The Ten Worst Movies of 2008

1. ‘Dave’ – Eddie Murphy plays the leader of a crew of miniature humanoid aliens who board a human looking spacecraft (also played by Murphy) and head to Earth in the hopes of saving their dying world. It is as bad as it sounds.

2. ‘The Hottie and the Nottie’ – Paris Hilton is supposedly the prettiest person ever and they made poor Christine Lakin (Al from ‘Step by Step!’) so…not. The pounds of makeup, prosthetic mole and yellowing fake teeth couldn’t hide the movie’s shallow plot and insipid lesson.

3. ’88 Minutes’ – Stars All Pacino as a professor at a university in whose implausible storyline and ridiculous characters pale next to a performance in which you seem to be either half asleep or yelling. The worst part is the movie is 108 minutes and not 88 – painful minutes long, which makes it both literally and figuratively the longest 88 minutes of our lives.

4. ‘Fool’s Gold’ – Starring Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson in which they are both depleted of sex appeal, even with skimpy scuba gear and bathing suits. As if that isn’t bad enough, there are even offensive stereotypes – ultra-effeminate gay men, criminally stereotyped rapper – to keep everyone away.

5. ‘Saw V’ - With these people grinding out five films in as many years , these blood and guts films have finally taken a toll as these flicks try too hard to one up itself with plot twists. Sure there are still some cringe worthy moments but even if you’re just looking for gore, it’s still a bore. ‘Saw VI’ is already in the works. –

6. ‘Jumper’ – Is an erratically incoherent story with mediocre special effects and laughable line readings by Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson. ‘Jumper’ landed with a resounding thud. Too fast for its own good, it made most want to jump right out the window.

7. ’10,000 B.C.’ – A film that follows a prehistoric tribe on an epic quest as they encounter one historical inaccuracy and impossibility after another. Worst of all, boring as hell.

8. ‘Disaster Movie ‘ – Spook master hit hits an all time low if that is even possible, with this rubbish which doesn’t even lampoon disaster films, it lampoons scenes from memorable if completely random movie trailers.

9. ‘The Love Guru’ – Mike Myers’ new spiritual leader character left audiences subjected to blatant discrimination against various cultures, physical attributes and worst of all, people who like laughing. No comedy enlightenment here even with a laundry list of (what-were-they-thinking) co-stars.

10. ‘The Happening’ – Starring Mark Wahlberg and a movie by M. Night Shyamalan. It is a laughable eco-horror movie with B-movie shocks and C-grade acting and F-marks writing. The movie is horrible and I’d only recommend seeing it if you get it free on television.

Have you seen any of these movies? Regretfully I have and boy what a waste of time! Number ten should really be the number one worst film and reversed on the list but as horrible as all of these films were it wouldn’t really matter how they ranked. Sad but true. Hopefully you weren’t one of those who paid full price to see one of these losers like I did, or the $5.99 on pay per view like I did. L