We, the Homosexuals of the United States of America, intend to spread our gay cooties everywhere.
One of our first targets will be the American Fools Association(their true name of the American Family Association - Whose family is that, I say) and their (Let them think it's the) Truth Project. We will handle this mission in the same pattern established by the mythical "Emperors New Clothes" playbook.
Next our Biblical Scholars project will be issuing periodic stupid interpretations of the stylized playbook of the false Evangelicals.
We are also focusing on the Closet Bigot movement. We will out people and businesses who contribute to harmful organizations and legislation that attacks, defiles and denies us our Civil Rights. No more crying foul when you are caught playing with your wallet in the closet, hypocrites.
And our final priority will be to eradicate the statement "Hate The Sin and Love the Sinner". This statement is as effective as the terminally stupid "I'm not a racist" statement where people state that then make racist statements.
This is by no means a fixed agenda - just a proposal by one of the Homosexuals that never got the memo about the agenda.
Any other ideas people? (Straight allies are welcome - we love you).
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Comments: 138
I'm a straight ally. Well, more curved, I guess.
As long as you're not planning to defile my dog, I'm pretty much down with anything else you wanna do. Have at it, I say. The Association for The Advancement of Pants on the Internet (TAFTA-OPOTI), est '07, is far too lazy and apathetic to actually discriminate against anyone (except for Morons,) so consider this an endorsement.
OK--how about making all marriage illegal....or forcing us straight people who scream about the sanctity of marriage--no divorce???? Considering the people I've heard the most from have been divorced at least once.
Force all homophobes to watch The Birdcage for 24 hours straight? No pun intended.....
To make all straight guys get some fashion sense....
To make Birkenstocks the official shoe and hand one pair out to all American women!
Can the line form behind me to get the cooties???? Please! Please! Please!!!!!
Me first! Me first!
DEFEND MARRIAGE! ALLOW GAY PEOPLE TO WED!
People should be allowed to wed ... gay or straight. I agree marriage is declining and divorce rates are rasing .. so many single people. I know several lesbian couples whom have been together for as long as I can remember. I know a few that went to Niagra Falls I think it was ... and got married too. Its a shame all people are not given equal rights.
Civil Rights for All!!
NOW!
There is a difference between comfort and sloppiness...or wearing hawaian shirts for dress occasions!
Peter I haven't worn pink lipstick since 1968.
I wear what Nee wears - bright red. If I'm wearing lipstick you're gonna see it.
And 'Birdcage' was nothing compared to the original French version "La Cage Au Folles" - check it out - and the sequel is even funnier... (relax, they have subtitles)
So, summing up
Confound their politics,
Frustrate their knavish tricks,
On you our hopes we fix,
God Save our Queens!
and fairies and homos and gays and all the other folk who make life richer for the rest of us.
At the time it came out, my two best friends had left their husbands and bought a house together and came out. I then left my husband and my kids and I moved in for a year. I had been out before and found out it was best to live as who I really was. My oldest boy was on his own and he was cool with it all.
We took all four kids and saw the movie and came home and made supper. The kids couldn't get over how much their families lived like ours. We were playing a tape by Aretha and dancing around the kitchen as we cooked and cleaned. My son Kyle said "Stop" we did. "This is exactly what was in the movie Mom - Cool". He was right.
We had seen our lives on the screen.
Great movie.
Being a UU who was raised Baptist is helpful for Biblical discussions sometimes.
Ruth - that was so mainstream of them.
The fastest way to spread cooties would be to lick all the doorknobs when no one is looking.
I say make all opponents of gay marriage write a 500 word essay using NO Biblical references and no quotes from anyone with a theology degree, legit or not. In this essay they MUST explain what harm will be done to the economy if gays marriages are recognized by the states. The reason is this: What do most people REALLY care about? If you answered the dollar bill, you would be correct!
EM Jay - Honestly it does, I never thought about that but those are me boobs.
Thanks Shelbia.
Joseph you are seriously insane you do know that right?
Sharon I wish I had the answers to this.
I just dont understand. Loving someone is the most natural thing in the world.
And the loving this you would think they'd stay to busy in their own bedrooms to bother.
Gay cooties -- so that's how they do it!?! I just knew there was something that wasn't normal going on here. Gay people can't reproduce, so they must recruit. Next thing you know, the Priests will be gay.
Don't you know the dangers of being gay? There was a small country, Fabulatainia, next to ancient Greece, where everybody turned gay. They only lasted one generation because of it.
What do you mean Sharon, Didn't you know all of their friends are gay/black/insert random minority here?
To paraphrase the Will Ferrell version of Bush 'My name is Maureen and I support this message in fact I think it's awesome!'
I read a paragraph in a Psych text and the book, "Sybil" so I'm qualified to make that diagnosis.
Sue/Mari/Sophie/Sybil is repressing her lesbian sexual desires behind a gays are bad and against gods law persona.
That is why she claims to hate Sharon and PJS because they are gay but continues to stalk them and their threads.
And Sharon forgive me for this but I think you will recognize the truth in what I am about to say.
She either wants Sharon in a sexual/relationship way or wants to be like Sharon who is comfortable in her own skin.
But I had to laugh up there about the person who suggested that as long as gay marriage is a no-no, so should straight divorce be! Ha! That outta solve that in a hurry!
And the other one...all those pushing hate as a family value should be forced to live in a 10x10 room with their family for a month. That would teach the lone survivor a little about hate.
I'm really tired, but I bought a wireless keyboard and just want to type away...
Do all gay people have cooties or are you just special?
Lori - I think she would like to comfortable in her own skin like I am. Unfortunately, she doesn't have the ovaries for it.
Bob - There is actually a website called Fabulon and it's hysterical and stylized old hollywood. I sent PJS there and now he's addicted.
Maureen - Did I ever tell you that's my daughters name. I love the name Maureen. Your kids are going to be most awesome with a sparkling, bright mama like you.
EM Jay - I read the whole book, can we tie her to the leg of the piano while we play all day?
Gay cooties and all.
Ron - Your tired little pooter doesn't need to know everything.
Sue* - Why? Is it an EM Jay thingie?
Shannon - Couldn't help yourself couldja?
I am so damned tired of waiting for everyone to pull their head out of their asses and just live and let live! So, in other words, I want cooties!!!
"Dikes on Bikes"!!!
:^D
Dykes on Bikes have some really hot butchie girls fer sure.
Where do I sign?
It's about time!
Have you ever noticed that a lot of the people who are so vehemently opposed to gay rights get caught in the act later on or have skeletons in their closet they're trying to repress? Makes you wonder, eh?
Ha ha!
Wade- Yeah I love when they get caught with their pants down.
Thanks Kathy.
I'm givin' cooties to one man in particular. We may accept others, but you'll need to pass inspection.
Loved your post! Im with Heather on this one.. Im a curvy ally ;)
Great post Mama Sharon! *HUGS*
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~
I'd rather see Peter in pink lipstick.........he is adorable!! Anything he wears or doesn't wear always makes him fabulous!!