Would (A Good Bad Poem)

[Posted after an exhaustive search through my horrible off-line filing system. Originally written at least 5 years ago.]

Would

Would that it were,
Would that it was...
Would that it could,
So goes the cause...

What would we do
to seek out our role...
How far can we go
to confirm what we know...

Answers found easily
are often deemed hollow...
Yet searching seems endless
if still dark seems tomorrow...

And so our surprise
when at last we confirm...
that our search was the cause
tho' a hard lesson learned.

Comments: 9

Christine K. Jan 27, 2009, 7:40am EST

I love it! Very rythmic! Well written!

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Mark Jepsen Jan 27, 2009, 7:45am EST

In the comments area of another Gatherer's poetry post, someone posed the question "What is Good Poetry? Well, in the interest of clarification, and to prove that I have no idea what should be said in answer to that query, I dug this up from my personal archives.

They say that you can't prove a negative. But I'm pretty sure that you can prove that a negative is NOT a positive! And there you are...

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Mark Jepsen Jan 27, 2009, 7:51am EST

Thanks Christine. I did this for fun, playing with the rhythm and toying with the phrase that had always intrigued me... "Would that it were." But I think I toyed a bit too much and lost my way. Still, it was fun. Like most of my attempts at poetry, there are probably 5 or 6 variations of this. Most are totally spontaneous and share only the first line or two. (Maybe I'll post them one day... if I can find them!)

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Sarah A. (I KANZ B UH RITUR!!!!) , YEZ!! Jan 27, 2009, 7:58am EST

Post 'em all, son. Post 'em all.

It reminds me of e e cummings 'What if a much of a which of a wind.."

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Tracy Fabre Jan 27, 2009, 10:00am EST

Ooh... philosophical and yet simple. And obey Sarah.

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Ashley Prince Jan 27, 2009, 11:04am EST

I love it! :) Great poem!

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Sandy F. Jan 27, 2009, 12:32pm EST

I'm sorry to disappoint, but as a "bad" poem this really falls flat. There are way too many good lines, a good meter, good rhyme, good topic, well written... must I go on?

Actually I can approve of one one line as "bad": if still dark seems tomorrow...

This is only because of the inverted words to force the resulting end rhyme. So it qualifies only as a small "bad." Better luck next time.

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