It takes along time for me to see the need to 'redo' parts of my books. I love them so. Each word is a cell of the greater whole.
As most of you know I completely scrapped the beginning of Safe Harbor, because it didn't start in the right place. The wisdom was must helpful in this endeavor. Not in what had to go, but how to get the right punch for the new beginning.
I'm staring at the end of another MS. It's completely wrong. I wimped out and it shows. It stretches creditability to a ridiculous level. I'm ready to do it right. So what's the problem?
All the pages of interaction which will hit the floor. Some serious bleeding is going to happen, and I don't seem to have the stomach for it.. yet.
Many of us have been working on serious edits of our work. Are you working on sentence structure, cadence, dialog..or redoing sections as you go.. or all of the above?


Comments: 310
I'll comment on the topic before I head back to work.
On the question: "Are you working on sentence structure, cadence, dialog..or redoing sections as you go.. or all of the above?"
Yes, in my latest edit, from the beginning to end of my first novel, I've been doing all of the above, which is why it has taken quite a while. The "paper edit" helped a lot to help me identify sentences which just felt clumsy and needed to be re-worked. I'm now going through and applying the changes into the computer, which sometimes results in tweaking it a bit more. I'm hoping to finish all of this real soon now . . .
Death Domain is going to be my focus for a couple of weeks. It's too heavy in the science so I have to rework the scenes into layman's terms. Or at least give enough description for the non-scientist to follow what's going on. YET, I can't bog it down with too much description or it loses its edge. THUS, my dilemma. sigh.... I can do it and I feel good about the changes after I make them. It's just lots of work. And we all know I have enough work-work to worry about. So we'll see how it goes. I've been stuck on a section for oh... I'd say about 9 months. *shakes head RIDICULOUS.
I forgot my rock symbol at the end of the last thread. \m/ Rock on Wombats. :-)
Avenged Sevenfold "Scream" is on.
Okay, back to work. Powerpoints don't rewrite themselves, you know.
Hi, James and Jamie! "cheek-kisses all around* (I got distracted for a few minutes there by my kitty, who panicked over the noise the gardeners are making and climbed up my curtain. I didn't she had it in her anymore, but apparently they caught her by surprise right outside the window.)
Let's see. Was the Amazon contest worth it? Sort of yes, sort of no. It was gratifying to do well and I got some good feedback. There's a very healthy community over there, too, although I abandoned them after the contest because I have lots of writing communities on the web (most importantly you guys) and found it too hard to keep up with so many conversations. What makes me say it wasn't entirely worth it was that the positive review I got from Publisher's Weekly (and mine was entirely positive, which was rare) didn't impress a single agent. At all. Also, the mechanics of moving ahead in the contest were mysterious and ultimately had nothing to do with anything the contestants did (except, of course for producing our entries.) The winners were apparently selected by the panel of editors' sense of where in their lists they might like to plug a hole. So all those hours spent reviewing and soliciting reviews, all the numbers games and ratings - they had nothing to do with anything. Really.
That's not to say, by the way, that the winners were substandard. The writing was good. The initial selections, which were done by editors and reviewers and not by popular acclaim, culled out the truly amateurish stuff. The Top 100 were all pretty easy on the eyes, and the Top 10 were very good. There were many in the Top 100 which could have been in the Top 10 - we all had our favorites - but none of the Top 10 were poorly written. So that part was nice.
Also, it was a learning experience to realize how much the process is, after all, driven by those lists.
I might do it again. I worked on my manuscript a little during the year, and I'd submit the same one -- The Raider's Wife. It's clearly the most finished piece I have. Moving ahead on other things got pushed off because of the drama in my personal life.
I wish I had a list of stuff Julia listens to. That kid's musical tastes are pretty amazing. Last night I think she was playing a lot of Rihanna, and I was finding myself dancing from room to room while I took the Christmas kitsch off my shelves and walls.
Cathy
Also - hi, Wendy! And thanks for the new thread! I'll comment in a bit.
I work on the little stuff all the time. The big rewrites are a totally different animal. Thinking to attack some structure issues on the first ms. But I admit it--I just don't wanna. That's the big one--250,000 plus a few. Do I really want to hack away at it? Yeah, if I want to make it right, I guess I do. But the idea doesn't appeal at all.
Heading out to pick up a computer then hook it back up to a projection system. Please work. Please, please, please. This is the 3rd time in about 6 weeks that the thing's given me fits. It's a different problem every time. I'm just ready for it to work every time someone turns it on. Later, 'bats.
My underlying stories don't change much. I've got stuff which is self-indulgent and doesn't move the story forward.. and I like it all the same. hang my head.. I'll get there.
The best advice I've ever gotten was to find those phrases where I simply blow myself away with my extraordinary talent, and throw those suckers out. They aren't really as good as I think they are, but because I like them so much, I'm warping the rest of the story around them.
I know, it's hard. I have a file of my 'gems.' Sometimes I find one that still blows me away, even ten years after I excised it from the manuscript, but I've never been tempted to put one back. The manuscript is just so much better without the sparkly bits. (Actually, once those pieces are gone, the real sparkly bits get a chance to shine.)
More crudely put, this is called 'killing your babies.' I've never had a writing instructor who didn't present this as a cardinal rule of fiction writing. And once you try it, you'll realize that they're all right, damn it.
Okay, I need my lunch. (Also, I think I need new curtains, due to that crazy cat.)
Cathy
Cathy: Right now it looks like I'm going to give Char one more revision and try it out on the Amazon contest. I would try my WIP, but I'm pretty sure it won't be in shape by the beginning of February.
From my point of view I'm glad that the contest powers that be don't seem to pay too much attention to the "popular vote" aspect of the contest because I would rather not get sucked into that kind of a marketing frenzy again, especially when the people who went further last year and then hung around would have so much of a home court advantage.
You have helped edit a fiction WIP, Sy. Don't be shy, Sy. You know what the process is like. It sucks eggs.
The second book, more of the same. Much more. Because it's longer. I also found that in my zeal to cut it the last time I'd looked at it, I actually had cut too much. There was some unpleasant subject matter in it, and I had been afraid that I'd overdone it - and I did find a few scenes that didn't have to be there, but the fact is, some of it did need to be there. So I had to put that back, and also work with the language to get the right tone of...uh...hallucinatory brutality, I guess you could call it.
Then there's the book out on submission. I had a hell of a time even making myself read it again. I just couldn't focus on it. I still don't think my focus was at its best (it's going to take some time and distance before that happens), but I was able to get through it well enough to see a place where I could add a little juice and tweak a couple of things. And all that concluded last night around 2 AM!
So I'm tired. More coffee...
Yeah, but lashing into someone else's book is just sadistic fun. Not that I enjoyed seeing you suffer, or anything (mwaha).
Lisa, wow, we have the next two or three threads all set. You, then Beth, then Sia, if she ever shows up. This is highly unWombat of us. But all this organization does remind me of something. What was it? Oh yeah, the website. Is that still being thunk about?
I really don't care who wins but I'm interested in watching the quarterbacks play. Tebow is not that hot an NFL prospect, for reasons I didn't understand until I read this New Yorker article.
Good luck with Char, Dale. I've always liked her.
Cathy
I am burned out right now, but must keep writing. I want another Wombat get-together!
Cathy
Those of you who think I only bleed on your stuff, ha!
And this totally isn't a bookmark. Really.
So I started over from scratch. The fun part was that I knew the story inside and out (I should, I'd already rewritten it twice), and I knew the characters. Even the new character I added (a love interest) was one that I knew from the beginning. She's the one that a lot of people who read my crime contest entry thought was annoying or naive or charming.
Now that I think about it, I realize I rewrote the novel in two months. Wow. Me? A novel in two months? But the fun part came when I could use whole sections of the first book -- sometimes changing names, sometimes using them as flashbacks -- and boy did it help seeing those word counts jump!
I also realized today that not only did that book go through so many incarnations, it also went through a lot of title incarnations: The Law of the Jungle, The Nature of the Beast, More Deaths Than One. (There was a short-lived fourth title in there, but I can't remember.)
Bookmark.
I think you were the one who told me about Firefly way back when I was new here, after I said how much I loved the movie Serenity. I finally remembered to put Firefly on our Blockbuster list and got the first disk earlier this week. Yikes - love it, can't begin to understand how I missed it originally, am heartbroken that the whole thing flew right by me - wham, bam, thank-you-ma'am - and was relegated to history before I'd even heard of it. Husband and youngest daughter pretty much share my feelings.
It was you, wasn't it?
Cathy
I am on the phone with dish.. second, no call, no show in one week. I've been told I was scheduled for days I wasn't and scheduled for days I didn't know about. When asked if I wanted the tech's number I said, "Auh No. I'm done dealing with those people."
Now I have to deal with those people. Murder, carnage, maiming, cussing, swearing, swinging sharp objects. Smiling sweetly while planning something of a violent nature. GRRRRR!
As you were.
Lisa: You did the Chinese signs for Firefly? That is extremely cool.
Does anyone here watch "Chuck"? My wife and I watch it as kind of a guilty pleasure. Harmless fun little show. Geek who works at a thinly disguised Best Buy as part of the 'Nerd Herd' gets involved in a bunch of spy stuff. It's on Monday nights.
Another guilty pleasure: Reaper. A slacker kid finds out on his 18th birthday that his parents have sold his soul to the devil, and he now has a job working for the devil bringing back escaped souls to hell. The plot is a lot like Brimstone, but it has a weird off-beat humor to it.
Joss Whedon, the guy who did Firefly (along with Buffy and Angel), is going to be back on network TV this spring with a show called Doll House. It stars the actress who played Faith on Buffy and Angel. I think it's on Fox, which probably means it'll be road kill unless it is a runaway success after a couple of episodes.
I hate the way they cut shows before they have time to develop an audience. I loved Tru Calling (one season and six episodes of the second) They also canceled Wonderfalls (I think they only showed two episodes of the 12 or 13 they shot before the canceled it). Nice little show. Extremely quirky. Slacker girl graduates from college and starts work at a gift shop near Niagara Falls at minimum wage. Hides from life until toy animals start talking to her, giving her cryptic messages that (if she interprets them correctly) help her save people in one way or another.
Style, Cadence, and Influence, NWJC Discussion #47
I have a "Blue Sun" T-shirt too!
whimper.
Whine.
Wine.
Yes.
Wine.
Are you in Venice? What's between Venice and Monrovia? Hey, my son's in Irvine. Is Irvine at all convenient? (There's an amazing taco-stand-thingie next door to Irvine with amazing food, and they actually serve beer. The name of it'll come to me at many moment now...It's right at the bottom of the 57.)
Dana. Yes. Wine.
Takin' Julia out for her birthday. She's 17. Years old. Seventeen years old. Urgh. And as I was old enough to be her grandmother when she was born, I feel awfully, awfully...mature at the moment.
Cathy
Mike, DH is now handling situation. It doesn't sound as if it's going well.
On an up note? I got a couple of hours in on our iMovie for the Murder Mystery deal. Pictures in place, music, subtitles.. I've not done this before.. How is it you guys manage to push my limits and make me stretch?
Off to pop in on Pat.
I must have a face that says, tell me your private thoughts and feelings. Was speaking to a woman at the Y--and I won't preface by saying picture this since the woman was, uh, not dressed. (You guys are picturing something, aren't you?) Anyway, we did the hello thing and suddenly I'm hearing about her dog, about somebody messing with her dog. Messing with her dog in a way I don't think I want to hear about. Then she moves on to the almost ex-husband and what an ass he is and even mentions how wonderful it was without the kids for 2 weeks at Christmas--was she doing the right thing in pursuing full-time custody? Uh, I don't know. Never seen the woman before. Wow. Kinda weird.
Going to check out NoWhine. Anything to keep me from pretending to write tonight.
I'm writing to ask for permission to reprint these three articles in the newsletter for the Midwest Independent Publishers Association (www.mipa.org) and on MIPA's blog (http://mipa-blog.blogspot.com). It would be of great interest to our readers. Please let me know if such permission can be granted, and what citation information should be used.
Thanks,
Sheyna Galyan
Newsletter/Blog editor
Midwest Independent Publishers Assocation (MIPA)
First of all, thanks to all who’ve sent emails asking if I’m still employed. Yes, I am. It’s been a weird couple of days. “Weird” as in that old curse, “May you live in interesting times”.
Our new CIO provided a box luncheon for us today and did a very brief meet and greet. He’s a retired Army Lt. Colonel (24 years) who was some sort of operations and logistics expert. He insists he’s not one of those autocratic, hard ass military types, since he wasn’t infantry. He seems amiable enough, and says he’s granting autonomy to the three directors under him. He’s very much a big picture guy, and swears he can take it if you tell him he’s doing something stupid (yeah, like I’m gonna do THAT! No wait, I seem to recall that’s what got me into trouble with the boss they just fired. Oh well…) He lives in Tampa and has no plans to move here, but will be here 2 or 3 days a week as needed (I ADORE absentee bosses!). He favors cats over dogs. VERY much. He made a point of this. Buttoned down military man with a cat. Is it just me, or does anybody else get an image of Bond’s Blofeld stroking his white cat while plotting world domination?
He said he has no plans to fire anyone, unless they lie to him (his pet peeve, always a handy thing to know. Fortunately, that’s my pet peeve as well. Lie to me and die.). However, he is going to reorganize the department, and likely introduce technologies that may eliminate some positions. However, the person will be given the opportunity to fill another empty slot if qualified (for instance, it would be no stretch at all for me to move to the “real” project office, instead of hiding out under cover in IT).
At the same time, my boss invited me today to be the co-coordinator with him on a massive, ugly project having to do with Medicare. I don’t know all the details, except it sounds like a ginormous pork barrel project having to do with one of the Native American tribes (the name currently escapes me). The price for failing to implement this new government mandate by July 1st is $1000 (yes THOUSAND) per DAY per CLAIM we fail to report properly. And there is the potential for us to miss THOUSANDS of claims, since the whole scheme is set up for planned failure, I’m assuming to generate income for the tribe.(One missed claim could potentially put a company out of business in penalties). Its truly hinky. Essentially, we have a huge sledgehammer swinging in our direction, and my boss has invited me to jump up on the anvil next to him and try to ward off the blow. Because I apparently have suicidal tendencies and am at that reckless stage of life, I of course said yes.
The upside is that since we have an entirely new senior management structure (since they finished firing the entire OLD senior management structure on Tuesday), there is not one single person left there who knows me or has any negative history with me (I’d managed to either piss off or baffle most of the last crew). So it’s a chance to completely reinvent myself (I do this every couple of years; this time I believe I will use the name “Ivanna”), reinvigorate a boring job, and restart a stalled career (and make all sorts of new and more lethal enemies!). Pull this off, and all kinds of fabulous doors could open, confetti pour down on me, maybe even a new tiara!. On the downside, if we fail, my name is attached to a multi-million dollar debacle and I will be left standing at ground zero with nothing but a paper parasol to protect me when the sledgehammer falls (one reason for using the name “Ivanna”!). I just need to get the rest of the team to play along and not tell anyone my real name is Joan!
Later my dears and darlings!
(SY: WTG is text message speak for Way To Go). Just helping out.
Lisa, Monrovia is indeed in East LA county, about 10 miles or so east of Pasadena. So Pasadena, South Pasadena, Sierra Madre, Arcadia, and Monrovia are my main stomping grounds. And yes, Monrovia is extremely quaint.
Looking at the map, I see you're right - it's a slog to the Irvine area. Sadly, the midway point between us is LA proper - also a slog to both get around, and get around in. Any chance you could make it to South Pasadena? I'm pretty sure I can figure out a place there.
Beth, you don't want to come to Monrovia? It's nice this time of year. Lots of wildlife. The big news in our town right now is that somebody killed the mama bear, and her half-grown cubs are haunting the place. A friend of mine lives adjacent to the National Forest, and keeps finding them in her hot tub.
Uh, Pat, I think your story is why I don't work anymore. Not because you pissed me off, or I pissed you off, or however that goes, but because the politics of the thing finally got the best of me. And because I told my boss to do something which is actually anatomically impossible. Revenge best served cold: the jerk got laid off not long after for gross incompetence. Hah! I said when I heard the news. This proves I'm smarter than those guys. I knew he was incompetent years ago!
Cathy
Wow Pat, that all sounds very stressful at work. And I'm recalling how very hard you worked during recent transitions with that company. I'm sure it will all pay off, but how strained in the meantime.
Cathy! I'm so glad you shared your experience in the Amazon contest. That's really helpful info. I'm pretty sure I'll be entering, especially now that I won't feel that I must troll for votes.
South Pas is good, too. And Old Town in Pasadena - although a pain in the ass to park in - is chock full of nice restaurants.
Cathy
I have a very, very good understanding of the military mind. When he opened the floor for questions, mine was first ("fools rush in where angels fear to tread" is my motto). I asked his rank. Dealing with an officer is different than dealing with a non-comm. When he said he started as a second louie and ended as a light colonel (military speak) I instantly knew how to communicate with him. Especially when he expressed his regret at having a desk job instead of infantry. Infantry will get you a general's stars. Desk job gets you a light (lieutant) colonel instead of even a full bird colonel ("Full bird" is a higher rank, so named for the insignia, an eagle, both ranks lower than a general). That says "frustrated ambition to be carried into the civilian world. I MUST make a name for myself". With that tiny info I instantly knew his ambitions, how to communicate with him, and how to feed his frustrated ego. I have a military sort of mind. This could work.
I'm going to go curl up in bed with my book - One Drop by Bliss Boyard. Memoir about a white girl from New York who discovers when her father is dying that, by the one-drop rule, she's actually a black girl from New York. Talk about your identity crisis!
Cathy
This is not a bookmark. Seriously.
Editing is actually kinda fun, in a weird way for me. I like going back and finding all the crap I put into something and yanking it out. Of course, have never done a full-length MS edit so I have no experience. Maybe I will hate that. heh
Pat I will take your word on this 'new' environment. I'm not cut out for the corporate world. One can only imagine the dead lines you are going to be up against with this project.. projected failure? ODG We'll be here to listen. Give pep talks and otherwise help you unwind.. I remember the last dash for the finish line and it wasn't pretty.. there were a succession of them if memory serves.
You can retire next year, right? The light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train?
Bears in a hot tub.. has she gotten pictures Cathy? We have bears further up and so far they've been content to stay there.. so I'm content. grin
Thanks for the stapler Jill, it's too small, but I do love it. Swingline rocks!
I'm a completely crabby, unreasonable people right now. Not fit for such company as your wonderful selves.. so I am off to bed where I can't do harm.
Goodnight Neverland
Ohhh, I love Firefly and Serenity. Quirky sci fi shows on the SciFi channel, I wish they wouldn't cut them so short too. You can't get a chance to find them, get hooked and begin to watch before they kick them to the curb. Really annoying.
Time to hit the sack as my grandpa used to say. Night all.
And might I say... AWESOME, Dale! for article recognition.
Might I also say... TGIF!
Firefly RULZ!
Hope you make it hope safe and dry, Ken.
Did I mention TGIF?
You can borrow my fiction muse, Dana. I will require my nonfiction muse for the next couple of months, but the fiction muse is unoccupied at the moment.
And, lessee.... TGIF!
Off to work. I think I have an uninterrupted day of writing my labbook, which does not suck eggs at all.
TGIF....
bye!
(yes, bookmark, dammit!)
"Quit screwing around and buy the damn computer." Dead silence and the computer was on the man's desk in a week. Were they really waiting for some crusty jerk from engineering to tell them what to do? Sad.
I read a study once that showed the variance between productivity in software engineers is as much as 100:1. In other words, if there are 100 engineers on staff, there may be one that is 1% as effective as #1. Do you think #1 is paid 100X as much as #100? I think not. Most of the managers I worked with had no idea who was #1 or #100. In fact, #1 was often an uncommuncative, slobby, grumpy, oddball with nearly zero people skills. In other words a real pain in the bosses keister. Someone barely tolerated.
As a guy in the field, I'm beyond much of the corporate BS. However, if I do have to go to a meeting or I'm faced with some tempest-in-a-teapot drama? I'm wearing a bracelet. It says 'What would Glen Do'? Ha!
Ken- it always annoyed me that basket weaving profs get paid the same as science profs. And PE teachers usually get paid MORE than science teachers (because of coaching). I guess I should have majored in basket weaving. A major in PE was never a consideration.
Racing by (of course) but thanks to Wendy, who quite accurately remembers the last sequence of brutal deadlines. I'm sorry it got so ugl, and thank all you folks for giving me a place to get in out of the shelling and rest awhile.
A very quick word about the word "guys", as in "you guys". The new CIO kept using the term "you guys" in yesterday's meeting. Suddenly, he looked around the room and realized in the sea of male faces, there were also four women (although I confess, one of the women is very, very easily mistaken for a man). He cleared his throat and gruffly said "Of course, when I say 'you guys', that also includes you lady-guys." It made me laugh, but made everyone else nervous. I do hope he catches up with the 21st century before HIS boss (our FEMALE CEO) hears him saying "lady guys".
Later.
It's sure to open some questioning eyes
Is it part of don't ask don't tell
Or is is part of a disarming spell
Is it time to hide in far away cubicle
And read perhaps about the blue carbuncle
I can not say
Much too far away
But from your glimpse, our little lookie
I plan to sit and watch while eating a cookie
It's just been that kinda week. I've got a beef with the old vet for not send records to new vet.. maybe that's why they are the old vet.
Ken best wishes sent your way.
Lady guys? I can so see a retired military officer say that! rofl! We love ya Pat.. so there's nothin for it, but honker down with you.
Jamie if anyone can get a printer online it's you. Across campus? In January..in the middle of NE? BBBrrrrrrrrrrr! You should get a raise for your endurance and ingenuity.
Our warm spell is over. The sun is shining (see me standing in the snow with face tipped up) and it's around 20ish. Too cold to melt. Not cold enough to make me horribly unhappy.
Gina I hope your family is up and out of the mess over there. I didn't hear anything on the news about your specific area so I'm taking it as good news.
I've had my coffee so it's time to go untangle the rest of my messes. Send a recovery team should I go missing. evil grin
*sticks tongue out at Mike for that cold tile floor remark. I bet you even have socks or slippers on.
I call all my students "guys", most of which are female. I don't really think of it as a male-only term. Bad habit I should break.
I am going to need the name and location of your company so I am sure not to mistakenly apply for a job there. I am allergic to colonels. Just sayin.
Speaking of jobs, more interviews for me (in fact I have in in about 2 hours), but I think Im with Lisa. Unemployment certainly does have its points of interest. There's just that dang money thing.
Good morning!
Afternoon...
Sy, I tend to be allergic to colonels as well (I had one as a 9th grade algebra teacher. He emulated Patton, right down to the riding boots and crop, which he smacked on the desk a lot. Terrifying.) So far no riding crop. Just a cat. Besides, Sy. Columbus is too much like Pittsburgh. You would slit your wrists in 15 minutes.