.  Dude friends who are always around when it's time to move, and for a case of beer and a pizza, they will tote and carry your entire life to a new place.  I have girlfriends who know MUCH more about me than my own husband does.  I even have friends who are my own family members.  My sister is one of my best friends in the whole world, and I thank my parents all the time for deciding not to stop at just one, because I don't know what my life would be like without her.

I also have friends who have been with me for YEARS.  Friends that I met in grade school, high school, and college.  Roommates and rivals.  Kindred spirits and acquaintances.  Friends that have drifted into my life via the internet, work, or through another friend or family member.

I'd like to tell you about a couple of my very best friends:

1.  My sister, Katie: I love her more than I could ever convey with words.  She was my childhood friend.  She is the person who knows ALL of my secrets.  She is the one who was my partner in crime for 25 years of my life.  I remember the day she was born and being SO EXCITED.  Of course, we went through periods of life when we weren't getting along oh so well, as all sisters go through at one point or another.  But, my life would have never been the same without her.  When something good or bad happens in my life, my sister is always the first to know.  When I need comforting, I will first go to my sister before looking to my parents for advice or comfort.  She knows me better than anyone.  She is the perfect compliment to me.  We are opposites in every sense of the word.  She is short, I am tall.  She is brunette, I am blonde.  She keeps her feelings in, I wear my heart on my sleeve.  She is a social butterfly, I am a little more introverted.  She can get over a breakup with the blink of an eye, I am a hopeless romantic and somewhat codependent.  :)  We are like peanut butter and jelly...  Oh so very different, but yet perfect together.

2. My oldest friend, Bambi: I met Bambi when she was just 17 years old, and I was 19 years old.  She was married and pregnant by the time she was 17, and a mother of three by the time she was 21.  Our lives look different from the outside and we have traveled very different paths, but on the inside, she is definitely my kindred spirit.  We have the same beliefs.  We have the same sense of humor.  We make each other laugh constantly.  We've been through every up and down two girls can go through, but she has always been a constant friend to me.  She is never judgmental.  She has always been available, no matter how busy her own life is, to talk to me and give me advice.  In the 10 years of our friendship, we have never argued or hurt each other.  I admire her strength and her perpetual sunny outlook on the world.

3. My husband, Mark: He is truly my best friend.  I feel more comfortable with him than with anyone in my entire life.  He supports me, encourages me, and kicks my butt into gear when I need it.  He takes care of me, but respects my independence.  He makes me laugh, and it makes me the happiest girl when I'm able to make him laugh.  He talks to me when I need a "girlfriend" and none are available.  He is interested in my thoughts and feelings.  We are able to talk to each other sometimes without saying a word...  simply a look.  I chose to spend my life with him.  Chose him as my family.  Sometimes I think of my life before meeting him, and it seems like it was just in black and white...

My one wish this Valentine's Day is that I can be the kind of friend that I found in my own friends!  I hope that I am the person that they feel that they can go to for anything when they need me.  I love my friends.