by Gary Gentry
Member since:
November 16, 2005

NFC Prayoffs next Sunday

January 13, 2009 04:31 PM EST
views: 58 | comments: 20

         I didn't know God was a football fan. However, both Kurt Warner, quarterback of the Arizona Cardinals, and Donovan McNabb, quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles, have revealed that God is responsible for their teams' respective victories in the National Football League this past weekend. Now these two teams will meet in the NFC Championship PRAYOFF game next Sunday, setting up an internal conflict in the Big Cheerleader in the Sky.

        Which team will He favor with victory? McNabb led group prayer before his game, but will that be enough against Warner's Cardinals? After every Cardinals touchdown, Warner raised his eyes and both index fingers heavenward in praise. Will this impress God enough to give the Cards the victory and send them to the Superbowl?

Tune in Sunday (after church, of course. You DO have Tivo?)

 

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Comments: 20

Con Chapman Jan 13, 2009, 4:47pm EST
I was a Cardinals' fan when they were in St. Louis. Most people think the Detroit Lions are the worst franchise ever, but the Cardinals have them beat. As bitter as I was when they left town, I'm coming out of my cave like a Japanese soldier three years after WWII ended. You have to like Warner even if he is a religious nut.
Farmer Slim aka Michael H Jan 13, 2009, 5:10pm EST
I think god must draw a straw....maybe flip a coin.
Bob Cronley Jan 13, 2009, 5:29pm EST
In a press conference, God didn't reveal which team he bet on. But he did reveal that he consulted his luck rabbit's foot before betting.
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Jan 13, 2009, 5:33pm EST
This should answer the big question once and for all. If their god is real, the game must end in a tie.
Verie Sandborg Jan 13, 2009, 7:46pm EST
By making God responsible for the outcome, both quarterbacks stand to gain something. The team that wins gets the prestige of being the chosen one. The team that loses carries no responsibility for the loss because God chose the winner.
Bert B. Jan 13, 2009, 8:32pm EST
Ah, Verie has, as usual, penetrated to the core of the issue. Once God is invoked, mere humans are freed from any responsibility for the outcome. So the result should be...winners should claim no victory and losers should feel no shame. After all, God made the decision.
The Crusades and the Inquisition were justified with similar rationalization. Religion is the Great Escape From Accountability.
For nonbelievers like me, it's a little harder.
Edward Shaw Jan 13, 2009, 8:57pm EST
NFC "Prayoffs?" Good one, Gary.
Gary Gentry Jan 13, 2009, 9:21pm EST
I just hope the Almighty doesn't get pissed off and strike one q'back with a lightening bolt or some such display of displeasure.
Gary Gentry Jan 13, 2009, 9:36pm EST
"How many times must I telleth thee, THOU SHALT NOT THROW INTO DOUBLE COVERAGE" Kablow!!! And there goes the entire stadium. We already know from that Job business that some collateral damage doesn't bother God.
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Jan 13, 2009, 10:49pm EST
"some collateral damage doesn't bother God"

In that case, I hope he follows Bush home.
Robert S. Jan 13, 2009, 11:18pm EST
Florida's Tebow gave God credit for their victory over those heathen Okies. I am sure the Sooners were hoping that Stoops believed it was God's fault that they lost.

God's a gator fan, unbelieveable.
Robert S. Jan 13, 2009, 11:19pm EST
I wonder if God watches NASCAR.
Gary Gentry Jan 14, 2009, 11:37am EST
Robert:
I bet he does. And I bet he sends images of Virgin Mary and Jesus onto pieces of toast.
Gary Gentry Jan 14, 2009, 11:44am EST
Con Chapman: I sort of expected to see a Con Chapman report on this phenomenon. Hope I didn't spoil it.

Bob Cronley: Where do you suppose he places his bets?
Dave Sandborg Jan 14, 2009, 12:19pm EST
Reminds me of this line from Dire Straits: "Two men say they're Jesus, one of them must be wrong."
Gary Gentry Jan 14, 2009, 3:05pm EST
Dave: I don't know...here in Phoenix, Jesus is listed in the phone book about 1,000 times. Jesus Hernandez, Jesus Mendoza, Jesus Ramirez....
Robert S. Jan 14, 2009, 7:52pm EST
Everbody knows that Jesus was from Guadalajara.
Dave A. Jan 14, 2009, 8:36pm EST
Bert: Ah, Verie has, as usual, penetrated to the core of the issue. Once God is invoked, mere humans are freed from any responsibility for the outcome. So the result should be...winners should claim no victory and losers should feel no shame. After all, God made the decision.
The Crusades and the Inquisition were justified with similar rationalization. Religion is the Great Escape From Accountability. For nonbelievers like me, it's a little harder.

Hey Bert, what is happening in the personal lives of those players? God's grace could rain upon them, on both teams, and it is possible that some taco-chip-consuming spectators would not notice. That said, I'm pulling for an all-Pennsylvania Super Bowl. Praise the Lord!
Bob Cronley Jan 15, 2009, 11:58pm EST
Bob Cronley: Where do you suppose he places his bets?

Why do think God made it legal to gamble in Las Vegas? :)
Gary Gentry Jan 16, 2009, 4:20pm EST
Bob:
Randy Newman wrote a musical "Faust" wherein God (James Taylor) and Satan (Newman) vie for supremacy. In the end they reach an accomodation with Newman singing:

"You can have your desert
Godammit give me mine
Here in Las Vegas..."

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