Coffee Cup Gremlins!

It's time, people. We've avoided the truth for too too long. You know. I know it. And the gremlins know it! Especially the gremlins!

Of course you're pretending to have no idea what I'm referring to. That's what we do after all, isn't it? Things happen and we don't understand them, but we choose not to discuss it. That's precisely what they count on! Our tacit compliance for fear of ridicule.

For instance, I know that each of us has, at one point or another, discovered a coffee mug sitting in the microwave. Now I'm not speaking here about a steamy, freshly warmed and ready-to-sip mug of coffee. No! I'm talking about the cold, disgusting possibly sludgy mug of coffee, discovered hours, days or even weeks after any recollection on your part of having placed any coffee mug in this location, much less this mug!

The first few times this happens, we dismiss it without even thinking about it. That's a defense mechanism our minds employ to protect us from the insidious awful reality that our sub-conscious mind is all too aware of! Gremlins communicate directly with the sub-conscious... they bypass our normal psychic blocking mechanisms and plant little seeds of fear... fear of confronting the truth.

As I've advanced to the esteemed strata of a fifty-something, I've now become much more aware of these kinds of incidents. On what basis can I make such a statement? Well, I think it's abundantly clear, since I notice them virtually every single day! I'd call that proof people! Barely a day goes by wherein some random object doesn't mysteriously appear, or disappear-and-then-reappear, in a location that is completely unexpected (or quite possibly wholly irrational!)

I'm firmly entrenched... er... convinced in the belief that I'm right on this (as well as pretty much everything else, but that's not my point right now.) And, as I was saying... my real point was... um... whatever it was I was really really sure of it... I do remember that much!

Well... I'll get back to you when it comes to me. In the meantime, I need to go find my coffee mug. The last time I saw it I was looking for my pants, so it's probably on the balcony... (it's -11° F right now, and that's the good news...)

Wait? Is that the phone? I can barely hear it! Ha! It almost sounds like it's in the 'fridge! That would be funny!

What's it doing in the refrigerator? Damned gremlins! Gotta go! We'll talk more later! (Be sure to remind me...)

Note! These are Coffee Fairies... if not for these wonderful sprites, the gremlins
would make our lives a living hell! Please don't confuse fairies with gremlins!

Comments: 14

Sarah A. (I KANZ B UH RITUR!!!!) , YEZ!! Jan 15, 2009, 4:12pm EST

I don't think it's gremlins. I think people come to my house and move stuff around.

And by the by, I did put the phone in the fridge once. We were serving dinner to my boyfriend's parents when it rang...

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Ariel Storm Jan 15, 2009, 4:19pm EST

I think its gremlins that leave empty coffee mugs around my house.

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Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Jan 15, 2009, 4:27pm EST

I don't have coffee mug gremlins at my place, thank you very much. But I do want to know what happened to all my serving spoons. Mark, would you check your microwave for them?

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Dame Ruth, Chief Executive Elitist D. Jan 15, 2009, 5:39pm EST

I've discovered that the gremlins become even more mischievous after losing vision in one eye...As soon as you reach for something that's right there, the little fuckers move it to there, causing one to miss when reaching for it, an act that leads to endless strings of hilarious (to gremlins) consequences.

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Debra (Gather SiteWarrior Extraordinaire) Jan 15, 2009, 6:41pm EST

I put my phone in the Cuisinart food processor once. It was after I banged it on the counter several times. My ex knows. He was on the other end at the time.

I had to buy a new phone.

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Sarah A. (I KANZ B UH RITUR!!!!) , YEZ!! Jan 15, 2009, 7:35pm EST

Debra,

When my son was a toddler he took the phone in the closet to 'show' something to his dad... and ripped the connector out. After that I got a speaker phone.

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Sarah A. (I KANZ B UH RITUR!!!!) , YEZ!! Jan 15, 2009, 7:36pm EST

Tho, I must say the Cuisinart was pretty inventive. Remind me not to tick you off...

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Debra (Gather SiteWarrior Extraordinaire) Jan 15, 2009, 7:57pm EST

Remind me not to tick you off...

that's what he said.

he's still laughing at me, years later.

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Aniko Jan 16, 2009, 2:51am EST

When I find a coffee mug in the microwave, it's a good day. They're a lot more elusive than that, especially in the mornings. I give up after checking the usual coffee-mug-resting places twice, and just make another cup.

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Mark Jepsen Jan 16, 2009, 5:45am EST

Debra, what exactly did that phone represent at that moment? Let's see... typical phone is 5" to 6" in length, rigid and often goes off when you don't want it to... (and conversely doesn't always "go off" when you want it to)... hmmm... nope. I got nothin'...

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Debra (Gather SiteWarrior Extraordinaire) Jan 16, 2009, 10:47am EST

hahahahahah, Mark.

All I can say at this time in the morning is, thanks for the laugh!

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Peregrine * Jan 16, 2009, 7:59pm EST

Finding coffee cups in the microwave happens pretty often here in my daily battle to have a hot cup of coffee. It always cools before I actually drink it. I may not even drink coffee anymore.

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