Is that subtle or what?
With the answer being kinda obvious, let's sally right forth into today's discussion. I can remember way, way back, had to be around 1963 or so, watching TV one Saturday morning. I, like lots of other kids of that era, loved Saturdays because all the major networks ran cartoons the entire morning. During some show, I can't even remember which, a commercial came on showing this kindly cartoon captain who was touting his new brand cereal. His voice was very friendly, and the name of his cereal was a tad bit different than most: "Captain Crunch." Given that in that era cereal manufacturers would run the same ads over and over and over again, I probably watched the Captain shill his new product a good eight to ten times at a minimum. Whatever the number was, it was sometimes very early that same Saturday afternoon when I pleaded with my mom to buy me a box. She did, I then enjoyed my first bowl, and was permanently hooked - still am to this very day!
I love Captain Crunch's taste, and it's hard to one hundred percent put my finger on just exactly what that taste is. It's a bit oatsy, also has a bit of a honey taste to it, and is nice and sugary, just the way I like it. For some reason, when you blend all of its various tastes together, it's heaven, the ultimate breakfast taste bud heroin. I never eat just one bowl of the Captain's finest, in fact, I've been known to down a whole box at just one sitting and still want even more after that. I could eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and when I want some of it, few cravings are any more powerful, least none that I could discuss out loud here.
Y'all will be glad to know I'm a Captain Crunch purist, that is, I only go for the regular Captain Crunch. I don't do the Captain Crunch with the Crunchberries, I don't do the peanut butter flavored Captain Crunch, and I damn sure don't do the Chocko Crunch or any of its other more exotic offerings. For me, it's plain ole Captain Crunch in a bowl, some milk, and a semi-shovel sized spoon so that I can get as much of it funneled down as quickly as I can possibly can.
Y'all know, as I wax a bit reflective here regarding Captain Crunch, it stirs me to think that the perfect day for me would be:
1. Sleep late.
2. Wake up.
3. Have sex.
4. Eat Captain Crunch for breakfast, at least two bowls full.
5. Have sex.
6. Watch episode one of The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh.
7. Eat two Nu-Way all the way hot dogs, two Nu-Way slaw dogs, and some fries for lunch.
8. Have sex, then take a nap.
9. Watch episode two of The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh.
10. Eat dinner at either Carrabba's Italian Grill, Nu-Way Weiners, or Wild Wings Café. Enjoy a Dairy Queen Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard for desert afterwards.
11. Go home and have wild sex whilst watching POV roller coaster videos.
12. Sneak in a very late bowl of Captain Crunch.
13. Go to sleep and repeat the same cycle everyday for the rest of my life.
So see, the Captain is obviously a very important part of my existence. And so it shall remain until the day I die, or at least until someone comes along with something even better breakfast cereal-wise. And all I can say about that is, to this date they haven't even come close, and I personally don't think that they ever will..
And yes, let me get one more thing on the table before we close this one out, because I know some of y'all are sitting there thinking it - I fully realize that the Captain is not the most nutritious cereal available, it's probably not even in the top one hundred. I readily admit that. The thing is, though, that I don't eat it for nutritional value, god, I hate to even use those words - nutritional value. You know your poor stomach is going to get hosed whenever you see that. I know that there are people out there who eat healthy items all the time so that they can live some extra years, but, if you live them by subsisting on a diet of cauliflower, soy milk, and shredded wheat, why in the hell would you even want to? Don't get me wrong, I don't advocate eating pure junk all the time, but I also don't advocate making sure that everything we eat is truly healthy and nutritious, either. Let's face it, our cemeteries are full of healthy dead people, who, no matter how hard they tried, still ended up discovering that all that healthy eating didn't stave off a eternity's worth of living in your own six foot deep underground condo. You have to use some common sense about it, so, for me I'd rather eat the occasional chili dog and have a year or two less to live than eat all that healthy crapola and go on to be a very old, yet loudly stomach growling and grouchy old man.
So fellow Gatherites, I've placed my marker here regarding breakfast cereals, and proudly state that Captain Crunch is my favorite of them all. Now, y'all can give me your own opinions below - am I right, wrong, or are you indifferent to the whole subject? Would you rather discuss Atomic Fireballs instead? Whatever the case, please comment below, as about every week these days I get one or two nasty messages about getting lots of comments on my "fluff" type articles. Hey, to each their own, so if y'all don't want to talk about breakfast cereals at least say something so I can keep pissing these poser dillweeds off a bit more....
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Comments: 70
A child of the 60's, I still was never taken with breakfast cereals. I do enjoy the sex often, sometimes involving another person.
Got one question...what the heck does POV stand for?
Welcome home
POV stands for Point of View, Nancy. A roller coaster POV video is just one where they mount a camera on the front of the train so that you get the ultimate "Point of View."
Lois, I missed you, you hot, saucy wench, you!
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Now about those Atomic Fireballs Ed.......................
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And Priscilla, I'll just have to take my chances with the peanut butter, I love it like an addict loves a fix!
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I loves me some Peanut Butter Crunch ... but Lucky Charms are dandy too. Actually I only buy cereal about once a year but those are my long-time faves! Oh, and Raisin Bran... and Cheerios... aaaanndd....
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Also still "Cuckoo for Coco Puffs" at times... ;-)
I also have no love for “cereals” which require milk and are eaten cold...yukkkkk! I needed to re-read it subbing cereal for something I do enjoy. In addition, as for the other references of bliss and joy they were replaced and made to fit my personal taste. I know I am a northern prude --old, healthy and happy with myself.
Last: Nonetheless, the writing and satire are excellent!
As for ANN DISSING the Cap'n, well, don't even get her started on creme de menthe anything.
Anywho, thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
Maybe I need to revisit peanut butter Captain Crunch......
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This is original fluff created by the posters own brain cells, how could anyone object?
Fluff is good
Everyone should have fluff
Captain Crunch is food fluff.
Enjoy!
ps
My father did not allow any cereals in our house.
I was almost as bad, but did allow my children to have cereal when their friends stayed overnight. Some of their friends had no idea what real home cooked food was.
I wanted my children to eat good wholesome food, but I think we should limit our fanaticism to as few items/thoughts as possible.
Before I forget, Birdee darlin', you're prettier than hell!
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Or if there are no Lucky Charms, then Alphabits with marshmallows (do they even make that anymore?)
There was a whistle that came in the Captain Crunch boxes for a while that became a computer history factoid. John Draper, early phone phreak, computer hacker, and developer of Easy Writer, the first word processor written for the Apple II was called Captain Crunch. Draper discovered that the whistle could be used to imitate the long distance tones used by the phone company. Phone Phreaking was big starting in the 60s. Geeks spent huge amount of time figuring out ways to get into phone networks. Phone Phreaks developed little electronic gagets called Blue Boxes that enabled people to make free long distance calls. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak of Apple were Phone Phreaks before starting to build computers.
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I remember the early days of advertising as well, and I liked Trix( not for silly rabbits!)
Yes, Jay Ward was involved in the early Cap'n Crunch ads. I've seen them played (in black and white) at a Jay Ward film festival.
I can't eat any of the cereals from the days when Super Sugar Crisp was Super SUGAR Crisp and Sugar Bear was such a smooth talker. Everything has a ton of corn syrup in it now and it just doesn't taste the same to me. I did like the Cap'n Crunch - even saved enough box tops to get a set of bowls with all the crew members on them. I did stray into Crunchberry land for a short time, but it was easier to convince my mother to buy the original - I'm not sure why, perhaps she thought Crunchberries were an extravangence and beyond our station in life.
Now, when I can afford it, I go for Peanutbutter Puffins.
I never did like Captain Crunch, not even as a child. (Cocoa Krispies, yum)
So, I will take the sex and you can have my Captain Crunch!
Karl, you are so funny!
Interogatorily yours,
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Can you sue your own article?
Thanks for all the neat comments,
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Now I eat Ezekial brand Raisin Bran ... gawd yes it's ... shudder healthy cereal.
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I'm not a big cereal fan, and have never tried the Cap'n. I usually just eat frosted mini wheats.
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