Korean New Year Gathering

Monday, January 26, 2009 was the official date for Lunar New Year, celebrated as a major family and cultural and official holiday all over the orient. My family, which includes three adult Korean adoptees, has celebrated Korean New Year with a feast for many years now, except for the years when I was on the road. This is our second year of keeping up with our old tradition since I've been back. We chose to celebrate on Saturday the 24th, because that meant more people could come and they could stay up later. Although only one of my four children lives in the area, we somehow managed to fill the house anyway - with my son Ben, his wife, and their two little ones; my ex, Paul, whose wife had to work but who was missed and spoken of fondly; our family friend from Inchon, Korea by way of Chicago, Faye; some friends from Omega Institute, Stephen and Trinity; and another Omegan, Judi, who is also a Korean adoptee - and who brought her adoptive parents Nancy and Charles, too, all the way from New Jersey. We had phone call and email connections with the missing ones in England, Kansas City, and the Denver area; and we had good thoughts for those not yet found: birth parents and family for Judi, and the last and youngest brother of my three adoptees, who was adopted by a Korean family shortly before their mother's death.

Judi, Stephen, Trinity and I went shopping in Korean grocery stores in the area early Saturday afternoon. We were mightily befriended by one wonderful Korean lady in the "Pleasing Market," who insisted on teaching us the rules for a Korean traditional card game. More than that, she filled us with laughter and the true spirit of the holiday from the Korean point of view. We went back to my house loaded with spinach and kochijang and cha jang myun sauce and seaweed and sesame seeds and barley tea and noodles and traditional rice-flour bean cakes and chestnut cookies and fortune cookies and takuan and duk noodles and mandu and.....We were loaded. At home there were already a large box of jumbo Korean pears; and we knew my son would bring the rice and kimchee, and Faye was making chop-chae.

Judi, Trinity and I, with Stephen's assistance, began cooking and we cooked in that special way that people working together for something really good enjoy. During the food preparations I began to hear the front screen door opening, and went to see who could be there. Those who know me, know that I do shamanic work, so that it's not unusual for me to receive messages and visits from guests from the "other side." The same is true for my young friend, Judi. And so it was - several times I went to the front door, and welcomed in our "other side" visitors: my Korean childrens' parents and grandparents, with whom I've visited many times; my mother and my grandparents; and Judi's Korean ancestors.

Judi's folks arrived, fresh from driving around, exploring our part of Ohio. Her dad found the local weekly and began reading to catch up on us. Her mom pitched in with table setting and documenting the occasion with her camera. Then it got close to time for the others to arrive, so Judi went to put on her traditional Korean gown, the Hanbok, so she would be ready to greet people in the spirit of the holiday. I never made it out of my jeans and library sweatshirt, but I think perhaps we were all a good mix of styles and it was all right. My ex arrived with a load of good things - he learned quite a bit about Oriental cooking when the kids were growing up, so we all know that whatever he makes will be delicious.

After a while Faye arrived in her "modified Hanbok," carrying the chop-chae she'd made; and then Ben's family came in, bearing rice and kimchee. The table was ready at last. Then Ben and I had a friendly "spar" over who should be first in line - and of course, it was the eldest, Judi's parents. There were smiles all 'round. During supper, which we ate with plates on our laps, Judi told of her trips to Korea to search for birth family, and her appearance on a Korean TV show which helps people reunite with lost family members. She did not find her birth mother, but two other people on the show did find lost ones. One of them was one of the first adoptees sent out of Korea, who was reconnected with his birth mother. The other was a woman who was reconnected, not only with the child she had given up, but with the rest of her own family, which had gotten separated from her during the Korean War when there were so many refugees fleeing in such great confusion and panic. Judi also told Ben about the gatherings of adult Adoptees from all over the world, and the group called KAAN which hosts yearly gatherings of Korean adoptees and their adoptive families.

Traditionally, Koreans dress up and visit relatives and bow to their elders for New Year's . Last year Faye taught that custom to our family - something which had been lost for our adoptees in the cultural scramble after they arrived in the US. Last year the little children bowed to the grandparents, and we grandparents had a little money to give to the children along with our New Years' blessings. This year the grandchildren were not prepared to bow, and didn't - but Judi had made up her mind to honor her adoptive parents with a formal bow. It was lovely. Afterwards, Faye brought out the Korean stick game Yut, and we spread a blanket on the floor and gathered 'round to play. It's a wonderful game because even the youngest could take turns throwing the sticks.

After the game my two grandchildren and I went into the music room and began playing the chimalongs I have for my little children's folk music classes. We had such a good time. I was delighted, as always, to be sharing the basics of music. It brought back memories, of course, of times of sharing music with my four children and their aunts and uncles and cousins. Sharing food and games and music and cultures - I could not wish a happier New Year's celebration than that for anyone, and so I wish everyone a very Happy New Year, and many happy returns.