My darling (and I use that term very, very loosely) has managed to come down with the bronchitis/pneumonia that I had last week. I kept wanting to take him the dr but he won't go. Wednesday nite, after I am all comfy in bed, almost asleep, he decides that he needs to go to the ER so I get up, mumbling to myself to bring him. We got there about 11ish. Only one dr was there so it took forever, but eventually they did get my husband some xrays, bloodwork and an iv started. They gave him steriods through the IV and he felt immediate relief. We were given 2 prescriptions and sent home at 4AM.
I was too tired to go to walgreen's to get the meds at 4AM, so I done that in the morning after I finished napping. Well, I told him he needed to go after the prescriptions, but he didn't until after 8pm. The antibiotics weren't filled due to a serious reaction between the antibiotic and my dh blood thinner. Walgreen's said that my dh would have to see the dr this morning to get a replacement med.
I told my dh this and he told me that "I am only going to the dr for medicine, if I get admitted, it's your fault". Him being admitted didn't even cross my mind so I just laughed it off. Sure enough, we get to see the dr and my dh's pulse ox, the oxygen present in his blood, was 78, it should be 100. I told the dr that it had to be wrong, he didn't look sick, he was sounding better, that darn machine thingy was wrong. The dr put the device on another finger and got the same reading.
So the visit was stopped then and there and we were told to go straight to the ER where he would be evualated. He could just get a bag of IV antibiotics in the ER with some blood tests and xrays or he might be admitted. If his eyes were bullets, I would be dead.
Well I informed the dr that he won't go, my dh hates the hospital, he goes nuts. We were told that it was in his best interest to go. I left the dr in my truck, he left in his. I went by the ER but he wasn't there he was at his sister's house. I told him that I wanted him at the ER now and this wasn't my fault, I am not the one who puts the cigarette into his mouth then lights it. He has been diagnosed with COPD as well as emphyzema and asthma.
Well his sister has one of these pulse ox machines and dh told me his number is up to 92 so he's not going to the hospital, but even if he's over the "attack" or whatever was causing his oxygen level to be so low, he's still not covered by antibiotics and this will not go away without them.
My dh is bi-polar manic depressive, so it makes things like 50 times worse, but I am beginning to think that I am bi-polar as well. He raises hell at me and I just sit there and cry like some sort of a sissy. I have already told him that if he's put into the hospital and raises hell with me as he usually does, I am leaving. I will come back later and then the process will repeat itself if necessary til one of us gets tired of it.
My dh is scared to death of a hospital, he actually lays there and goes into this fetal position where he does nothing but cry....yeah it's that bad. He's in the hospital probably 4 times per year because of his asthma/COPD and we go through this everytime. The majority of his family lives within 45 minutes of the hospital yet they don't show up to help me care for him, I am there 24/7 only leaving long enough to run home and get a shower. My kids go to my inlaws house while I care for him.
I am so scared that I am going to be made a widow at a very young age, not only does this effect me, but we still have two kids here, our son is 16 and our baby girl is 12, so not only will I be a widow at a young age, I will also become a single parent to 2 kids who love thier father very much.
I am not sure if I am here to complain, searching for sympathy (something that I don't do), or if I am just needing support of my friends. I am numb. Back in September, my dh had a severe attack here at the house and our son had to call 911 to come get his Dad. We almost lost him then, the paramedic told me that he was moving no air at all. I am just afraid this is going to happen yet again, but we won't respond in time. I do sleep hard, especially with the pain meds, but my dh doesn't stay in bed with me all nite long as he roams the house and goes outside to have a cigarette. I am just afraid that I will come up short in his care or that something very bad is going to happen to him and the kids are going to be around, they will never forget that as long as they live.
Well I am finished ranting for now, but stay tuned I am sure I will have another fit here before long, as DH isn't here, he's still at his sister's house.
Thanks for listening,
Stephanie
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Comments: 59
yeah there's alot more they can do, they choose not to. I guess it's because I am there doing everything so it's not thier problem.
great idea, I will spring the will idea on him as soon as he comes in, hopefully he gets in from his sister's before the kids come in from school.
Thanks everyone for the support during this time.
that group invite is more than welcome. I have to go out later, I will swing by the herb store to see if I can find those supplements.
Thanks for the support and info.
he's on 3 different nerve meds, plus two meds for seizures which are suppose to control his nerves as well and seizure control as well. He hasn't had a seizure since 01, but he's still suspectible due to the stroke he had in 99, which is when this all started.
However, in your case with a chronic condition that he is aware of, he needs to be more proactive.
I am so sorry it sounds like you have put a lot on your shoulders. I hope things get better for you. My mother has copd so I know how a person gets sick. He needs to take care of himself better.
Prayers and Many Hugs being sent.
this is serious I hope he listens to the Dr and to you
Blood oxygen of 78 is horrible; I know from experience in September, when I had shortness of breath that was beyond scary. Called the primary care doctor and described symptoms; he wanted me in his office ASAP, and he quickly dispatched me to the ER with paperwork telling them what he thought I needed. Turned out I was in congestive hear failure and was in the hospital for 8 days.
Does your husband think dying is better than going into the hospital? Does he really want to leave you alone to the misery of widowhood? Trust me, as frustrating as that Y chromosome makes men, lif without your very own is wretched! He may think his underwear drawer is magical, always filled with washed, folded underwear on its own, but I promise, you'll find things that he spent years making magical for you, such as toilets that never, ever overflow--until he is no longer around.
Tell him from me, that since the day my DH died, I've been preaching to every man I see that men must listen to the wives who love them, and when they say to go to the hospital, DO IT! Unless you're looking to make her a widow! Tell him to go so he can live more years! Tell him my sad story!
Stephanie-This worked with my Gpa. My Gpa lived with my Auntie and he fell, he refused to let them take him to the ER so my cousin told him if he didn't she'd call 911 and tell them his name, that he had fallen, and was refusing to go to the hospital. That EVERYONE in their little town would know because a lot of people have scanners and listen to them all the time.
Here's my story-I was a single mom with a son on medicaid for years. My son had this persistant cough from a very young age. I'd get called from work to come get him from preschool then school because he was either coughing OR coughing so hard he had vomited. Eventually I got both places to understand that he was NOT contaigous, this was just something that happened every so often. I kept asking doctors about it and they said he might have asthma. However, I was told either he was to young to be tested, OR, Medicaid wouldn't cover my taking him to a specialist because he didn't have "traditional" symptoms. One day after I had remarried and my son was on my husband's insurance, my mom and I took him to yet another doctor because of this cough. While we were there he had a HUGE asthma attack, he started turning blue. THAT doctor sent us to the ER were we were treated immediatly because, A. The DR. had called and told them we were comming, and B. His lips were still blue when we got there. He almost died that day, and if I hadn't had the insurance we have he would have. Which is another reason I say insurance is a RIGHT not a PRIVILEGE,m but that's another story...
I am 43, he's 40, we are not supposed to be facing these issues at our young ages, heck we should have another 50 years together, I can only hope.
I do thank ya'll for stopping in and caring enough to leave comments of support. He wanted to sleep in the spare room tonite, but I fought him on that one. I need him where I can try to monitor what is going on, even though about midnite he's going to get out of the bed until about 4 AM. I haven't taken the pain meds tonite, I hope I can go without it, just so I can kinda stay alert to watch him.
Once again, I have some of the best friends here at Gather, thanks!
My dear, you and he are so very, very young!!! My husband died at 65, and I believe he could have lived a lot longer if he had gone to the ER when I first suggested it! Wouldn't he like to live to see your great grandchildren?
I really hope that he comes around, but he's probably just scared. That's a tough emotion to get through. One time my poor grandfather spent 2 days not able to breathe before telling me. He said he "didn't want to bother me." I ended up calling 911 to have him transported. Good luck and {{{HUGS}}}
Honey, I lost my first hubby eight years ago by a sudden death heart attack, been there done that, I don't want the same for you. Tell him, "You're goin now coon***!"
I hope you understand.
How's he doing today?
HUGS
Congratulations on MOTD in STW
.
Over the next 6 months he ended up in the hospital several times due to blocked arteries. it was a battle every time. He finally ended up with Cardiac Artery Bypass Graft of two vessels. He then realized that if he was going to live, he better start listening to me. Now mind you, I am a cardiac nurse and he still wouldn't listen to me.
Since all this, he agrees with me when I tell him, it is time to go!!
So, hang in there, honey. Hopefully, he will come to his senses. Men can be very stubborn. I think it is in their genetic makeup.
***Paying It Forward***
PIF
Blessings!
PIF
Hope he gets better.