For months, people have been telling me that I am a direct descendant of Cesar (sometimes confused with Caesar, the palace) Perez, a worthless Lumpen and son-of-a-puta, who walked (or floated, as it happens) out on his family in Havana, Cuba, in 2001, because he feared Casto's days were limited and therefore wanted to live under the iron rule of the next best thing which happened to be the two Bush brothers.
He traveled on the Mariel Boatlift with his Tio Juan and an Aussie escapee from Guantanamo.
Cesar ended up sharing living quarters under a bridge in Miami with his Tio Juan, a mangy mutt, and a lifetime supply of water-logged Cuban cigars; and might still be there since I was able to find absolutely nothing to the contrary on Wiki.
My cousin's worthless son first concocted this story when he cut school and spent the day playing on the internet in his parent's bedroom, but later his brother confirmed it by writing the whole story on the inside of the front cover of the family bible.
This also means I am kin to the infamous Gonzalezes of Manzanillo, who disowned Cesar and forced him to change his name to Perez.
The more understandable explanation goes something like this: Olga Andrade slept with Santiago Gonzalez one time; which resulted in the pregnancy that later became Cesar; who lived with his father and carried his name until he voyaged to the U.S.; at which time the Gonzalez family forced him to change his name to Perez, which also happens to be the name of the man my cousin married.
Aniko of Gather also has a foreign-sounding name and therefore must be related to this somehow. She will have to provide her birth certificate, and those of her children, before we can verify this.
Even before my cousin married the foreigner, I felt foreign blood lurking in my veins and knew something like this would happen.
About the Mariel Boatlift (picture straight from Wiki)
Cesar left Cuba on the Mariel sometime early in 2001, started drinking the first day, suffered severe alcohol intoxication on the trip over, and has not recovered yet.
I think the Mariel exists only in pictures now and I might never figure out how to rectify these weird dates.
If only it had been the Mayflower, I could join the Mayflower Society; but, alas, people like KEO have all the luck.
(Being a stickler for group purpose, I am so happy to finally have something to post in The One-sentence per paragraph group. It's extra fun knowing this also fits the Creative History group.)
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Comments: 104
A 10 for you!
You Go, Evitilia...
Or is it Evictalia?
Blessings, it's all in the 6 degrees....
Of integration.
Wilka
Of integration.
Don't you mean immigration, Wilka?
Yes, Janna! Thank you for noticing.
Does this give you any stock at all in anything remotely to do with Las Vegas?
Naturally, I immediately sent him my bank account number, but he never deposited any money, and the million that I had in there disappeared. Could you help me get in touch with him to straighten out this misunderstanding?
Take the mangy mutt, cigars fall apart when you wash them, and even if they don't, they're hard to light. The dog, once dried with a towel, will light just fine, should you choose to smoke it. Speaking of which, what were you smoking when you wrote this, and where can I get me some?
Ruth, now I'm more confused than ever. Please, just let me know if I'm famous, and if there are any special clubs I get to join.
Ron, nothing but a Virgina Slim (menthol). I have another and will share if you promise to write a creative history when we're finished.
Jim, I love your confidence.
Have you sent it to Oprah for consideration by her Book Club?
Aniko, are you trying to say your name isn't Mexican?
Exhibit A
Exhibit Even More A
I forget to close my parentheses about 90% of the time. I'm blaming everything else on the accordion but will give this to nicotine fits. Thanks.
I hear you about that history. If I could saw Senor Perez off my family tree and choose, I would probably hope my name is really something like Sandy Running Bare.
I always liked "Cigareets, whusky and wile, wile wimmin, they'll drive you crazy, they'll drive you insane."
"I have religion... Lord just every day! I have a vision... Lord just every day!
But the wimmins and the whiskey.. they would not let me pray, So preach the Blues!"
And to think that I doubted those nice people who contacted me, at no small expense to themselves... They were telling the truth the whole time!!!
Wilka
I just envisioned Sandy choking violently on spittle. I do hope she will recover.
Sandy, don't you belong to the Copa Cabana Club? In honor of Uncle Perez, you can drink yourself silly there and no one will notice.
and Richard....lol....
It is a chance thing. The Puritans who came on the Mayflower were just as peasant as everybody else who came here.
I am proud of my peasant background, whether 1800s LDS ancestors who walked from Missouri to Utah in the snow storms (Martin Handcart Company - worst handcart disaster in history) or the chance of having been from Henry Samson.
Kathryn, what do you mean pretty funny? This is dead serious. Or maybe hilarious. I get the two mixed up sometimes. Considering the sizes of your Mormon family and my Catholic family, we probably are related. And, if we buy that Adam and Eve story, that means we are all related.
Wilka, I’m not peeling the potatoes for that shindig. I always get stuck peeling the potatoes.
Ron, good point.
Debra, I did have to take a deep breath when I thought about having to add all those names to my Christmas list. The Copa Cabana Club sounds good to me since I already know the song.
Richard, there’s a reason you are my brother.
And most of Kentucky, too (at least that's what I hear). Yep, if we keep talking we'll probably be sisters instead of cousins.
We are sisters. Don't choke.
I won't choke, as long as I don't have to peel potatoes or add all these names to my Christmas gift.
(I erased my first three comments before I submitted them.)
It's 2009. I think all the Frisbees should come out of the closet.
I don't mind peeps as long as they are not those marshmallow. I require nothing of my peeps.
Ha. You should have seen the comment I didn't submit. Might've been the same one Sandy didn't. Sometimes we know enough to behave.
Not ME!
You know, I do have a bible somewhere around here... maybe I should put some family notations in there... let's see... I always wanted Scandanavian heritage... hmmmmm
MY relatives were here before your relatives.
Before my Running Bare relatives, Janna?
You're a polygamist, too, Sandy?
Explain the too, Sheryl. You were a polygamist? Or are you referring to the relatives I share with Kathryn?
Hahaha! Silly Sandy. No, I meant on top of all your other tangled relationships cited in this exquisitely fonted and emboldened article.
You win, Sandy.
Lisa, I hope you are staying warm.
As I mentioned some where else in one of these recent articles... I need to either quit work and stay home all day gathering OR find a job in an office somewhere with an oblivious boss so I can play on gather while at work...