Obviously, fans everywhere discovered why the "Doublemint Man" and the "Umbrella Woman" stayed away from tonight's Grammys. They had their own "issues" to work out.
However, their unexpected absence didn't disappoint a surprisingly, exciting awards show. Country, rock, contemporary, pop, R&B and rap contributed to a three and a half hour event for the ages!
Please! Who am I kidding? These Grammys sucked! I channel-surfed during the entire program. However, I caught some interesting developments throughout the festival. Here were tonight's "Top 10" Grammy moments to remember or forget.
1) Robert Plant certified his comeback by winning Best Pop Collaboration (with Allison Krauss) and Album of the Year.
2) Kanye West continued slamming his peers with statements, like "The Best New Artist award has gone to artists... the Jonas Brothers and Amy Winehouse. Neither of them is us." He did deserve one award as "The Biggest Self-Promoting Dick in Music Today".
3) Nick, Joe and Kevin (The Jonas Brothers) dressed in pink and white tee shirts and black leather. They dressed like Village People extras with their curly hair and makeup. Very manly, indeed!
4) Stevie Wonder was made to perform with those clowns!
5) Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift imitated MTV's Unplugged with an acoustic rendition of Swift's "15" song. Even at 16, Cyrus realized that a riveting, Grammy performance creates a terrific distraction to her anti-Asian photo.
6) Amy Winehouse was still on vacation and humiliating herself.
7) Rap artists wearing sunglasses at night are made to go together.
8) Jay-Z, T.I., Little Wayne and Kanye West aren't able to be spelled in one can of alphabet soup.
9) Smokey Robinson, Jamie Foxx, Neyo and Duke Fakir are poised to become 2009's version of the "Rat Pack" of Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin, Jerry Lewis and Frank Sinatra.
10) Even the rich and famous are victimized by violent crime. (Keep your head up, Rihanna. Get help for your ass, Chris Brown!)
For the complete Grammy run-down, check on CBSonline.com.