February Wonder ~
I wonder how that February felt to her?
Knowing it was the last month she would carry me, as I grew inside of her! How very bitter winter can become, or was it somehow made sweet and warm thinking about my coming? The fifties had been so good to her.
And now as 1960 was definitely here, was she feeling a bit old, as we all do, when a new decade arrives.
I wonder if she really wanted me?
For she already had one baby daughter! I reckon some things aren't for us to know.
Still, I wonder.
As she was so awfully big and uncomfortable, if she truly had, had enough of this pregnancy and longed to meet me--- as I longed to meet her.
It's funny how nothing can prepare a mother, for the child she receives.
Not her own imaginings, dreams, fantasies or desires.
For we are always suprised at the uniqueness of each spirit who comes through us.
And the mother they command us to become!
I deeply wonder how she felt when she held me for the first time?
Was it anything like the millions of feelings coursing through me as I held my very own daughter on that other winter morning?
Suppose, I'll never know.
February is so strange with its many blizzards, too few valentines and those rare leap years! Buried so deep and beautifully within the year, like perennials in the snow.
Still, I wonder how that February felt to her?