Thursday night, I'm getting ready for dinner. My husband was bringing home sandwiches, and I was fixing soup. Ding Dong. The door.
I open the door to find the Dept. of Human Services there to check on my daughter's well being.
You could have blown me away. My husband had told her if she made me cry again, he'd kill her.
He has never laid a hand on her, but the little darlin' was looking to get even. So, she told her school councelor she was afraid of him.
He comes in with sandwiches, and just laughs at this investigator. I start crying. The woman tells me I'm having a meltdown. I'm sorry, if you don't like my reaction. Here's the chaser. I try to explain that my little darling has been in trouble with the law, and often upsets me. My husband didn't mean it, and she knows it. The woman leaves and gives my daughter her phone number.
In the meantime, I have to call my biological children, and tell them that I'm being investigated, and they will receive a call. They blow, and are angry as you know what. I go in to check on my adopted daughter and she says,"Mom, the cops are at the door."
Here goes that feather blowing me over again. Here's the kicker again, the cops come in, and start screaming at her. They told me that DHS was out of line and call them, and they'll get rid of the worker.
The cop knows my daughter, and us. He gave her a tongue lashing that was incredible. He promised her if DHS comes out again, she's going to Juvie! I got a big hug from two wonderful policemen. They asked my husband if he said that. My husband said, "I don't remember, but I'm sure I did." The cop said, "Well if you don't want to blister her behind, call me and I will."
He went on to explain, that kids like her love to call on their parents, but having picked her up last Saturday in a stolen car at 3:30 am, and she's still standing says volumes to him.
So, missy the trouble maker, said she's sorry, and she hates the DHS for making a big deal out of this.
How's that for an attitude?
God love 'em!
I could tell you more, but I think you get the picture. I got this child from DHS,; and she thought she could play the system, but the system but the system played her. I told my daughter if she were really scared of daddy, she should go with the nice lady. Needless to say, she wasn't afraid anymore.
NOTE: My daughter and I are so close, but her daddy won't let her go out at night with boys, so he's a problem to her. This was her solution.
rate
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 54
How is your daughter who went into labor? I prayed for her.
Drugs and the law and the whole 9 yards, hearing how strict he is with his teenage daughter now is strange.
My mum says kids are like teeth, trouble when they come in and give you sporadic pains forever.
"If you make her cry again I'll call (the social worker, the cops, the DHS, a lawyer) depending on the severity of the situation, and then stick with the threat, but "I'll kill you?"
NO!
Again...commendable for what you are doing..she is going to one day be a very lucky adult that someone stuck with her.....I truly mean it !!
I am here for you if you need someone to talk to about all of this, my son was my biological child, but I have been in your shoes. Thankfully these last three kids aren't brave enough to try anything remotely like he did.
I have been through more than I care to go into with my son but he always knew I was the parent who was going to stick...stick around...and stick her toes in deep whenever the situation called for it. I did...and while his problems are far from over, he thanks me for hanging tough...at age 18, he thanks me for it.
Stand your ground and DO NOT give her the power to upset you. The more upset you are, the more she will use it against both you and your husband. This situation sounds like she has figured out that the best way to punish him is to punish you first. STOP PLAYING HER GAME. Right now, she is calling the shots.
I know it's tough. Been there, done that, got the gray hairs to prove it....
I'll be glad to relate my experience via PM if you want to email me...and I have a HUGE amount of sympathy for you both! God bless....
As for my pregnant daughter, she went home today, but is still having contractions. I'm going over tomorrow to care for her and her two year old. Prayers always appreciated in both situations.
You are so right. He didn't even realize he said it. He learned a lesson too from this, but what is interesting, is this DHS liked him, but disliked me for crying. She was hard on me and the cops were hard on my daughter, and my husband, everybody loves him.
and you will have a great grown-up
daughter pretty soon.
You are sticking with her -
that's the important part...
> On the one hand, what she did was absolutely wrong. Ont the
> other hand, "if you make her cry again, I'll kill you" is not an
> appropriate thing for ANYONE to say.
That's a good point. But people say stuff like that all the time.
I could have killed so and so. Still, it is inappropriate for dealing
with a real problem in a real situation.
He's now almost 21, he's still got a ways to go. I sympathsize!
Looks like your kid has all the same potential.
Only 4 more years...
Sorry if that sounded a little harsh. I didn't really intend it to but it might have gotten a little out of hand. However, you really need to talk to her.
Unfortunately, too many kids know they can really mess up an adult's life with such accusations. Their unsupported word can cost adults their livelihoods, their reputations, their standing in the community -- the adult's life can become a total wreck even if the allegations are proven to be untrue. Kids know this, and use the threat of such potential damage as a club to get the adult to obey them. Also unfortunately, the necessary caution that CPS must use in such cases feeds these little brats' egos. But what is CPS to do, go back to the days when a parent's closed-fist beating of their children is classed as "a family matter" and ignored?
Believe me I feel your pain. My son was in and out of trouble all through his teens. He was ADD, and his Father was jealous of him, yes, his own Father, but that's another story.
When he got taller than me, at about 14, he raised his hand to me once. ONCE. I told him, "Buddy, I brought you in, and I don't care how big you think you are, I can take you out."
Did I mean it? Of course not, but he has never raised a hand to me since.