Word Challenge #13 ~ Mom Jeans and Other Fashion Crimes Edition

Equanimity means

•A.    mental or emotional stability

•B.    grace under pressure

•C.    fairness

•D.    fast motor skills

Bowdlerize means

•A.    a term for good bowling game

•B.    bully

•C.    a puppet government

•D.    to expunge written work by removing offending passages

Cudgel means

•A.    an ethnic doughnut that does not have a hole

•B.    to cuddle with something that is not alive

•C.    to be humble while admitting a mistake

•D.    a short thick stick that is used as a weapon

Imprecation means

•A.    the act of evoking a curse upon a person

•B.    the process of impregnation by artificial means

•C.    the act of interrupting

•D.    the act of demanding

Pettifogger means

•A.    an dance without grace

•B.    a type of undergarment used in the mid-nineteenth century

•C.    a type of pasta associated with eastern Italy

•D.    to bicker over unimportant matters

Extemporaneous means

•A.    an impromptu performance

•B.    speaking too long

•C.    speaking on a subject which the audience finds boring

•D.    avoiding talking about a major subject by speaking about minor ones

Yeasty means

•A.    smelly

•B.    youthful

•C.    vain

•D.    atypical

Tractable means

•A.    docile

•B.    stubborn

•C.    youthful

•D.    atypical

Foofaraw means

•A.    a fool's errand

•B.    kissing before marriage

•C.    a great fuss over something insignificant

•D.    youthful

Incarnadine means

•A.    a color that is either very red or pale pink

•B.    making small gestures to be polite

•C.    low lighting in order to establish a mood

•D.    the feeling of starting to feel drunk

Jessica Simpson was caught this week performing at a chili cook off.  Yes, a chili cook off.  Apparently, someone's career isn't going as planned.  Immediately after spying her in her chili cook off best a twitter was heard across the country, perhaps even the world, that Jessica had grown fat.

            First, she isn't fat, second, who in the hell told her to wear mom jeans?  Supposedly she is a size 8, but even if she was a size negative 2 she would look fat in mom jeans.  No one looks good in mom jeans, especially moms.  Mom jeans were invented as Catholic endorsed birth control...see, you don't need to use the pill when it is obvious by the way you dress that a nun gets more action than you.  Listen, I am a huge jean advocate and think jeans can be translated into any sort of fashion, but mom jeans are a crime against humanity.  Look at them.  Seriously, LOOK   AT   THEM.  Even Katie Cruise who has zero body fat (probably due to her prolonged imprisonment) looks horrible in them.  Then whoever dressed Jessica (if she is performing chili cook offs then I think it may be safe to assume she dressed herself) pairs her mom jeans with a double belt emphasizing, in the most unflattering manner possible, her curves.  Add big hair with chunky upper arms and you have yourself a fashion crime hurricane level five. 

            Here is an observation, Jessica Simpson has gained weight and once again I say she isn't fat but she is bigger, so why dress in skin tight leather pants...why Jessica...why?

            Okay, allow me to confess that I cannot stand Mariah Carey.  I hate her music, but more importantly I hate her fashion sense.  It's like she is the Benjamin Button of celebritville.  As she ages she is determined to show more of her fake breasts always covered with an orange tan cream.  Her hair, which is naturally curly thus should be lovely, is always done up in the latest stripper delight style.  Even in casual, clothes as seen in this photo, make her look like she answers one of those porn call in services, but not the type they show in advertisements, no, the real thing, the woman with a cigarette hanging from her mouth who has seven children by eight different men (you read correctly).  Beyond all else take a gander at her boots.  I'm warning everyone if I see any of you walking around with these things I'm going to push you off the sidewalk and hopefully into heavy traffic.  And guess what?  The police will understand.  Seriously, what the f*ck?  Bad long sweater, white wife-beater t that shows acreage of cleavage, steel gray yoga pants, paired with a tan boot that shows off her latest pedicure (and are those corked heals?).  Shameful, just shameful.    

Answers

•1.     a

•2.     d

•3.     d

•4.     a

•5.     d

•6.     a

•7.     b

•8.     a

•9.     c

•10.  a

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